what is the purpose behind iddat? and why doesn’t it apply for men as well? n what if the woman is the only breadwinner of the house and has to go out, is she, in such case, exepmted from iddat?
iddat = a widow has to stay in home after her husband dies and avoid contact with all na mehrams for 4 months and 10 days. she stays in her house and her kids or her family take care of her needs and all she does ibadat all the time.
Re: iddat
I have never heard the stay in home part but anyway.
Some argue that women have more emotions and need time to get over their ex. or late husband, but I don't think that is the main reason.
The main reason is to be sure she is not pregnent. These days there are tests (which themselves put a disclaimer that it is not fool proof) that will tell you in a day but then Islam is not only for those living in the west who can afford it all.
Re: iddat
It’s a desi concept, not an Islamic one.
In Islam, a widow is not permitted to marry for a period of days, so as to leave no doubt to society whether or not she is pregnant. For if she remarries immediately and gives birth 9 months later, how it avoids people wondering just who the daddy was.
Re: iddat
intelligent reply…very logical reason
Re: iddat
Yes it is true that Iddah is basically to determine the lineage of the father, or not for that matter.
This is a very cruel and unreasonable ritual, I tried to find an answer to this question, last year when my Father passed away and my mother had to Observe/Perform Iddah, but all I got was ridicule, and questions about my faith.
I did ask questions about the woman being the sole bread winner, 4 out of 10 people said that normally comminuties/Friends/family help out (which is BS). the widow should observe complete Iddah.
3 out of 10 said that as per the changes and adaptions of modern Islam, she should be allowed to earn a livelyhood, and support her children.
and believe me you the rest 3 didnt even know what Iddah was, I have to confess that there was a time in my life when I didnt know zilch about Iddah.
But having said that I have to say ie: my mother is 70 years old she stays with me, and that is the reason she could perform/observe the complete Iddah, God forbid if she had been in India at that time, (I cant even start to Imagine that).
What I am trying to say is
when we can compromise with taking Pictures (for Driving/Identity),
when we can compromise about Purdah/Hijab (modernisation/employment/latest trend/fashion),
when we can compromise on issues of Meher which once was considered a sacred amount given to the Bride to live on if her husband passed away (Iddah), or if she was divorced, (now a days in asia it has become a ritual just for name sake, and in the arab world it has become a bidding tool, and the highest bidder wins)
You know I can go on and on and on with examples and incidents and times when we have compromised when it was/is to our advantage (specially Men)
All im asking is Dont even compromise, JUST BE REASONABLE!!! I dont know if you folks have noticed but all compromises have been made only when the man benifits, but when the woman is concerned Hadits/Quotes/Examples/Ayahs/etc etc are quoted.
I would not wish Iddah on any one or anyones mother, but God forbid if it ever happens, you have my complete understanding, Sympathy (may be a wrong word), and if there is anything I can do please do PM me.
I try to stay away from Politics and Religion but just could not resist this issue, Sorry I think I got carried away, but hey thats me.
Aejaz.
Re: iddat
i was just wondering because i know of this widow, who is quite old and is observing iddat. if its just the matter of knowing about whether or not she is pregnant then iddat doesn't apply to old women i suppose?
Re: iddat
Okay, most companies would give time off to someon ewho was mourning, but lets just say, if a woman went back to work almost immediately, the ppl in her society wud assume that she did her boss and was pregnant with his child? Im sorry taht makes no sense..
I understand the mourning for three days part, and refraining from sex but... do ppl really think that even going to a store wud get her pregnant or somethiN???
Re: iddat
Islamically, she does not need to stay at home or anything. The obligation on her is simply not to marry another man until the prescribed time has elapsed. She’s free to go shopping, socialising, etc.
This thread should be moved to Culture forum, because what suroor is describing is a cultural innovation and not a religious obligation.
Re: iddat
Aside from what mad_scientist said I want to add one more thing what I've found out.
A woman still remain under the marriage for 4 months and 10 days after the death of her husband while that is not the case other way around. Hope that will fit in somewhere in the picture now.
Re: iddat
thank u guyz.