Why wasnt I warned about the 20s…youre still a student, yet an adult, the responsibilities are rising and your parents dont want to baby you anymore, but you cling with desperation anyway. You wonder whether youre in the right feel of study, you wonder if youll get the job you want and if your parents will proudly tell their friends, “my daughter is a …and works for …” You question your moral values, you question your faith, you wonder if youll ever become a parent, you wonder if youre going to be a good parent…you meet people from all walks of life and constantly compare yourself to others. At the same time youre maturing without realising it. You struggle to live up to others expectations, you feel as though youre in a paddle boat rocking with the waves…insecurity, insecurity…
You go out with your friends, laugh, crack stupid jokes but when you come back home you question everything you did and said that night.
Urghhh…I wish the 20s would go by quickly and I could be 40!!
then you d probablky wish you were 20 again :D
i wish i was four..na fikar na faaqa
catty my friend !! 'what you dont have you dont need now'
Re: I wish I was 40.
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*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
... but you cling with desperation anyway.
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Realization that you are clinging on is a step in the right direction. Start weaning yourself.
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You wonder whether youre in the right feel of study, you wonder if youll get the job you want
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That's normal.
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if your parents will proudly tell their friends, "my daughter is a ...and works for ..."
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Very unhealthy. Get over it.
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You question your moral values, you question your faith,
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Very healthy.
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you wonder if youll ever become a parent, you wonder if youre going to be a good parent...you meet people from all walks of life and constantly compare yourself to others. At the same time youre maturing without realising it. You struggle to live up to others expectations, you feel as though youre in a paddle boat rocking with the waves...insecurity, insecurity...
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Normal concerns.
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You go out with your friends, laugh, crack stupid jokes but when you come back home you question everything you did and said that night.
Urghhh...I wish the 20s would go by quickly and I could be 40!!
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Give yourself a few years and you'll accept your wise-a** side more easily. :D
I wish I was in my 20s again. But no longr being in 20's does have some positive points: maturity level is higher though not always evident, women prefer a guy in early 30s than someone who is still in 20s, "30s" sound mature, attracting single women in mid to late 20s is easier, career path is bright, bank accounts are getting larger.
HOWEVER, its downhill from here for the guys; we've reached and passed our prime.
Ahhhh :(
I dunno..I don't think most guys mature even in their 30's. I was beginning to think something was seriously wrong with me when I found the guys around me to be such immature morons for the most part. In fact I relate better to guys 20 - 30 yrs older then me?!
Anyhow I felt a lot better after sitting in the teacher's lounge one day and overhearing a bunch of female teachers complain about how hard it is to find a decent guy cause basically they were such idiots.. they had some pretty funny stories to tell.
I'm happy being the age I am now. I just wish I knew everything I did now when I was younger.
hmmmmmmm.....
I find that most guys in their early 20's talk about nothing but crap: main topic of the conversation being girls. GET OVER IT! So I find it difficult to relate with guys in their early to mid 20s. However, here is a confession: when I am with my friends who are in their 30's, we also talk about women but not in the same context as guys in their 20s.
waqas72, I've discovered that men mature as they are charged with more and more responsibility. Of course it may or may not apply to you or other men as it is only an observation. So far as the stories being told by the female teachers in the lounge are concerned, women are out of their minds! They would complain about being women if they could :p
I think I should hide after making that remark.
By the way, are you married yet? I am being hassled about it.
I agree that our mentalities change with age. As it applies to most people, we mature and become wiser, we have more life experiences, we become more picky and more (hopefully) sophisticated! However, there are people who never gorw up! Hypothetically there can be men in their mid-30s who are married 5-8 years, have kids, and cheat on their spouses left and right maintaining all along that they are single and are hip young men, drinking and partying around town. Yes there are people out there like that; hence the question becomes: Is this not all relative??? MOST people mature well with age (like fine wine I suppose) but certain others become downright despicable.
Gonna have to agree. I think maturity is conscious decision to become a better person... it doesn't just happen automatically by getting older and having more experiences.
The symptoms you are expressing.. being 40 won't change 'em. These are teen-age problems. In 20's you should know better what you want in life and work for that. Second-guessing yourself every step of the way is a complete waste of time.
catty dont go on to the what-ifs, its never a good sign :nono:
be happy with how far you’ve come and look ahead, never look back
Re: I wish I was 40.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
Why wasnt I warned about the 20s...youre still a student, yet an adult, the responsibilities are rising and your parents dont want to baby you anymore, but you cling with desperation anyway. You wonder whether youre in the right feel of study, you wonder if youll get the job you want and if your parents will proudly tell their friends, "my daughter is a ...and works for ..." You question your moral values, you question your faith, you wonder if youll ever become a parent, you wonder if youre going to be a good parent...you meet people from all walks of life and constantly compare yourself to others. At the same time youre maturing without realising it. You struggle to live up to others expectations, you feel as though youre in a paddle boat rocking with the waves...insecurity, insecurity...
You go out with your friends, laugh, crack stupid jokes but when you come back home you question everything you did and said that night.
Urghhh...I wish the 20s would go by quickly and I could be 40!!
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Catty looking at your pics on Image, I would be rather be 40 and you be 20.
Jokes apart Cat believe you me when you are 40 you are going to want to be 20.
ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN!!!!
Yeah tell me about it…i just recently waved 
good bye to my sweet teens…and turned 20. Time goes so fast, its not even funny. The years flew by and when i look back couple of years, i realized that as you enter in 20’s, you are seen as more responsible and expected to act more mature by pple around you. But cat-woman, you know what, isnt dat wat we thought when we turned eighteen. I also think about my future, faith and moral values and i think its completely normal because i dont think any of us really know what the future might bring. but we still got our parents, we still got our siblings, we are still learning and so what if we have to act a little mature now…dats also part of growing up rite. I do sometime miss those early teen years when you never cared about your future, you thought life always stay the same:halo: and etc but as you said, you still hang with your friends, go out, joke around:hula:…dont think about you have to be all serious…one day you would wish to see and experience your 20’s again. 
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*Originally posted by irem: *
i wish i was four..na fikar na faaqa
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me too, specailly . na fikar na faaqa wali thing. oh god kya zindghi thee, na koi zimedari, na koi parshani,
Catty, kuriye, chanda aapki tabiat theek hai??Maybe you have a fever???YOu want to be 40!!! 
I am 24 and I still think of myself as when iwas 19. I mean its not even funny for me, how quickly the time is passing by. 
Enjoy it while you can, chica!!!
dutch-paki, that will probably be the case!
Irem, sometimes I also wish I was 4!
Saby, for sure…I really believe in that statement!
LI, thanks for the break down and analogy. I have learnt so much about myself in the past year and have also become more confident about who I am. Nonetheless, I still have a lot to learn!
FP, guys think that way? I thought men only got better after 30! They always look sexier, thats for sure! I think men only really mature when they get married and have their first child!
Sweetpie and Waqas, youre both right, maturity doesnt necessarily come with age, but I wish I didnt have to worry about the future!
Xara, definitely, thanks.
Aejaz bhai, why would you rather me be 20 and you 40? 
I think Im enjoying myself a bit too much. This honeymoon will soon be over in a month and I need to get back to work!
Faisal bhai, why thanks for your encouraging words. Youre so sweet. 
Faiseljawed, welcome to the 20s and good luck! Im 23 now, turning 24 this year and only now do I feel 20-something. At 20 I still felt like I was 18!
Ira I know, its just that I have this stupid masters thesis to write when I get back home, and Im dreading it terribly!
Cat,
Definitely, men do mature considerably when they have their first child and even more so if the child is a girl. My mother tells me stories of how my dad attitude changed when my sister was born, how he became over protective of her, and how he used to cry if my sister cried. Even now the first question asked by dad upon setting foot inside the house after work is, how are my girls? Did they eat? Keep in mind one of them is already married with a boy of her own :p
And to touch upon the other points, men DO get better with age without a doubt. All of my friends who are in their very late 20's and early 30's act so much differently then when we were in our teens and even early to mid 20s. Of the entire group of five guys, only one is 29, all are married and I am the only one who is still unmarried, unengaged. This brings me to answer your question about guys talking about women: when my friends talk about women, its usually to drive me to get married. They'd tell me that they saw a nice kashmiri girl at this party or their mother saw a kashmiri girl at an aunty's house or that my mother wants to talk to your mother about some parents who are looking for a rishta (larki gori hie, parhi likhi hie, namaaz parti hie, lekin kashmiri nahi hie). In another words, other then trying to find a nice wife for me, women are not a major part of our conversations, the way it used to be when I was 19.
^I can totally relate, however from a girl’s perspective. I am 29 and about to turn 30 so whenever my female and guy friends, both married and unmarried ones, have conversations now, it is basically to try to hook me up with someone who they know (ex. a decent, educated man who looks nice, has a good family background, and well a punjabi is always a plus). Back in our teens and college days, our conversations always revolved around who is going out with who, when the next Pakistani Association event-- “mela” or “fashion show” is being held, or who is talking about who behing who’s back (gossip!) But now, some of my married friends, especially with kids, seem to always be talking about how this child of theirs is sick, what to make for dinner for hubby, when they’re giving a dinner party next and who are they inviting, etc. My unmarried pals (very few who are left) are in the same boat as me, trying to concentrate on doing well in life in terms of education, profession, etc. but also trying to find a decent, honorable, and capable individual to settle down with.
Furthermore, it’s a double whammy for those of us born and raised in this country (U.S.) because we always seem to want more and are never satisfied but this is one area I am working on right now–to appreciate what God has already blessed me with (which by anyone’s standards is alot) but to always continue striving for more (there isn’t anything wrong with wanting and working towards something more in life than what one already is blessed with).
Thats funny yaar!
I totally agree!
Marriage is something that I usually don't think about, not that I wouldn't mind getting married but rather I don't stress myself about it. Some people think that is not healthy for a man my age not to think about marriage but concentrate on the carrer path and persue another post-graduate degree. Particularly the imam of the local masjid whom I've known for 20 years seems to be more concerned about the subject matter than my parents.