I try to avoid such questions by displacing the topic some where else but my mother is too sweet to be able to escape of such direct questioning & commenting. It disturbs me why people intervene so much. Some times its for generic information but some times when they get into nitty gritty details its obvious they are trying to judge or conclude some thing. My father’s side doesnt get into specs but via some general family talk they came to know me & siblings salary and guess what? We even got to hear about that same amount number from relatives living abroad some where ..“Oh My God, falaan falaaan masha Allah makes this much money!” .. Firstly, dont ask. If you do get to know some family’s personal details, keep them to yourself. I am a firm believer of Nazar Lagna and such comments scare me really! Its not really about salaries or grades but its every thing - Why did my brother’s susral walas not send suits to us, why did she not bring this item in the jahaiz .. Its annoying! Me & my siblings hate such money minded talks. We ourselves dont want my brother’s in laws to be gifting stuff to our entire tabbar. Why the extra expenditure for the larki-walaz just to make our relatives happy? We are happy and thats what all matters. They even notice what kind of clothes the susraleez were wearing, what quality gifts they gave, how they behaved with each of us, why falaan falaan uncle wasnt too participative. My brother’s in laws wanted a simple function and they told us that and when we came back from the function what we heard was can they not afford some thing better? Even if they were or werent why SAY such things. People love to open the pendora box in front so that such negative views come in our mind too. Till now such comments do not make a difference to me or my family, but if they keep going on i know these will put negative ideas in our heads.
They are well educated people and such extra criticism and intervention shouldnt be happening because we dont do it. Never have we asked what their son earns. We dont care! But why do people care so much what my parents or we are doing, what we eat, what we wear. You are right RV, its all competition in the end. people who take too much interest in other’s life, no matter how nice they may be, that aspect in their nature remains. They dont take this much interest in other relative’s life - Its competition with our studies, our looks, our earnings and prosperity which pinches them and they try to know more about it!
Ive told my mother all this and she said she doesnt like the direct commenting/questioning as well and we should limit it out a bit and reply to such questions simply as “allah ka shukar alhamdullilah”.. “I dont know really, falaan falaan paid for this” and such vague comments. I hope it will put an end to this!