If I’m walking somewhere by myself, and a “strange-looking” person is walking around me, I start feeling really uncomfortable. I keep imagining the possibilities of how that very person could just come up and stab me to death, or rape, or kidnap, or rob me. Then, I start walking even faster, trying to keep watch on that person from the corner of my eye.
When I’m out in public, I almost always have to have a jacket on (unless it’s really hot). I feel more secure when I’m wearing a jacket. Maybe it’s because I can put my hands in the pocket, or tug on the front to cover my chest when I’m feeling cold. I have lots of hoodie jackets. I hate going out without them.
I get really irritated when I am out somewhere and I don’t have my Chapstick with me. I don’t know what I would do without my Chapstick, really. I put it on atleast 20 times a day; I guess it’s just something to do when I get bored, I dunno. I like all the different kinds. Cherry, Regular, and I love the tingly feeling the Medicated one gives to my lips.
I think it’s gross when people blow their nose in public. It’s pretty common, but I find it disgusting. I don’t like being near them when they’re doing it. Yuk.
When I’m laying down at night, I close my eyes. Sometimes, I think that if I open my eyes, there might be a Jinn standing right infront of my face. I try not to move and keep my eyes shut real tight.
I’m not afraid of the dark. I’m afraid of what’s IN the dark. I have the image of this man with pale green skin and hardly any hair, but the amount that he does have on his head is wet and long. He has really messed up teeth and long, sharp fingernails. He’s really skinny, and he is a mermaid. I imagine him swimming around through the air in the dark when I’m by myself. I’ve had this image in my head since I was really small. I hate him so much.
When someone is mad or annoyed by me, I feel bad. Sometimes I’ll say something back because I’m angry, too. Later on, I feel horrible about it and it really ruins my day. I get this really cruddy feeling on the inside. I want everyone to be my pal.
These are just a few of the issues I have. I wish I could get rid of them; I am a prisoner of my own paranoia.
these are normal conditions dear..reveal a lot about your past..which i am sorry to say that whatever happend, it happend, but now its done.. real confidence comes from within.. not from re-assurance of the close ones..
regarding hoodies, tucking hands in pockets, jackets, watching ur surroundings, thats all normal
thats normal too ..fear/not-known-fear of public speaking is fear#1 …
getting hit from oncoming car/train and dying, is #6 (sorry i dont have the source on me) …
so u knowww.. its quiet normal.. i blurr my vision when i am doing a presentation/debate.. this way, all the faces used to blurr out and only ‘figures’ and ‘images’ remained in the vision.. WHICH are controllable-objects.. atleast in my mind ..
OH my God i ahve those feelings of paranoia n insecurities toooooo…
these are normal conditions dear..reveal a lot about your past..which i am sorry to say that whatever happend, it happend, but now its done.. real confidence comes from within.. not from re-assurance of the close ones..