I see this as a lack of self respect

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

@ajuba

In my opinion a MIL does not have the right to come and stay at her son’s house for month’s at a time, just for a holiday. I think it is very inconsiderate, especially if the DIL has plainly made it clear that she does not like having her around. Seriously, a month to two month’s should be the max. what do you guys think? do your parents have the right to camp out at your home like this? Is it unreasonable of your wife to have a problem with it? For me personally, I will never do this and neither would my mum. So, I think my MIL has a lack of self respect for staying somewhere for such long periods of time where she knows she’s not wanted. And what about this desi mentality that MILs never stay for long periods at their own daughters homes because they don’t want to upset the husband. why doesn’t the same courtsey and consideration extend to your DILs??

From her perspective, it is also her son’s place. So she can visit him and live there. It is clearly inconsiderate because she knows her DIL doesn’t want her there. That doesn’t look like a self-respect issue, but maybe enforcing her right over her son.

Now, things can get difficult if the DIL is supposed to do everything for her. That would obviously cause more friction between the couple and DIL and MIL.

That is a good point you raise about the courtesy towards SIL’s but that same courtesy not being extended towards DILs. I don’t know. Maybe because there is this belief that men “rule” the household. So, even if the wife doesn’t want the MIL there, the husband can still bring mom over and the wife will have to deal with it. From the same logic, if wife’s mom was over and the husband didn’t like it, he can pressure the wife and make things difficult for her. In this case, the wife is the daughter, so they care more about her being unhappy.