I want an Answer 4rm Scholars about marriage

Society Religion & Philosophy
1

Hi, all asslam-0-alaqum

I have a question to ask 4rm scholars, islamic teacher, alamedeens, sistsers plz refer to Quranic ayats, Hadeah

" A muslim friend of mine need help/information, she is a well educated, and brought up in the islamic family. During her education and job people use to ask question about her religion. During that time a man/Colleague(non-muslim) was interested in the religon and wanted to convert to islam. Few months he spent time learing & know how of islam. During this she started to have feelings for him, that was a mistake she mentioned to her family and they all got Furious and angry. They said to her thats it you are going back to home country and gonig to get married to a respectable man"

“all arguments and discussion happened within her family, one day they said to her pack few cloths we are going out, never told her where they going. they went back home. this girl did not knew her family intensions but when she came to know again she tried to resist but when no use”

one day she was told to come a pay visit to this family, she was told to dress nicely, went to the family house all the family members were there they all had a good look @ the girl when they finsihed boy walked in spent 5 min and walked out. when this girl’s family came back to thier house they said to my friend that we have decided to marry you to this guy, she rejected and said there are other there to look @ who are much nicer. this was taken as a no and they said only reason u are saying no because you wana marry that other guy. she explained again @ least she should be given time.

“Nikkah was done forcefully, they made her say yes for the sake of family and traditions” she never knew this guy, met her for 5min and out of those 5 min she even did not knew his name. She was there @s a bride night of the wedding, when that guy came to the room sat down she started to honest with him, she said to him look i don’t know you is it possible i can have some time to know to you, @ 1st he was bit annoyed but then he realised being 1st night. 2nd nite samething happend but he said you are my wife, she again said but i need time to know you, he went freious, he said “i love you” u are my wife she did tried to expalin to him to give her time but no use he was thinking somthing else…**“HE DID WHAT HE WANTED TO THAT NIGHT & NEXT” ** It was out of order all what she asked for sometime to know him, this all led to further arguments. situation at the moment is

  • She has left the courntry back to her parents because she still not accept this marriage
  • She feel gulity of spending time with him with out knowing
  • After six months she actually realized his real name (only knew with his nick name)
  • Her family blames her for being not responsible
  • They say u have not tried to keep this marriage
  • She has to attend 6 months consultation from both medical & psycoligist due to dpression and hassrsment
  • She had to drop her job just coz she could not concentrate
  • she get bullied buy her family for making the life missrible

Questions are??

Q1. Is that a real Marriage (Nikkah)???
Q2. Is she bound to live with her husband??
Q3. According to Islamic View what is the solution??
Q4. What is the punishment for this act? and if not her fault how can she clear her sins??
Q5. Who will be blamed?? and who is responsible?
Q6. What is Islam allows in respect to women rights?
Q7. where possible this women or family contact?

Please provide all the possible answer in the eyes of Islam with reference thank you

2

I am sure you will get few very good responses from here inshallah. But my two cents are

A1. Nikah seemed valid, since she said yes.
A2 & A3. Since it was done under threat, I think she can go to any Islamic or non-Islamic court and file a case for annulment, and she can take Khulaa.

A4. There can be punishment if there where criminal acts involved. As far as sin, from what you have written, there is no obvious sin, but Allah knows best.

A5. Her parents are responsible for all this.

A6. Islam and women right will open up a Pandora box here. But in case of Nikah the rules are very clear. Often undermined in name of family and tradition. But in no way parents can force their adult children into Nikah with out their consent.

3

[QUOTE]
A1. Nikah seemed valid, since she said yes.
[/QUOTE]

nikkah is only valid if she says yes happily according to proper law??

4

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by muazzam: *
nikkah is only valid if she says yes happily according to proper law??
[/QUOTE]

"Proper Law" always varies by fiqh. A marriage that is valid according to Hanafi proper law may not necessarily be valid according to Hanbali or Shafi'i proper law. For example, Hanafi fiqh allows a virgin to be married without her wali's permission but Hanbali fiqh does not.

