Iam fed upppppppppppppp!

Re: Iam fed upppppppppppppp!

Calmly give your parents a choice. Tell them that they can ...A) Respectfully decline the rishta and therefore spare everyone a great deal of misery, heartache, and far more grave consequences down the road.........OR.......B) They can risk taking you to Karachi where you will openly reject the rishta before your cousin's family and it will be a tamasha that nobody would appreciate.

In these situations, parents will try to wield their power through emotional blackmailing and threats...such as "What will the family say? We'll kick you out of the house if you refuse the rishta?" Well.....chances are they won't kick you out because that will only bring them badnami and desi parents are deathly afraid of that. As far as relatives being mad........if relos are forcing you to get married without any regard for your feelings....that means they don't respect you. And for such relos....I don't think you need to be too consumed with respecting them. Regarding threats of high blaaad pressure and other illnesses brought on by marriage refusals....................Health/Life/and Death are ultimately in Allah's hands. And YOU TOO can pretend to have lost your appetite and act the depressed zombi....as part of your own emotional manipulation.

I think things become a bit less scary when you can recognize the mind games. If you stand firm....eventually your parents will get tired of your stubborness and surrender. As for your cousin....I'm sure that even his parents have enough pride to drop the rishta of someone who is rejecting their son. Your parents will not keep you single forever. They will try to find SOMEONE ELSE for you.....and the next time they may look outside the family because they wouldn't want to go through the whole stinking tamasha again. And your cousin too will move on.

Venting on GS will provide some relief but won't really get you anywhere. You need to take action....you need to talk to your parents, to your cousin, to a relative who can argue on your behalf, and to your cousin's parents (if it gets to that stage.) None of this has to be permanent, Pinkyy. The question now is....are you strong enough?

Re: Iam fed upppppppppppppp!

errrr redvelvet, sorry i do not agree with option 2.

She should not go to Pakistan.
we dont know how forceful people will be, what sort of pressure would she be put under
and not knowing the place, the screwed up legal system, she will be on her own.

so to the OP, give the folks a warning, this is not happening, tell them no..by such and such date, or that you will send a no message to the guy directly and be done with it.

Re: Iam fed upppppppppppppp!

^Nothing to be sorry about . I'm hoping it wouldn't actually come to that, X2....and that they'd feel uneasy enough about imagining the possibility.....to just drop the matter.

Re: Iam fed upppppppppppppp!

I think from your post you mentioned being educated. Ask your parents WHY they educated you if they wanted you to marry someone that doesn't have the same education level. You're clearly going to be providing for the family (if you live abroad). They need to understand that you (if this is true...I might be making an incorrect assumption) reall don't like him FOR VALID REASONS and therefore you can still get a divorce because that's better than being in a miserable marriage. best of luck, dude.

Re: Iam fed upppppppppppppp!

^ Or dudette in her case ;)

Re: Iam fed upppppppppppppp!

Marriage is hard as it is and to marry someone who doesnt have that positive attitude and who thinks oh i'll marry so and so and make my life it just lame.

I would stick to my guns and not let anyone change ur mind. u know whats best for u.

good luck