http://lifestyle.msn.com/mindbodyandsoul/womenintheworld/articlemc.aspx?cp-documentid=5672586
What do you think:)?
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
I think she just described the fantasy life...I kept waiting for the "but" that was going to come, that he was abusive or they were poor or something else, but surprisngly there wasn't...
I think it maybe has to do with attitude..? There are a few things that she skims over, such as the loneliness and the small space as well as the constant houseguests, but i still don't see that "BUT" that i was expecting at the beginning of the article.
Maybe htere is no "but" and she is truly content with her lifestyle and enjoys all the little changes.... i totally believe her story, no doubt, but i think its very rare that such good matches are made, and she got very lucky and she sounds like she knows it and is content w/ her decision/fate in life and that's really refreshing to read. Unfortunately i don't believe that's always what happens when men marry women from pakistan/india, that hte women come here and lead charming lives.
Re: “I Married a Total Stranger”…Article on arranged marraiges:)
U can imagine as to why her article is like that…its for Gora readers:cb:
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
I love what she said here and I totally agree with her in terms of arranged marriages:
As Indian women gain financial independence, it is inevitable that we will see fewer arranged marriages — and maybe that's too bad. **I firmly believe that our marriage works because it is blessed and supported by our families. The strength we get from their advice (solicited and unsolicited) helps us overcome difficult times. Had I found my own mate, I'm sure my parents would have come around, but I'd have to live knowing that they wouldn't be truly emotionally invested in the success of the marriage. *
I've come to believe it's not so much how you get hitched but what you do with your relationship that matters. Although my husband doesn't always agree with his opinionated and selectively liberated wife, he openly expresses his love.
*
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
Ok somehow i missed this part but i liked the way she ended it:
[quote]
I've come to believe it's not so much how you get hitched but what you do with your relationship that matters. Although my husband doesn't always agree with his opinionated and selectively liberated wife, he openly expresses his love. Back home, couples don't even hold hands on the street. Here, well, couples do a lot more than that. India may have found me a husband, but America showed me how much fun it is to be his wife. Power to my parents for arranging this union.
[/quote]
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
I'd say power to her parents for arranging with a guy living in states, if he was living in India, she might not have experienced all the fun it is to be that guy's wife.
Re: “I Married a Total Stranger”…Article on arranged marraiges:)
Article says :
Most Americans have sex on the third date. I married my husband after meeting him for the third time
she is quite American innit 
one way or other 
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
So ladies , is it good to marry some one from pakistan/india and bring her over?
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
Nice article -- very well-written.
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
I don't understand why people make such a big deal about arranged marriages. It's another thing if you're FORCED into it, but alot of the weddings take place with both parties consent and they are VERY successful. Infact, I am sure that even most of your parents have had arranged marriage and they are quite happy even after so many years. It's just a stupid concept in the west where they feel like you're oppressed if you let your parents find you a boy. Like this stupid cable guy came to set up our internet and my parents got upset because they didn't want me setting up cable in my room. On his way out, he addressed me like he thought I was some prisoner since I chose to live with my parents and asked me, "I want to give you my number but I am hesitant because I think your parents will find you a boy to marry.. isn't that the case in your culture". I was so taken aback! I then told him something which was REALLY shocking to him: "I am engaged and I picked my OWN husband, thank you very much. Infact I have been dating him since high school and my parents have had no issues." Personally I did not go for an arranged marriage but I probably would have if I had not been with someone since my teen years. I just think that not only people in the west but also general desis who make a big deal about arranged marriages should grow up. It works for alot of people!
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
^ yea thats exactly what i was thinking too, she writes very well, not in the stilted or verbose style most writers educated in india and pakistan write in
it was a nice feel good story- i was actually impressed at how "selectively liberated" she is- willing to try new things but also keeping the more important traditional values and attitudes, its a difficult balance to strike but it seems like she's done a good job!
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
i like how she painted a nice picture of the arranged marriage and perhaps it is true that arranged marrieages arent' always a recipe for disaster...if one thing iv'e learned, and she sums it up perfectly, it doesnt matter how the marriage happened, after teh saath pheres or the qabool hai, its up to the two ppl to decide if they wanna make it owrk or not
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
it sounds so perfect- i'm glad she's happy but i also think shes one of the exceedingly lucky ones. i'm sure all of us know girls who've married like she has and not all of them find the perfect mate. marriage to someone you know and love can be so stressful at times, marrying someone you only met three times, i cant even imagine!
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
There is no such thing as perfect mate in reality. Everyone has their goods and bads. Marriage no matter love or arranged is only successful when both the partners are willing and able to bend themselves and make compromise. Anyway, I agree with you that marrying a person you have met only couple times is pretty scary thing. I would also prefer marrying a person I somewhat know and am comfortable with.
Alyish: It depends on your prefrences. Anyway, I am not a big supporter of guys going back home to find pious wives (as if all the desi girls overseas are sluts) but then I guess those guys are not meant for us, we are better off without them.
Re: “I Married a Total Stranger”…Article on arranged marraiges:)
Ok I just have to say it…U r basically saying that arranged marraiges r perfect for everyone…just not you:cb:
Re: “I Married a Total Stranger”…Article on arranged marraiges:)
Such a me me story. I think she found the richest lad on the bolck and everything fades away 
"too fat, too boring, too short. "
Isn’t this superficial? What this has to do with connection?
Unbelieveable…just I did this my hubby has this that…i got this…did that on wedding… waste of time.
Re: “I Married a Total Stranger”…Article on arranged marraiges:)
as I said …written for gora audience…glorified for em like saying to them…
…our marraige style better then yours:cb:
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
Ask, i'm sure if it was written for a desi audience, there'd be so much more "meat" to the story..but hey at least she didn't diss our culture in writing for the gora mag. (it happens!)
Re: “I Married a Total Stranger”…Article on arranged marraiges:)
goooood point!
i think she’s trying to emphasize that she did have a choice in the process and hence turned down 1001 guys, and when the right guy came along, it was a no-brainer, and therefore arranged marriages are great. 
its sort of naive.
Re: "I Married a Total Stranger"...Article on arranged marraiges:)
before I used to be completely against arranged marriages and thought "love" marriages should be the only way to go. Actually now, after seeing how successful my brother's marriage and a lot of my friends' marriages are which were all arranged by parents or family, i've changed my way of thinking.
many times couples that have had "love" marriages completely and only depend on that love for a successful marriage and usually forget about the respect and care that is also necessary. some of these marriages that i've seen have had lots of problems.
so i do agree with the writer in that it doesn't matter how the two people end up meeting and marrying but how the two treat each other after getting hitched and whether they are bringing that respect, care and love into the relationship