Another thread turned into MALE BASHING thread
There are not enough of these threads around, please some one create some more.
Re: If a spouse...
that simply means he's a tharki. he couldnt even resist in front of his spouse and he thinks of her as nothing so doesnt care what his actions are as he knows he can get away wid anything he does. he needs a good lecture and to be notifyed that this is not happening again.
Lol! Those who say that talking and laughing is allowed don't realize that in most cases it acts as a "first step" towards what they don't allow. I have seen a lot of such people later extending their limits and say, " Hmm, well! only hand shaking is allowed along with laughing and talking as it is rude not to shake hands if any of them extends his/her hand while leaving after a good session of laughing and talking"
Then while the spouse is alone at home, any one of them (who used to laugh and talk) come, it would be rude if my spouse doesn't allow laughing and talking, while the devil is smiling and waiting for a mistake.
Then if any one of them hugs also (trying to be westernized) then they extend their heart a bit more, " Oh well! once in a while no problem with hugging if they are mature and don't become touchy freely...you know" As if there are sensors connected to one's spouse to indicate that after shaking hand did the current flow from the body or the mind sent a signal that don't let the current flow because s/he is like your brother/sister.
Yeah, that is what happens after we try to make rules of our own and not follow the rules sent by our Lord through His prophet and book.
that simply means he's a tharki. he couldnt even resist in front of his spouse and he thinks of her as nothing so doesnt care what his actions are as he knows he can get away wid anything he does. he needs a good lecture and to be notifyed that this is not happening again.
Does that imply that he should resist only in front of his spouse but not in her absence ? If he does it in her absence than is he still a tharki (whatever that means) ?!
Re: If a spouse...
Trust has its place. If i know him and trust him i wont listen n believe to any 3rd person telling me anything bad about my hubby. I wont do anything that he doesnt like and has forbidden me strickly from doing that. But trust doesnt mean that he can flirt with other ladies infront of me or even in my absence. Sorry but i really wont bear that.
Devil is very smart. He is waiting for any opportunity that doesn't have "barakah" of Allah (swt) in it. Even exchange of beautiful smiles, jokes, "adaai'n" and laughs are enough for him to proceed his plans even if initially hand shaking is prohibited by the spouse. Heeeheeeheee....;)
Re: If a spouse...
Alhamdulillah, me and my wife agree upon and follow a simple rule. She doesn't have male friends and I don't have female friends before and after marriage. she totally avoids my friends and I avoid hers. Alhamdulillah, we are both happy and satisfied with it. Our mutual friends are my sister and his brothers and of course parents.
Re: If a spouse...
Wait what do you constitute flirting? You may just be over reacting.
You can talk a lot as much as you want but WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED TO FLIRT? TRUST..... TRUST MY ASS, I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE/SHE NEEDS TO FLIRT!
Exaclty...he should understand the feelings and love for himself in his wife's heart... if he is not then he must do things like this..
Alhamdulillah, me and my wife agree upon and follow a simple rule. She doesn't have male friends and I don't have female friends before and after marriage. she totally avoids my friends and I avoid hers. Alhamdulillah, we are both happy and satisfied with it. Our mutual friends are my sister and his brothers and of course parents.
How does it feel though? to limit urself to ALL WOMEN except family memebers?
Im sure at one point you had female friends no? How did u avoid them- did u have any close friends (girls) who were hard to avoid but you did? Because im in a similar situation- My fiance has many friends (girls) and i dont talk to any of my friends (guys) i want this commitment from him but he's so hard on letting go.
is that a good commitment??
How does it feel though? to limit urself to ALL WOMEN except family memebers? Im sure at one point you had female friends no? How did u avoid them- did u have any close friends (girls) who were hard to avoid but you did? Because im in a similar situation- My fiance has many friends (girls) and i dont talk to any of my friends (guys) i want this commitment from him but he's so hard on letting go.
is that a good commitment??
It's not a big deal having such a limit or commitment. Seriously. No one dies.
How does it feel though? to limit urself to ALL WOMEN except family memebers? Im sure at one point you had female friends no? How did u avoid them- did u have any close friends (girls) who were hard to avoid but you did? Because im in a similar situation- My fiance has many friends (girls) and i dont talk to any of my friends (guys) i want this commitment from him but he's so hard on letting go.
is that a good commitment??
Be persistant but dont pressure him against his will. His way of looking at it is probably completely different. He doesn't want to give it up because he does not see anything wrong with it. Make him realize its not the right thing to do(thats if he is flirting with his female friends). There is nothing wrong with casually talking when its absolutely necessary with the opposite sex but I think when one partner is not comfortable with it, it can lead to trouble.