he never has. the first sign was at 2 months of age, the kid started to refuse feeds from his pop. he would rather cry and go to sleep hungry but just wouldnt drink from him… we tried everything.. nothing helped
as he grew older.. he became more and more attatched to me… husband would take him out for grocery errands, or for son and father time at the play zone with no mommy to distract… but now even that is impossible if i am not around… husband tried a few days ago to take him out all by himself but was back in 5 mins cuz the kid was crying hysterically and had thus thrown up. we have even tried toughing it out but man nothing helps… he once cried for an hour non stop
sil is visiting with her 2 yr old… he LOVES my husband… all kids do.. they think of him as a giant tree that they can climb … that is the only time my son will actually play with my husband or will allow him to touch him.. IF another kid is playing with him… emphasis on play.. dont think he is jealous cuz he isnt.. the minute play time is over and a kid just sits in his lap, its over for my son.. and he comes back to me or goes back to doing what he was doing. so its definately not jealousy..
when husband comes home, he claps, runs around in circles, gets excited, announces that dad is here… he does everything BUT go to him… when the man tries to pick him up he starts to scream and cry :confusing:
now he has resorted to hitting husband when he comes close to him… night time change and sleep routine was always my husband’s time to spend with his son.. used to be quite peaceful but oh my god its torture … a neighbour once asked us if our kid is ok cuz every night at the same time they can hear horrible shrieking and crying.
husband is so pissed at midget… and also heart broken… he just cant seem to get any love outta the lil guy
My younger daughter prefers ME over her dad probably because she spends a LOT of time with me and I am involved in ALL her daily routines. From morning teeth brushing to reading duas in her bed.
So when she says "no I want ONLY mommy, baba you go to the office" - my hubby gets a heartbroken.
I have started transitioning acitvities over to him. I would start doing acitivites together. You, Him and the baby. Then** gradually** pull away.
So this is a long shot, but I figured since nothing else seems to make sense, is he particularly sensitive to smell or anything? Like does your hubby use a cologne or aftershave or something that could bother him?
I know this isn't the likely reason; just figured it's worth checking out.
njgal: my hubby is pretty well active in his upbringing.. its just as time is going by.. slowly he doesnt want his dad to do anything with him… no brushing teeth, no feeding him, no changing him .. no playing with him…
we play together.. and i do pull away.. or if he comes to me and says lets do this that or the other.. i always say no im not doing it.. go to baba.. he will do it… he goes half way and then gives up. honestly!
sahar: haha… my husband wears none of that cuz i have a super sensitive nose.. i cant stand perfumes, colonges, aftershaves etc.. we used to think its his stubble..the poor man would shave every single day but nopes.. wasnt that either.
bitter: i smack him from time to time, i tell him off. give him time outs… any kid would hate me by now… my hsuband does .1 millionth the disciplining i do and yet he still comes off looking far worse than i do. we were joking.. maybe our kid loves tough love.. thats why he keeps coming back to me for more cheekh pukaar
For me it is the opposite.
My son wants his dad most of the time now.
On one hand it makes my life a little easy as I have other chores to do and it gives me more time and on the other hand I feel a little jealous and heart broken as I see all kids wanting their moms except for my son.
We both work full time and it is not like I am discipling him all the time, infact my husband is kind of more strict.
In these situations I try to divert his attention with something that he likes most.
sometime it works and sometimes it does not. I dont have a perfect solution and I am at loss some of the time myself.
When your husband takes him out, he can take with him his favourite book or toy or his favourite food and that might help.
Also as someone suggested, start out doing an activity with the 3 of you and then slowly get out of the play or activity and see if it helps.
It sometimes helps me.
awww this is sad, tell your husband to hang in there, when your son gets older he mayget closer to him. My mil always says that my husband was a mommies boy and would never go anywhere with his dad, but when he reached his teens he became really close to his dad, he has worked side by side with his dad in the family business since he was 21 and they get on really well now.
what if your husband ignore him, do you think then he would want to seek his attention? Maybe you son is going through a phase and is more clingy too you as he is getting less attention from you... how long he has been like that with your hubby...month, 2 months?
since I don't have any kids , I cant really offer any advise. but it was definitely an informative read. Also never heard of this prolly coz I dont have any friends who have kids as yet...surprising coz we all are 29/30 yrs ol'... hmmm....
But I soo feel for your husband. My sis just had a baby 7 months ago... and it breaks my heart that we are not there to see him all the time ( she is in uk and we in the gulf ) so i can only imagine what a dad is going through not being able to hug his own child or just do things a normal dad would do. But I guess your son will grown out of it. Kids sometimes do the darn-est things and we can't understand ti coz they dont know how to explain it to us.
maybe its different for girls, but my girls LOVE their dad. if he doesnt play with them an hour before going to sleep, and that playing is; jumping on the dad while he is on the bed till small pillow fights, they are quite sad.
I think its just that he prefers u more .. i think its a phase and will be over soon iA.
AHA! finally at 21 months of age, midget took to his father. out of teh blue… ran into him when he came in from work … hugged his knees.. .and then ran off to his bouncing horsey… sat and waited for husband to come… mr was busy taking off his coat etc… so he kept shouting out baba dekho.. baba dekho .. when husband would look at him.. he would bounce like a maniac.. he did this for a good 15 mins!
husband is dancing circles around the moon… its uncanny… its a 180 turn this kid has done… and now he has just allowed his dad to put him down for the night… something my husband dreamed bout ever since midget was born, but was never allowed to do cuz the kid didnt like it.
DAMN we are pleased!
dont know how he will react to me being removed from teh pic.. but we shall find out soon enough.. husband will attempt to take him out all by himself… fingers and toes crossed!
thanks everyone for your replies… guess it was .. just a phase the longest ever phase we have had to go through so far in child rearing! hehe
Kids go through that. Its a phase and they will get over that soon. The trick is, not to force them as they are smarter than we think. Mu older one, when she was about 4 years old went through this phase where she would not like to talk to me or let me sit next to her, as soon as I would come home from the office, you would see that anger on her face as she would be happier without me being there and why did I enter the house and ruined her day.
Best way of dealing is have your hubby interact with him through you. When you are playing with your son, let your hubby casually and subtlety join and slowly take the lead role in that game or activity (but let it go as soon as he sees the resistance from your son). Also at night, make your son lie nect to you and have your hubby come and lie down on the other side. First, you son needs to be comfortable with your hubby around when you are there, only then he would be comfortable with him being around when you are not there. Dont force the little one.
sahar: ahha... wish we had known bout it sooner :D
tlk: ab tho sub kuch sahi hai... but just incase i shall keep all that in my memory.... just hadn't dealth with a phase that lasted 21 months! (basically his whole little life here on earth)
we were joking.. maybe our kid loves tough love.. thats why he keeps coming back to me for more cheekh pukaar 