However, on a note more related to your query, I offer the following.

Consent: ‘Aishah (R) asked Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) if womem must be asked for their permission of marriage. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) replied, "Yes". She said, ‘The virgin is asked for her permission but she gets shy. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Her silence is her permission." (Bukhari and Muslim).

If your friend did not want to get married, she should have simply said "no" when asked at the nikkah is she accepted the guy as her husband. Saying yes, or maintaining silence, made the marriage fully valid.

5

read the hadith carefully. the girl was silent because she was shy.

over here there was coercion.

6

All it says here is that they made her say yes for the sake of family and tradition. It implies that they tried to offer her reasons (family and tradition), and she was weak-willed enough to float along even though she didn't really want it.

At the end of the day, she could have demonstrated more spine and stood up to her family and said NO. But she did not do that. She did not get forced to marry at gunpoint, or under pain of death or something if otherwise. Her family clearly managed to persuade her to take the decision to agree get married, albeit a decision she was not happy taking.

Fact based on what the original post contained: She AGREED to marry the man so as to please her family. Her marriage would thus be valid.

7

http://www.islamfortoday.com/ruqaiyyah04.htm

8

First of all she should have resisted when they tried to take her back to her Home country (Pak/ any). If she didnt know at the begining where they were taking her is understandabel but once they were at the airport its not that hard to figure it out, also as it was already discussed in her family as well.

2ndly as its being said earlier she would have said no at the time of nikah.

3rdly if she was able enough to leave her husband and country after her marriage why didnt she tried this before her marriage.

any way, it was not all her parents mistakes and as she was weak mentally and emotionaly they just broke her down.

Questions are??

Q1. Is that a real Marriage (Nikkah)???
yes

Q2. Is she bound to live with her husband??
No. if she dont wont to there is no court of law which can stop her. apply for Khulla and she should get it.

Q3. According to Islamic View what is the solution??
Khullah.

Q4. What is the punishment for this act? and if not her fault how can she
clear her sins??
Dont know (human rights violation act) and if not her fault they why she has to clear her sins ?????

Q5. Who will be blamed?? and who is responsible?

Both Girl and her parents. and both.

Q6. What is Islam allows in respect to women rights?

Wait for a schoolors reply

Q7. where possible this women or family contact?

no idea.

9

I'd still like to see how "nikkah was made forcefully, they made her say yes". What was stopping her from saying "no"?

As someone mentioned here, the easiest way out of this is khula. This has been done by a number of women in my family who were deprived of their Islamic rights by their husbands, including shortly after marriage.

Q1. Is that a real Marriage (Nikkah)???
Sounds like she was very strongly persuaded to say yes, so sounds like nikkah was valid. If she was physically forced to say yes, then the situation may be different.

Q2. Is she bound to live with her husband??
Get khula and she's freed of any legal ties to him.

Q3. According to Islamic View what is the solution??
Khula or divorce. He's unlikely to grant a divorce, and given that she's lived away from him for several months it is unlikely that she will be able to prove the physical mistreatment she suffered and get a court to issue a divorce. Khula is her best bet because this would allow to unilaterally end the marriage. Bear in mind, though, that by khula she will forego her mehr. By divorce, she would be allowed to keep it.

Q4. What is the punishment for this act? and if not her fault how can she
clear her sins??
What sin has been committed? Does not appear to be any sin by her, though I may be wrong (and may Allah SWT forgive me if I am wrong on any of this)

Q5. Who will be blamed?? and who is responsible?

Society will blame girl and parents, probably blame the parents more. As for responsibility, the girl is responsible, her parents are responsible, the guy is responsible, and the guy's parents are responsible.

Q6. What is Islam allows in respect to women rights?

Huge volume of literature out there. Google search it would be best.

Q7. where possible this women or family contact?

What do you mean?