If a person stops talking/keeping in touch with you

Lifestyle Relationships
1

What will you do if someone you love and care so much about stops talking/keeping in touch with you,and you don’t really understand the reason why?So,what will you do in such a situation?What should be done in such a situation?

2

Re: If a person stops talking/keeping in touch with you

nothing .. cos if that person cared so much and loved equally .. they wudnt stop .. and its an answer for you to hold ur horses and reconsider about that person ..

but unless in a rare case .. there mayb a possible reason where its their majboori they cudnt contact you ..

and if your really really always .. that why they dunt contact you .. id say thas being possessive ... so i d basically wudnt do anything ..

3

Either u can contact the person asking what is wrong and if u can help, or u can just leave and let go.

I have been through this with a really good friend of mine. Been friends for 15 yrs and suddenly she stopped talking. I asked her several times if I could help her out with the problems she was having with her parents and even suggest to talk to them and convince them to accept the guy she wanted to marry. There was no response at all from her and I left her alone for a while. We didnt speak for almost a year and recently she contacted me too inform me that she got married. she told me this 3 weeks after she got married and she was telling me that some of her close friends were there at the wedding.

So I guess that I have been putting too much effort and high expectations in that friendship.Maybe she didnt see me as best friend but just a good friend or maybe just an aquiantance.
She needed time off from me and now when she is ok, she contacted me again expecting me to be totally ok with it.
I feel hurt but am happy for her.happy that she is finally married to the guy she loves.

In your situation it might also be that u expect more from this person that he/she considers you to be.maybe you are not that important friend to her/him than u perceive him/her to be for you?

4

Maybe that person is having problems or something? Or perhaps you've insulted him/her without realising that. Sometimes someone else tells a lie against you, so that person becomes angry with you over nothing. Or that person only befriended you to use you and found no more use in you, so stopped contact. Anything is possible.

Try find out if everything is ok. Maybe there are problems and you can help. Ask for reasons. If they don't give you, leave it.

I had some friends who used me, then stopped contact, when they saw they couldn't use me for their errands or whatever anymore. One of them especially always came to me, I didn't like her that much, but she always came to my home, always wanted to be with me, it was often annoying, because I wanted to be on my own, with my kids, sometimes. She always wanted me to do all sorts of things for her. I've listened to her problems, helped her with many things, I felt sorry for her. Then, when I was depressed because of family problems, she stopped contact. That was oké, because now she didn't waste my time anymore. But what she also did, was make fake stories against me, say things I didn't say or twist my words around. Those lies she said, hurt me a lot. She just made up all kinds of things! There is a difference between fake friends and real friends.

5

Maybe there was a problem, because of which she couldn't invite you.

I didn't invite any friend to my nikka, they didn't even know. Only the neighbours and all the Pakistani's. They were all at my wedding. At school, I never told anyone. I told Dutch friends that I had chosen a boy friend and that I would be marrying him, you know, how in Europe nikkah doesn't count, so if you want to register your marriage here, you have to get married here too, according to European laws. So you marry twice, you do nikkah and you get married for registrating the wedding here. My nikkah was in France, half a year later, the marraige for registration was in France, I had wanted that to be in Holland, he disagreed, didn't even tell me, he made an appointment for a wedding, I was living in Holland the first period of our marriage, trying to finish school, he came here and sometimes made me visit him. During one of my visits, he suddenly said, we had an appointment that day for a wedding for European registration. I had no suitable clothes, I was a bit ill, but I had to do it. So I was never able to tell the date to my friends, because it was suddenly, unexpected.

Later I told friends I had married him in France, they were hurt and disappointed why I didn't tell them, they wanted to be there. But I didn't even know the registration wedding would be that day. I had wanted to do that in Holland.

So there was another misunderstand between me and those friends.

Maybe your friend really does care more about you than you think, perhaps she had problems and that's why she couldn't invite you. People don't always talk about their problems, not even to friends and sometimes they only talk about problems, years later, after time has passed.

6

That were also my initial thought and I know that she got married under very difficult circumstances so I though ke khair hai as long as she is happy. But then again she only bothered to inform me almost a month after and even in that case I thought that perhaps she didnt find time as newly wed as it takes time to settle down etc but when she told me about the time after the wedding that she was actually on a vacation with a friend instead of honeymoon with her husband, I thought that is she could find time for that and spend time with a friend, then why couldnt she tell me about her wedding then. So I guess I think that my expectations to her are higher than what she thinks of me with regard to being a close friend.
I am very happy for her and wish her all the best and am also happy that I have realized so many things in that friendship during the past years.

7

Well, it seems she really does think of your friendship differently than you. Sometimes it can hurt a bit, when you think the friendship is very close, but then for your friend it apparently isn't.

8

Yes I know. I felt hurt but wasnt surprised cuz of her bahviour during the past few years. It was a very special friendship for me and it took me very long time before I realized what was going on. I have been used a lot in that relationship and I think its time to move on without bitterness. Sometimes we learn so much from such relations that bitterness shouldnt be shadowing over the learnings.

9

Re: If a person stops talking/keeping in touch with you

send a person whom u trully trust to talk to the person, like your bro/sis/parent/best friend.

10

Re: If a person stops talking/keeping in touch with you

Then what's the method by which you can make that person talk with you again?

11

Well you shouldn't and can't force people to talk to you, be with you. It's their own choice in the end. It's just hurtfull for you if maybe that person has used you or if there was some other misunderstanding. But whatever, if you still want to keep contact and that other person doesn't, just let it go.

12

Re: If a person stops talking/keeping in touch with you

But how can one try to find out the reason behind their this behaviour?:hmmm:

13

Sometimes you can't. A few people stopped talking to me and didn't give me reason, there wasn't any fight either. Last contact seemed ok. They never told me why, when I asked them. You can't always know. When someone doesn't want your contact, just leave it as it is.

There are certain people whose behaviour is enough to know. I've helped friends by listening to their problems, going to their appointments with them, translating things for them, looking after their children, then when I was depressed, they stopped contact. So obviously they only wanted to be my friend to use me. That's also a way of knowing why they don't want your contact anymore.