I need help, advice.

[Paheli00]

Re: I need help, advice.

@xyraxyra123

My older son is 18, the other is 16, and they are well aware of what is going on. They love their grandparents, and I feel they are being made to choose.
They asked the older one to visit Pakistan for a month, he said “no”.
They asked him “why not?”
He said “because I don’t want to”

1. After 20 years of marriage, you already know that your in-laws will not change. Let him say whatever they want. As the saying goes…in one ear and out the other.

2. At 18 and 16, your sons are old enough to make the decision on their own as to to whether they want to visit Pakistan and for how long. You just need to let your sons know that you will support whatever decision they make on their own. Don’t bash your husband’s family or bring the sons into the drama. Just let them know that you are on their side, and they don’t have to do anything they’re not comfortable with. Looks like the 18 year old already has decided he’s not going. THEY asked him to choose and he chose to stay in U.S. Hopefully the 16 year old will follow in his footsteps.

3. What did your husband say about the 18 year old refusing to go to Pakistan for a month? Has your husband himself told you anything negative/nasty regarding this? Has he been upset/mad at you for this?