I have one two questions please!I am new here my name is ADK. I have two daughter and wife. I am very worried my freinds you see the one younger daugter of mine has in highschool three four freinds who are kaafi modern!uss ki freinds makeup kerti hai! and they are wearing sometimes tight shirt to our house. even so many time i have tell to my larki tell them wear some chaddar to my house. now even that is not big problem but big problem jo mujhay feel ho raha hai is that my daughter wants to go college! i want her to hifz quran aik saal kamazkam but she is actually sometime crying even to go the college. i know what kind boys girls are in college my freinds! icorrupt my daughter! my one old daughter stay home and hifz quraan she teach kids and mashullah gettingg married next year! younger daughter i think she is influense by modern freinds now how to make her see how to ask her i sometimes slapped her even but now she say i am not a good person and it is so hurting me hum unn ko batana chahtay hain ke inn modern logon mein perh ker woh bhi badall jaye gee! aur phir aik dinn apna scarf utaar day gee gher se bhag jaye gi love muhabat ka chakkar shurruu ho jaye gaa. ab hum yeh sab kaise kahe? freinds i need your help!
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AD I go to college in Manhattan, and there’s plenty of good Muslim girls who wear nikaab/hijab, who don’t date and don’t do bad things. If you feel you’ve done a good job as a father to raise her with good Muslim values, to instill in her the fear of Allah, then you shouldn’t worry about her throwing her scarf off and running away.
Education–worldly and Islamic–is never a bad thing and you should not stop her from trying to gain both.
However, if you slap her and force her to do things she does not want to do and prevent her from going to college or having freinds, you will only drive her away from you and from her religion, and I’m sure u do not want that. These teen years are the most difficult to handle and just because your elder daughter didnt’ give you teh same problems it doesnt mean the younger one will. They’re two different people and it is often the case that two people who have the exact same upbringing come out entirely differently.
You haev to understand she will not be the same girl forever. She may come across temptation and need to make difficult choices but again, if you’ve raised her with the proper values, you have to trust her to make the right decision. I think you’ve read too many bad stories or come across a lot of propaganda regarding girls here and that’s unfortunate. Either that or you’re messing with all of us :halo:
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is this matsui???
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And i just typed a long response with my sincere advice.. :(
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hello sara516 it is true my larki is so simple i know! but mein unn modern lari ko trust nahi kertaa! aap jantee hai kharab ka influnse zyada jaldee hota hai aur humari zindagi bhar ki hidayat ka koi fayeda nahi rehta. she is also always not speaking in teh urdu! she is talking on phoe in angrezi all the time
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^ And what is wrong wtih speaking english?
Honestly I think you need to stop being so strict. Give her room to breathe, to be herself. As long as she's not going outside the boundary of Islam (dating, dressing a certain way etc) trust her enough that she will do the right thing. If you're going to raise problems over what language she speaks with her friends, she's only going to want to rebel; it's goign to push her away from her religion and culture.
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I think the advice that Sara gave you is the best advice anyone can give you. You should put your trust and faith in Allah (swt) and let her go to college. Slapping her or forcing her into things or not letting her gain knowledge will only drive her away. As far as her talking on the phone in english, I don't see it as a problem. She should talk in whatever language she feels comfortable in. English/urdu does not make her a better Muslim. I would've wrote a lot more but I think Sara516 covered everything. May Allah(swt) help you and your daughters. Ameen.
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What you are talking sara516? my both daughter have thier two rooms!
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^ That's not the type of "room" i meant. :)
I'm getting more and more convinced that you are someone else..
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What you are talking? what type room?I am someone else? main samjha nahi sara516?
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Okay the more i read your posts, the more I think you're messing around
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Okay :)
I meant room as in the figureative sense, not the physical sense.
Let her speak in whatever language she feels comfortable, let her go to college and meet new people. Once she sees upclose the negative side of things she'll naturally be drawn away from them and will make the right choices InshAllah.
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shukar hai allah nay mujhay beeti wali zimadaari say bachya hai.
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jee aisa na kaho beti allah ki naimat hai bashartekay woh naik ho to. me and wife want sons first to have older brother who takes care of girls but now we are happy with allah ki daain. maine note kiya hai yahaan per pakistani kaafi modern hain they tell me i am strict but sara516 you are also putting a makeup picture so its mean you are modern larki! YALLAH! Ab kuch aur logg apni rai day dain.
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Allahditta
why havent you married off your daughters yet
Shame on you...you should have had them engaged when they were a couple of months old.
Shame on you again...
they are older than 14?
shame on you
you are not upholding the customs....
Shame on you
the customs are there to be upheld
shame on you
for even thinking of not letting her go to college...if you had done your duty she'd be looking after your grandchildren and youd not be in this bother
Shame on you one more time
and good day to you
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daisy,
don't be so jazbaati. Stop watching them bollywood flicks. :D
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hmm 6 times,
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miss lazy daisy i am thinking you are not fair. i will not marry to daughter when they are 14. it is na baligh. ok please not to fight anymore with me. i am new here/
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I pray your daugther goes to college. . . Ameen.
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Pirate_Lover: shukar hai allah nay mujhay beeti wali zimadaari say bachya hai.
I would like to know how the zimadaari is any different for girls than they are for boys. . .