Whoever wrote this has a great sense sence of humor (IMHO)…
Eating out with the GupShup Gang
Posted on Thursday, November 16 @ 01:39:55 EST
GupShup Observer writes “Finally, after much hoo-ing and haa-ing, rishwat and general arm-twisting, the Gupshup members have been persuaded to meet up at Ali Baba’s Virtual Kebab House, a small but vibrant restaurant with a big reputation in Cyberville.” …
Scenario: Finally, after much hoo-ing and haa-ing, rishwat and general arm-twisting, the Gupshup members have been persuaded to meet up at Ali Baba’s Virtual Kebab House, a small but vibrant restaurant with a big reputation in Cyberville. Exact location has been kept a secret as the owner only allows a certain standard of clientele.they must be wearing a pair of shoes otherwise entry is denied.
Everything starts smoothly, as the Gupshuppers roll in at the agreed meeting time of 8:pm, lots of warm handshakes, a few bearhugs, plenty of backslapping and generally a feeling of warmth and good cheer. As they all settle down, the waiter arrives at the head of the table, where Mr Xtreme is seated, studying the menu intently.
Waiter: “Are you ready to order yet sir?” (He’s a very polite waiter)
Xtreme: “Hold on a tick, I’m still thinking..”
NYAhmadi: Xtreme yaara, may I recommend the pork biryani, it’s absolutely wonderful with white wine sauce.it would be right up your street my dear friend"
Waiter: “that’s not on the menu sir”
NYAhmadi: What? Why ever not? What have you got against the poor little piggy..he’s just as wholesome and healthy as any of your lambs or chickens! I am deeply disappointed!"
Waiter: “Sir, this is a halal restaurant”
At this point, Rani stands up and accosts the waiter;
Rani: Halal restaurant? We know all about your halal restaurants, and how you are bringing your halal restaurants into India. Well, India has very many fine non-halal restaurants and we will thank you very much if you keep your halal restaurants on your side of the border in your Pureland!
Mundyaa: “yeah, but in your restaurants they serve the shoodars on toast and entertainment is provided by dancing devdasi prostitutes”
AmmarB: “Rani, I knew you wud say dat, but if you wanna bring dat up den you havta look at de other side as well, but I know you won’t agree wid me”
Waiter: “look is anyone ready to order?”
Roman: “Man.that reminds me of the old days when I used to eat at Khan’s place in Lahore.the karahi at that place was legendary. No matter where I go, that place will always come to mind when I think of karahi.. No place can ever come close to the special aromas that would come wafting out of the kitchens there.”
Chanmahi: “Oye soneya, jo vi dena, de do, bas punjabi khaana hovey te assi ungla chatt-chatt ke khavaN ge!”
Waiter: “Ok, I’ll catch you on my way round” (moves to the next seat where Anchal is sitting
Waiter: Are you ready to order Madam?
Anchal: “don’t know bout that sweetie.if and when I choose to order is my choice, and I'm living my life so ummm.there's nothing you can do bout it, got that angel?”
Andicat: “That’s right you tell him sugar.he’s not even very good-looking, unlike me, the official Miss Pakistan. You can find out all about me on www.misspakistan.con
sponsored by Honest Al’s Bargain Cave Furniture Store.”
Kohal: “k, like, I don’t wanna offend anyone or nothin, but even if he isn’t very good-looking, at least he’s wearing a nice waistcoat, and his trousers are well pressed. So why can’t people be nice instead of always being mean, hmmm?”
Jaawan: “Instead of wasting time, I think I should just order for everyone. I know most of you won’t like that but it’s for your own good LOL. If you don’t like what I order it’s your own fault because I ordered it LOL.” Thank you and have a pleasant meal LOL.
(The waiter shrugs and shuffles round the table)
Waiter: “What about you Madam, have you made your mind up?”
Mem Sahib: “Yes I have. I have decided that my darling Gizzy jaan is going to order for me, aren’t you Gizzy dear? I think my Gizzy would look ever so lovely in your waiter’s uniform, but of course he would only be allowed to wait on me, isn’t that right jaanu?”
Nova: “Folks.have you ever really thought about why it is we want to eat at restaurants? Is it to serve some deep need within us? Or perhaps just conditioning of our minds to think that way? I would like us all to look with open eyes. Please understand, this question is not for everyone.”
Fraudz: “Dat’s kewl, mon ami, but I hafta say, ma stomach dun run on empty, so if ya all cud get a move on with da orders?”
Muzna: "I think if we can organize ourselves more effectively, this party of Gupshuppers has the potential to order the best meal ever! That party sitting at the next table doesn’t have anywhere near our ordering capability. Let’s put our heads together and show them how to order!
Mr Xtreme: “Check the way that waiter on the other table has arranged the kebab and koftays on that diner’s plate.I reckon he might be gay. Make sure he doesn’t serve our table.”
BombayKid: “Mr Xtreme, you are quite within your rights to point out that he might be gay, nothing wrong in that and I can fully understand your viewpoint. but when we point out gays in India, you muslims are the first to start shouting that we are oppressing gays. Perhaps you should worry about gay waiters at your own table and leave that waiter alone.”
By now, our poor Waiter is starting to feel a little agitated. Still his notepad is blank. He spots a young lad sitting fiddling with his pager in a bored manner. “Maybe he’s made his mind up” thinks the Waiter, “He’s not looking at his menu”
Waiter: “would you care to order now young Sir?”
Waiter: “And would sir like that with naan bread or rice?”
Azkar: “That’s it.I’ve had enough! You come into my favourite restaurant, mess about ordering, and then give the waiter abuse when he is only following instructions and rules which you all knew about before you entered this place. You’re all banned from this restaurant!”
Waiter: “Excuse me sir, but although I am very grateful for your support, I don’t think that the owner, Baba sahib would appreciate you throwing people out without his permission.”
Jaawan: "Ha Ha, I have to agree with myself that admin team are doing a great job here LOL. They are trying to ban the decent people from the restaurant and leaving the a**kissers who use the bad language to do whateverrrr LOL. Have a nice meal. LOL.
Muzna: "Ok, that’s enough! Nothing’s going to get done around here while all this time-wasting is going on. God, why is it always me who has to sort everybody else’s problem’s out? Waiter: Just bring a large tray of samosays and two jugs of water. "
Waiter: “Thank you Madam” (wipes his forehead with a handkerchief and tosses his notebook in the bin).
Rizwanfareed: “Don’t we get any starters then?”
Muzna: “Shut up.”
Epilogue
According to reliable reports, the samosays were in fact very tasty and the water was served ice cold, so happily, Ali Baba’s Kebab joint keeps its reputation intact. The Gupshuppers have tentatively marked a date in April next year for another get together, where it’s believed that they might well order a large tray of Onion Bhaji’s and two jugs of water.
[This message has been edited by Admin (edited November 29, 2000).]
