Re: "I work so hard for my family!" - Dad
but, they do, Faisal.
as long as fathers are loving and also authoritative rather than authoritarian in their 'control' over the house hold, they are working their lives to support their families.
managing a whole house, bringing money home, year after year, not spending money on their own luxury, is a sacrifice which our fathers give for nobody else but us.
my concern even as an eldest daughter is this, that: if we have arguments with our parents, or fathers, specifically, they and we do not mingle other negative feelings or disappointments from issues that we have little control over and that amalgamated frustration should not become a baggage when we discuss something, and consult our fathers in other every day matters, or obstacles at work, at school, & those taking place, generally in the world.
parents are a blessing. when i argue back, i get very hurt myself. i feel guilty and i feel obligated to say a heart felt apology.
if parents re-count every time their sacrifice, the best thing u can do is politely respond by saying and "i am thankful for that to you", without any intonation of malaise and taunt.
they themselves will realize that u mean well and that as a son or anybody else, in this situation is not ingrate.
u can also turn the argument around say, " i so want to make happy memories in ur house hold, as long as we are together, so that we can all remember then once we have left ur nest."
parents are very loving, i know so.
they say things because they have learnt it or they fear the worst for us and in their idea of a good daughter or son may be total opposite from what we want to be as a son or daughter.
concluding it, i can safely say that confronting and doing so in a disrespectful way will get us no where. we are obligated. and we should feel this in a blessing way not as a tool for 'binding' us into doing things we are expected to do.
balance is the key. u might have to pick ur battles ar time, but never hurt back the parents by saying that their sacrifice of earning for us, for providing for us, does not matter. that reflects that we are ingrate and not care about them.
we are our parents old age security and investment, but they never expect that from us. they only want to have us grow into young responsible adults & i think it is not a bad thing. only difference is that we have to match out method of being independent with their expectations of ourselves while we become independent.
:)
dushwari
I have always felt the implications of this dialogue are perhaps not entirely true. The dialogue implies that if his family weren't there, "dad" may have worked less hours or may not be driven to work "so hard". Is that really true? Wouldn't there be an internal desire in every individual to be competitive and excel in his chosen profession? If the family weren't there, would a "dad" not want to and aspire to climb the corporate ladder, anyway?
I believe, and I may be wrong, that most of why people work long hours to get ahead in the rat race is an internal desire to "succeed" (however you want to define the word "success"). If thats the case, then just admit it. Why take your family on an unfair guilt trip?
