i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

Lifestyle Relationships
21

She is just like me in this manner. Sweet and forgiven.

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Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

ur kids are your responsibility and so are your books. Nadz you need to stop competing with his family and stop trying to get all of his attention. You need to realize your husband isn't going to give up his family for you. He isn't that type of a guy. Move forward and stop being stuck at the same miserable level.

23

Shukr karo she is letting you take exams

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Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

I have to ask. What are you studying and why? Will this be useful for a job in future?

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Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

I think you're being too sensitive. Why do you expect your MIL to be just like your mom? Why do you think that all of the past issues will just go away one fine day, she will wake up and start singing your praises? Do you do that? Does anyone?

I think you are your own enemy...you set yourself up for failure by expecting things from others. Be self sufficient - that is THE best revenge for anyone that tries to hurt you.

26

Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

And why exactly?

she is taking exams for God's sake!

27

Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

Agreed.

Some of gs members are such bullies! Really. And with such double standards i tell ya.

28

Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

^ This. Contrary to popular opinion and the saccharine fluffery people usually gush at weddings, your in-laws are not your parents and have no obligation to view you as their child. You are not their child. You simply married their son. While they should be civil and respectful towards you, it stands to reason that they will treat you differently than they do their own children. This does not mean that you cannot have a good relationship with them or be close to them but expecting your mother-in-law to view and treat you in the exact same manner she views and treats her daughter is unrealistic and a bit much.

To those of you advising her to outdo her sister-in-law in her studies and then bring this up to her mother-in-law, I sincerely hope you lot are joking about this. When a relationship is already volatile and filled with mutual animosity, adding fuel to the fire, however minor, is a terrible idea and quite frankly, borders on stupidity. Not only that, but it is quite juvenile. Why would one want to engage in petty, tit for tat rows? Life is far too short to spend it engaging in such idiocy.

29

Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

channel the frustration towards your studies. Beat your sil's score/grade. them stealthily mention it. tbh, although your mil asking about your studies wouls be a polite thing to do, is it really going to affect your studies/grades? ignore it.

30

Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

I think your issue is not knowing how to be independent and entitlement. Please note the part about it being YOUR ISSUE.

Get over the fact that** the woman DOES NOT LIKE YOU** regardless of your relations to her. She SHOULD but will** never** throw you a bone, ever. You need to stop competing with your husbands family and STOP RELYING on having someone to take care of you in his house. They do not want you, you are a burden for them and unless you learn how to operate on your own independently you will NEVER BE HAPPY. You need to stop hoping that they will start caring for you and whether or not you succeed because they wont **and you need to do whatever it is you can in your OWN right to make your life easier. They will never give you that peace of mind. Grow up now. Learn to take care of yourself (which you are NOT doing by complaining so much regardless of how you feel.) You have entitlement issues because you think deserve it just because you are married to their son. You are **NOT entitled to their love and care, you are** NOT** and** NEVER will be because they chose NOT to give two shs about you. That doesnt make them right (its quite shameless actually) but until you realize that they dont have to do anything in your favor you will never be able to be independent from them and be able stand up on your own two feet with out feeling like they should be doing something for you or their son.

Hate is a very strong word, but yes it seems like they do HATE you unfortunately and until you realize how much you need to latch away from these expectations, you will never be happy with your family.

31

Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

You don't treat your MIL like your mom....so why do you expect your MIL to treat you like her daughter?

Why do you even care about such petty stuff anyway?

32

Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

It is tit for tat... You let your children break your BIL's comp.

If I were you, I would not leave my books on the table especially when I haven't taught my kids not touch other people's things.

33

Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

If I should not expect anything from them then surely they should not expect anything from me. But that's never that easy

Secondly.all.you giving your holier than thou advice don't live with ur in laws urselves.

Unless u do only then u will understand.

34

Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

I haven't been on GS for a long time. So I don't really know what's been going on in the meantime. But as far as I remember you were supposed to move to the UK. What happened to that plan?

35

Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

Yeah, weren’t you planning on coming back to the UK at Easter? Or was that last Easter? :confused:

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Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

She's got a point. It's not easy.

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Re: i know i shouldnt care but bugs.me

^She has got a point.. but she keeps going back for more :bummer: