It’s a very good friend of mines birthday today so him and his friends had organised a party last night for everyone. Now I don’t like going to their parties because it’s not my scene. He asked me yesterday afternoon if I was coming and I said “Is it going to be another drunken brawl? I’m sorry I don’t do those kind of parties anymore.” And he just gave me a blank stare as did everyone else sitting at the table. I didn’t even go to the party for 5 minutes even. Apparantly he was really upset and said to someone, this goes to show who your real friends are. I feel soo **** for having said that. But its true I dont like going to their parties coz they act like immature twats. Was it so wrong of me to say that? He has been there for me through hell and high water and I couldn’t even go to his bday party for 2 minutes. I feel crap. But I’ve got him a card n a present, will it make up for it?
I may not have the majority opinion, but I will state mine.
I feel that you asked him a question and then didnt give him a chance to answer it. He may have said that its not going to be the usual drunken brawl. You said it infront of his friends, which may have been better said whilst others were out of earshot.
I feel that just because he is your good friend, does not mean you have to attend every hoo-haa he ever puts on. I think you should have explained why it is you no longer like to attend such functions, and that you would attend others where such activities werent going to be present.
I have told friends the same thing, and although they tend to debate the matter, and dont really like it, if they are good friends, they are understanding.
I believe that talking about it will be a better solution than buying him things to make him happy, as its his feelings that are affected. It probably wont hurt though.
Just my two cents.
I dont think you should of said that. Seems like you both were very good friends...and in friendships u gotta sacrifice stuff...maybe if u wanted to make up for ur mistake u can host him a surprise party with the same people he invited. If i were in his position id really think it was nice of u...well thats my opinion.
hm,a nice comforting word wid da card n present would do:) but u didnt need to diss im,n da environment he enjoys.
That was something I had done in my first year here as a certified f.o.b.
This white guy I had been working with on a project for quite a while now was throwing a party to some 80+ people for god knows what reason. anyways he found the decency to invite me and I started telling him with all flair and grandeur that I do not drink and it wouldnt be anything that i'd enjoy.
he just sat there blanked out while another guy who was listening just staring at us. he didnt mind much cuz it didnt mean much to him anyways but still the point being made (and the lesson i learnt later on is) if you do not want to be part of such an event, say yes and just call up at the last moment and explain you had an emergency of some sort.
cat-woman dont wear yourself out on expensive presents. just make him some halva puri and he'll be latto over all you again in no time.
by the way, feline to K9 ? whats next?
Well I think you guys are right. Thanks for your comments and opinions. Went to see him today. I didn't apologise for what I said (it's a pride thing) but I wished him happy birthday, gave him his present and I sat and chatted to his friend for 15 minutes before I left. He didn't seem to be upset with me. Ironically, the present I gave him was a windhoek lager keychain. :)
cheegum, these claws are very sharp. ;-)
i dont thin u did anything wrong. if u dont like to goto parties like tat then he should understand. really its not ur fault nor his and there fore no one has the right to be mad ant anyone. so dont worry. u did nuthin wrong
Re: I was a real bitch.
two words… lap dance… :k: ..
Re: Re: I was a real bitch.
i think you’ll be a bit too heavy for his lap
Re: Re: Re: I was a real bitch.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by cHEeGUm: *
i think you'll be a bit too heavy for his lap
[/QUOTE]
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I seriously think people need to respect their friends. This is your choice not to go in to places which doesnt suit your personality etc :)
And he needs to respect that. I think you should sit down with him and tell him how you feel. And if he is a true friend which he does seems like he would understand :)
chee :D refusing the invitation to parties where people are drinking doesnt make one a fob. I got invited to party which was organized by my supervisor and i explained how i don't like it. She understood.
:) What the hell hijabn would do in middle of creeps dancing *yikes NO way :p
agree with nia :k:
just woondering.....
...how can catty be bitchy?
^ 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by monasha: *
just woondering.....
...how can catty be bitchy?
[/QUOTE]
????
ask gamma why.....he understood!
Catty, you ARE such a bitch, but don’t worry, I’d forgive ya. 
i wonder why this useless post is in the family and health forum, it should be moved to general forum. But if you look at it in a different angle maybe it deserves to be in the family and health forum. Its possible cat womans mental health was affected because she didnt attend her guy friends party.
lol malibu dude.
A few misguided words apparently made a bigger impact than five minutes of a courtesy show at his party would've. I've been in similiar situations many a time. My solution is to show up before they're too inebriated, do my "hi, hellos," and excuse myself quietly later.
As for your slip-up, I don't think any person would appreciate being called a hooligan (or be implied as one) in front of his friends as a reward for a birthday invitation. Apologies, a present and future sensitivity are in order.