everyone in this rishta process. I dont know if its because they are overseas and i think everyone is on one mission and dont give a damn about me. then i think If your looking overseas its also not right to judge everyone. maybe people are sincere as well. idk it feels like one big joke.
am I just being paranoid? how do i get my self to settle down and accept someone without thinking that they have a mission and wht if they do? most of these people seem decent they families seem decent. i mean is not it a big deal for a guy to get married and leave? like dont men care about their reputation.
it is a huge leap of faith, but is not that what marriage is any way?
i dont think there really is any way of testing someones sincerity before marriage esp in an arranged marriage, no matter where you decide to do it.
but i dont know if my “bad feelings” are a sign from God, or if I am just paranoid.
Re: I have a bad feeling about
It’s not wrong to have a bad feeling about the process. Especially if the ristha’s are mostly coming from pakistan. Have you tried online sites and or dating apps here? Muzmatch. Halfourdeen.com and Shaadi.com are some of the biggest. I only suggest this if your parents are comfortable with the idea.
With that being said, you are going to have bad feelings cause: 1. there is a bad stereotype of guys marrying girls here and high divorce rate 2. You don’t actually see them and they are miles away 3. Everyone is on their best behavior until after marriage and that’s when their true colors show.
It is a huge leap of faith, but that same huge leap of faith is even taken by people here who have seen and met each other as well. Thats why people do Ishtikara, so that Allah makes their leaps of faith not as bad as they could be.
You should do some online research about marriage questions to ask guys as it pertains to you in you’re situation. Use the search function and check old threads and see if you find something?
One question you should ask your potential mates is “what will you do if you can’t find a job that you like in the U.S”
A lot of times, guys who come from Pakistan don’t get the jobs they desire. They might study some sort of engineering degree in PAK but when they come here, most employers won’t care. Usually they will have to go back to school.
I know people that moved here, couldn’t find jobs they liked, and didn’t want to go back to school and than ended up moving back or to dubai.
But I also know pakistani’s that moved here became mechanics and electricians and now have their own business. It’s a two way street I guess.
Another one about what he thinks the role of a women is in the household
Ask him whats the worst thing he’s ever done? Although they probably might lie…