“If someone doesnt know about it, then it is not the wrong thing to do”
One of my friends said that she believes in this theory. According to her, if she doesnt tell her parents about something she’s doing that she isnt supposed to do, then she isnt lying about it.
I personally think that this is just a lame excuse and just a way of convincing your own guilty conscience that it is okay to do the wrong thing.
I am interested to know opinions on this. The reason being that I have heard plenty of guys use this excuse before but never a girl.
some do it also to avoid raking up a storm unnecessarily - to avoid hurt and bitter confrontations - u know, like some things you can do without. concepts of right and wrong differ from one person to the next, many a time even within the family. for eg, when ur an adult yourself, an individual in the world. just so you don't hurt your parents, you avoid mentioning certain things around them, even though you feel theres nothing wrong about it.
I find it amusing when someone says, 'If no one knows about it, it's not wrong.' In other words, oh in my mind im convinced it's wrong, so if people come to know, im gona chicken out and feel like the biggest sinner ever. I hope such people hide stuff only cos they don't wish to hurt, and if the truth does come out, they can stand by their convictions.
Nia
Ok...firstly its really not neccesary for a people to know everything about you...especially regarding things that happen in your past...
If you raise a question then thats one thing...the person should answer it truthfully...but i dont need to say everything...a lot of things i may not feel are relevant or neccesary to bring up...
For instance with a girl i dont tell her about everything iv done...who iv seen...what we did blah blah...its not neccesary...and its my business...now for some i could be hiding something or im not being honest about certain things...i just feel its irrelevant...
But i agree that if we are dealing with the present then its important to bring up things...
I may not tell my mom every little thing, but she knows what I am upto, and she doesn't ask. I just don't do anything that I couldn't tell her about later on.
It's a very childish and immature mentality really..
Well I think what happened in the past IS important but to some extent. Like for example if he had sex, I’d want to know strictly because of any STDs he might have, and I’d want him to get checked out. If there was some way to make sure that there were no illegitimate kids running around i’d make sure Referring to your thread, I’d sure as hell like to know if he was engaged! When you’re dating someone and in love with them, you don’t think that hey he might have a fiance.. that’s why this question doesn’t come up and so many guys get away with being such jerks.
First off WE ALL HAVE A PAST! its best if people understand it and accept it to make their lives easier…
I think its important to let someone new in your life know that there was someone. They do not need to know detail etc but yeah they must know there was someone.
They should accept you the way you are if they have issues regarding that then you know its not it.
You surely do live in your present and look at your future.. but my friend your past is your shadow it never leaves you remember that :~)
Agreed...past is important...but some things are on a need to know basis...and some things are your personal business...things which one deems relevant he shares...
Past is important for everyone cos as you can see from my signature they shape who you are in the present...and i have no shame about my past or indeed my present...people should know who you are...im just saying that one need not know everything and if people dont bring up things they arent neccesarily hiding something...do you get where im coming from?...
if in a relationship and u have issues related to the past then be open about it with ur partner. i'd never try to hide anything from her nor there is any need to. relationships built on trust and sharing. all u need to do is to explain things in a logical manner. i personally don't mind abt a person's past. for me its the present and future.past is something u can learn from but can't live in. if mistakes were made then be strong, accept them and move on. to lie is going to be the biggest mistake and how many lies will you tell then to hide one mistake? its useless to go in an endless cycle by lieing.
You are right people dont need to know everything but few things should be said its important its their right :)
I am not afraid of my past and i dont think none of us should. It made us who we are today :~)
I do get where you are coming from and i think we are along the same pattern as well :) just coming from different direction so no worries
well passionate…its not a lie if u don’t tell someone… but it is wrong if wht u r doing is wrong…even if no one knows abt it ..allah subhana-u ta’aala…sees & knows everything… even i do a few wrong things…but i certainly don’t think tht it is right…just 'cause no one knows abt it…
Referring to your thread, I’d sure as hell like to know if he was engaged! When you’re dating someone and in love with them, you don’t think that hey he might have a fiance.. that’s why this question doesn’t come up and so many guys get away with being such jerks. 