u guessed it right, i m very careless. bohat time table banayee
but cant help it. abb to buss Allah hy hai
hmmm jhatkey to mujhay lag chukkey hain bohat barey barey
k now my situation is do or die,
well thanks all for sharing ur thoughts
but i think i need some one now with me
a close friend or partner or my family with me
3 years of living abroad and alone has made my mind sick
i always feel alone and desperate for attention
lol, i have a friend which i hate more than an enemy now
he is so annoying and all ways pick on small things like a school kid
basically he is jealoused of me and always keep comparing me and try to make me feel bad abt my slef and keeps labling and making statments abt me.
i try to avoid him as best i could
kal, it was his birthday, i went for the party and i really wanted to kill him
there were few other paki boys as well who i met after abt 6 months
it was such a fun gathering except him…
aftari to sehry, discussed almost every thing from politics to life in pakistan, from corruption to bombings, from our child hood games to our current lives
i had a such a good time after so long long time
after sehry i came home and noticed that i was laughing after a long time, i mean laughing without a reason, their was a constant stupid smile at my face.
i left my best friend in perth and move d to canberra abt a year ago
that was an emotional and wrong decision
now cant go back and nither he can move to canberra
we talk on the phone for hours and remember the moments we spent together in perth. he and an other friend tried their best to stop me at that time but i was stupid enf not to listen to them. Achy cheez ke kader tub hoty hai jub wo app k pass na rehe. They moved on with their lives and now having fun in perth and ask me to come back. i went back to perth to see them during summer vacation in dec. spent 2 months. things were not like that. they had new friends and different attitude. it was not not what i left. well its my fault not their.
now i just burn in myslef alone, deep in my thoughts, live in dreams and memories. there is always too much stuff running thru my mind. i cant concentrate. In my lectures i just sit there but mind is always some where else. Ppl talk to me, apparently i m listening to them and go hmmm sorry what. I could spend a whole day with some one and next day i wont even know his name or what he was wearing. i cant concentrate on any thing. my mind is always lost . . . . and i dont know what to do . . . . . kuch acha nahy lagta, kissi cheez main dil nahy lagta. . . i have no goals and no passion left
i m lost 
and running