[quote="Doppleganger"]
Are you in a mirpuri / punjabi family? It is really $*F up on how many pakistani families operate in the west especially UK.
Exactly that I am
[/QUOTE]
I'm so sorry coffee girl I wish I had more sound advice but it's no different than what people have posted.
^ out of curiosity, what is muripui? How did you guess that's where her family was from/is? Is that normal behavior from those famillies?
Re: I need to offload
But that's the thing, my mum refuses to go with me
You are going to have to convince her, try being too emotional with her. always works with mothers. :p
........
Re: I need to offload
As everyone has advised you: Leave and dont look back! Bring your mother and sisters. Back your stuff and give your mother an ultimatum. She has become weak after so much abuse and she needs someone to make the decision and actually do it for her.
So just start packing when your dad isnt home and TELL your mum that you are leaving and you are taking her with you!!
WTF I get so angry to read about such cases. Your father has NO right whatsoever to reat you like that. You live in UK and not in some random village in Pakistan that you need to think twice!
Mirpuris have been living in the UK for generations on end…marrying within families to move relatives to the UK. Generally the UK xhixk marries the the guy in Pak. They’re huge on cousin marriages etc. It’s like transporting a rural village with majority backwards thinking to the UK. If i’m not mistaken…largest Mirpuri population is in/around Bradford, UK. Two of my cousins (sisters) are married to guys living in the UK (Leeds) and know loads of families from Mirpur and i hear stories like this from them all the time. It’s sad.
Oh and Mirpuriis are basically from Mirpur, Kashmir/Pak.
My advice to the OP is to convince your mom using yoursrmelf and siblings. Mothers will bend over backwards for the safety and well-being of their children. Good luck, I hope everythinf works out for you.
Re: I need to offload
Girl you need to get out of there. I know this will seem harsh but do not worry about your mom's feelings at this time. Do whatever you need to do,to get your sisters out of that house. Emotionally guilt your mom, scream, cry whatever but do it. Your mom has failed at protecting you and your sisters, so her feelings matter the least.
You need to go.
Also I would thoroughly consider getting your dad kicked out of the house, considering the deeds are in your name. You may be able to support your siblings better if you have a place to live.
Your dad sounds awful so don't worry about being fair to him, worry about protecting your sisters they are the only innocents (along with you) in all this.
Re: I need to offload
Just thought I would update you all, my father can go through extreme mood swings and that was the one mood swing which made him do all the above. The very next day, my dad apologized to my mum and alhumdulillah we haven't had any major dispute in the family since then. My mum has also made him see sense about the proposal and my dad realizes that its a stupid idea.
On top of that, I have managed to get a job which my dad has also agreed to. So all in all, at the moment life is alright. But thank you so much for all the advice and I will keep it in mind just in case dad decides on something else or has another drastic mood swing.
The issue is also with me, I love my dad too much.
Re: I need to offload
Just thought I would update you all, my father can go through extreme mood swings and that was the one mood swing which made him do all the above. The very next day, my dad apologized to my mum and alhumdulillah we haven't had any major dispute in the family since then. My mum has also made him see sense about the proposal and my dad realizes that its a stupid idea.
On top of that, I have managed to get a job which my dad has also agreed to. So all in all, at the moment life is alright. But thank you so much for all the advice and I will keep it in mind just in case dad decides on something else or has another drastic mood swing.
The issue is also with me, I love my dad too much.
Mood swings? What if it happens again? You should probably take your father to a psychologist
Re: I need to offload
I think I remember reading somewhere that UK has the highest rate of forced marriages. Did you know there is a Forced Marriage Unit in the UK? Check out this link: Forced marriage - GOV.UK and no matter what happens, NEVER let your parents force you to marry anyone. If you let them ruin your life, you will have no one to blame but yourself. Take charge of your own life, even if it means going against their wishes.