It is idiotic and irresponsible to marry a stranger.
What are your thoughts?
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Sahar, marry me? pretty please?
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Teehe! 
Since you asked so nicely, okay!
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Are you talking about desi arranged marriages or something more akin to Russian mail order brides?
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OFC it is. But is part of our great culture. The same culture that's supposed to make us a superpower any day now!
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It is idiotic and irresponsible to marry a stranger.
What are your thoughts?
The same..
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It is idiotic and irresponsible to marry a stranger.
What are your thoughts?
While it has worked for some people....it's not something I would follow myself or recommend to others. Marriage is a risk....it's a gamble....even if you know the person well (marry you high school sweetheart, or dated for a several months or years). BUT.........it's a **GREATER **gamble when you marry a complete stranger. And to **willingly **create a BIGGER risk for yourself......(when you do have the option to reduce it somewhat)....does seem reckless.
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Are you talking about desi arranged marriages or something more akin to Russian mail order brides?
Arranged marriages don't have to be between complete strangers, but yes, that's what I meant. Not the mail-order stuff.
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agree
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At least with the mail-order stuff they still get to 'speak' to each other (sort of)..
Marrying someone u've never seen or talked to is crazy, tho obviously u can't blame those who had no other choice..
My dad was asked if he wanted to talk to my mum before he went ahead and married her and he said 'no' (said he didn't even have the guts to look at her), we always wind him up and ask what would he have done if she'd had a beard or was 40-stone or something..
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It is idiotic and irresponsible to marry a stranger.
What are your thoughts?
Can you please define 'stranger' before asking the question?
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awesome. it’s a deal. so, how much jahez do I get?
on a serious note, my concern is slightly different - how much can you really learn about a person even if you do meet them and talk to them etc in the new arranged introduction setups? people obviously put their best foot forward in these situations. you can have an extended engagement, meet often, exchange views etc. but you won’t get to know the real person until you’re living with them - by which time of course it is too late. it’s actually pretty scary.
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Diwana: Well, someone who I have never met directly. Someone whose family and friends I have not met either, or at least not well. Really, I would for myself want more interaction than just one meeting, but I would expect at least one, and with some familiarity with the friends/family/home.
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awesome. it's a deal. so, how much jahez do I get?
on a serious note, my concern is slightly different - how much can you really learn about a person even if you do meet them and talk to them etc in the new arranged introduction setups? people obviously put their best foot forward in these situations. you can have an extended engagement, meet often, exchange views etc. but you won't get to know the real person until you're living with them - by which time of course it is too late. it's actually pretty scary.
As rv said, the risk is always there in any relationship. But I think you can at least deal with some questions/concerns ahead of time, before making such an important commitment!
I mean people agonize over the tiniest details of their weddings for months (if not years), but will give a quick "haan" to someone they only know as a resume.
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although im the shy type, and didnt think i cud have a normal conversation with my fiance before marriage ( since it was arranged) my fiance blatantly refused to not have any interaction with me before marriage, so we asked for my mothers permission to meet and all, and im glad i did end up having a relationship with him , there is openness and trust and no awkwardness at all, which wouldnt have been the case had we not talked before hand.
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It is idiotic and irresponsible to marry a stranger.
What are your thoughts?
Diwana: Well, someone who I have never met directly. Someone whose family and friends I have not met either, or at least not well. Really, I would for myself want more interaction than just one meeting, but I would expect at least one, and with some familiarity with the friends/family/home.
If you define stranger this way then yes it can be a recepie for potential problem.
However, if one takes the opposite scenario, of seemingly knowing someone with the time spent, one can still be wrong and get breakups, heartache and sorrow.
There is just no ideal scenario and best one can do is to find the match based on few essentials depending on the priorities one sets in his or her life.
These could be profession, education, cultural/religious backgraound and looks good enough to be attracted, etc.
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although im the shy type, and didnt think i cud have a normal conversation with my fiance before marriage ( since it was arranged) my fiance blatantly refused to not have any interaction with me before marriage, so we asked for my mothers permission to** meet and all**, and im glad i did end up having a relationship with him , there is openness and trust and no awkwardness at all, which wouldnt have been the case had we not talked before hand.
So you think by meeting and all this person changed his/her personality?
While you may or may not think like that, the person would have been the same regardless you ended up meeting and all. It is just that you felt comfortable with meeting and all and agreed to be with this person. Overall, still it was a luck of a draw.
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So you think by meeting and all this person changed his/her personality?
While you may or may not think like that, the person would have been the same regardless you ended up meeting and all. It is just that you felt comfortable with meeting and all and agreed to be with this person. Still it was a luck of a draw.
meeting him did not change him at all, i believed him to be a good person from the start, knowing him just proved that and satisfied me and him as well, because we knew we had made the right decision. but not everyone is as lucky, so yeah i do think couples should have some interaction before they tie the knot to know if theyre making the right decision or not.
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meeting him did not change him at all, i believed him to be a good person from the start, knowing him just proved that and satisfied me and him as well, because we knew we had made the right decision. but not everyone is as lucky, so yeah i do think couples should have some interaction before they tie the knot to know if theyre making the right decision or not.
Yes. It only made you more 'comfortable' of your decision. He could still have been same if you had not met him and all. Exactly my point.
It is interesting to note you believed him to be a good person 'before' you met him and all.
'Lucky' you that it turned out to be correct. Congratulations and best wishes for future. :)
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Pickup that phone talk to that person and you are no more stranger. How difficult it is to get acquainted to anyone in this day and age ?
I do not want to make it sound so short a process but it is the start. You can take it to the level of your own liking. No ?