ok so i know i am a bad mom, plz dont tell me that again, i m here for advice plus venting out
moving on, my 5 months old adorable baby sleeps in my arms and even when she’s awake she wants me to hold her all the time. A few aunties told me to put her in the bed, and dont pick her up and let her cry… eventually she’ll sleep or get used to the fact that i m not going to pick her up so she better not cry.
since i am alone nowadays, i tried to do that, let baby cry for a few min and then i cldnt handle her crying i used to pick her up. But today, i just let her cry and she cried so much, just looking at me with so much sadness in her eyes, and it was just terrible…
so i picked her up, and since she used so much energy crying, she was so tired, she just slept in my arms and right now, she’s sleeping but
but she’s letting out a lightttt cry after every few seconds in her sleep i feel terrible
Plz tell me is this the right thing to do? to let baby cry out? Because its very very difficult to do, plz anyone tell me any other good option…
i’m so sad right now, she’s kind of whimpering in her sleep
Buy the baby seat and put her in it. Nw a days baby seat has rocking chair as well.
My friends son also hv same condition. Nw she put him in it. And move his seat. If he cry he tries to talk to him so that he keep quite and start to listen her. And during this he sleeps.
U buy seat and see.
No, this is not the right thing to do, I will never do it. My son is mashAllah 10 months old and we carry him or snuggle to help him sleep.
Trying giving a bath before bed, followed by milk. This will help her relax and fall a sleep easily. If it doesn’t, then it means you should do some physical play activities with her before sleep time to help her release that energy. Maybe let her play in the jumper or play gym or just play with her.
Honestly, you will have to keep trying different things and see what works best for you.
Oh and if she is napping in the evening, you certainly want to make sure you cut down on that nap time and engage her in play activities.
lusi, she doesnt really sleep during the day, she sleeps for like half hour or 1 hour in the whole day and she’s quite active too, she keeps rolling and swings her arms n legs almost alllll the time my cutie but well she’s just too used to be in ‘goud’ (in my arms) so now i cant doing anything as i keep holding her all the time…
I grew up hearing elderly ladies say, “Put the baby down. Otherwise she/he will get used to being carried and then will cry when you put them down.” It used to be such a treat to get to pick up the infant.
When I had my daughter my husband said the same thing to me in front of an aunty and uncle that were visiting. She corrected him and said, “Beta, it’s okay if you carry your child. Pretty soon they will start crawling and walking and won’t want to be carried. So enjoy cuddling them when you can.”
I took her advice. Particularly since it was likely that this was going to be my only child. I think I already knew that somewhere deep inside, so I carried her as much as I wanted to. Thankfully she didn’t get into any “habits” so we were okay. But I would give this advice to anyone.
Enjoy your baby. Cuddle with her and let her fall asleep in your arms. She will grow up too fast.
I just wanted to say, and this is probably the most important and true thing about parenting, which ever decision you take whether its to let her cry it out or cuddle her to pieces, PLEASE STICK TO YOUR DECISION!!
When you let her cry for 10 mins and then when she is blue in the face, you pick her up: it confuses her about your preferences, makes her think that if she cries long and loud enough she will eventually win and you lose (remember those kids in school who bang their head against the wall enough to start bleeding if they are not getting a toy?).
Parenting is a difficult task and requires you to be really strong. I am totally against crying it out, but as my son grows older and becomes more communicative, it requires just as much courage from me to hear him beg and beg for the ipad or iphone or candy and consistently say no, no, no but it is necessary. This will continue in the future with doing homework, going to school, praying 5 times a day, not swearing, etc. We MUST learn early to stick to our decisions about them cuz even though we love them so much and can’t stand to see them cry, going back and forth on your decision is actually worse than taking a stand at all.
Every single baby that I have met wants to be picked up and held including my own babies. I do not believe there is such a concept as baby getting used to godi ki adat. It’s natural NOT an adat in my opinion. And yes they grow up fast, enjoy her.
Yes yes! Hold her, cuddle her .. they grow soooo fast I used to hold my baby girl ALL the time. She wanted to be held all day long haha. Now she’s almost 3 and runs away every time I ask for a hug
awww don’t let the little baby cry! and whats wrong with sleeping in your gaud??? in my opinion the moms gaud is the safest place for the baby and even us as adults would get so much satisfaction/peace being in our mom (or dad’s lap in my case hehe - im a daddys girl) so why not the baby? let her enjoy you and you do the same! she deserves it.
i am expecting my first child right now and the other day my husbands cousin came over to our house and I was holding their baby and his dadi said dont pick him up so much it will create problems for his mom later when hes used to being picked up. and i said to my husband that theres noooo way i am putting my baby down even if he/she gets used to gaud.. well thats what my gaud is for! every child is the same for the parents but especially the first one I think you should enjoy her and let her sleep in your gaud like everyone else said soon enough she will be running around and you will miss these precious moments. <3
I am sorry but I don’t agree with your stick to your decision advice. If parent has made a wrong decision, they need to rectify it. Sticking to a wrong decision will only make things worse for a child.
I tried the CIO method…failed horribly when my son started screaming bloody murder after 1 minute lol. He used to sleep through the night up until about a month ago…but I really can’t handle his crying. He’s started crawling and hates cuddle time…so I’m just soaking up all the huggies and cuddles I can cos like everyone stated above…they grow up so fast! If carrying her all the time really does take away from your ability to do anything else…get her a bouncer or a swing and place her in that. As for night-time sleeping, make a routine and stick to it. Consistency is key! Go to bed every night at the same time, with the same routine (massage, bath, storybook/surah-time)…it will make a huge difference. My son, although he wakes once at night, sleeps almost on the dot at 8PM cos he’s been set on that routine.
I totally get you…mine is 5 months old right now as well..and he has his days…some days he is ok..all happy rolling about on his own..and some days he just wants to sit with mommy and daddy…I did try CIO long time ago…but I couldn’t handle his crying as well…those big big tears rolling down his big big eyes…nope..couldn’t take it.
Like today, all he wanted to do was sit on our lap and play with us…so we did it…and then came sleep time…and he put his face on my husband’s tummy and went to sleep on his own…and some days we have to rock him to sleep…
I also play nursery rhymes for him…that keeps him entertained while am in the kitchen…and yea..for bedtime .we play lullabies..just music and that helps him to sleep as well…when we play it..he knows it is naptime or bedtime ..also when it is dark he knows that it is bedtime.
I don’t think she means continuing with something you find to be bad for the child, but rather sticking with a method and being consistent so as not to confuse the child.
the thing with CIO is you are supposed to walk away. if you have a monitor, you can see her on that. but if you’re standing right there while she’s bawling her eyes out, of course she’s going to be even more confused and upset about why you aren’t picking her up.
personally, i think she is WAY too young for you to try CIO. she’s only 5 months! the only time we tried CIO was after he was well over 1.
as others have said, relax. hold her. use a bouncer or a swing and see if that tires her out. if her neck is stable, the jolly jumper is a great activity. they enjoy it and it tires them out.
above all, you are not a bad mum. don’t think that or let anyone tell you otherwise. parenting is hard work. both of you will figure it out as she grows. there is mashaAllah a lifetime ahead of you to do that, so don’t rush the process. every age, every stage will bring its challenges. this is just the beginning, so ease up on yourself.
