I gave badwa

[preciousheera]

Re: I gave badwa

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[preciousheera]

Re: I gave badwa

@Silaaj

Have you taken them to meet her, and she refused to see them? Or are you waiting for her to come and meet them herself?

Chances are, if she is talking to you, she will see your kids. Parents love grandkids more than their own kids…so take the initiative.

Yes I have offered my Parents to meet them but they never showed any interest. When I brought a new car they asked me to visit them so they could see the car, they arranged to meet me outiside a petrol station!
that’s the first time they met my son ( and husband!) my son was 4 at the time!

I have reacently been blessed by god with an angel daughter (2 months ago ) and I had planned to visit my parents 2 weeks ago. But the night before I was going to visit my dad called to cancel me coming as “mum was too ill”.
So I didn’t go, but then I later found out they had just last week gone to a wedding in Glasgow (7 hours drive from there home).
So there to ill to see me and there gran kids and too ill for me to come over to meet them, but there not too ill to go to my mums cousin sister second love marriage that is 7 hours drive away!

@StrangeOne

OP is now a parent and it’s their duty to protect their kids and if the grandparents are abusive both physically, emotionally then why in the world would they expose their kids to people who can hurt them. Just because someone is old or a grandparent or sick doesn’t make them good people. It’s highly naive to think so.

What strange one is saying is correct. That’s exactly how I feel.
I sometimes think is it even worth it taking my kids there as she might poison them with her words.
As my parents are not Muslim (my husband is Pakistani Muslim) and they are from a Punjabi background, my mum has a special hate for my sons Muslim name
She keeps changing it from Aamir to Amanjeet and is insiting on it being Amanjeet. When she first met my son outside the petrol station she kept calling him Amanjeet to the point he started crying!
Now she has issues with my daughter beautiful name
I don’t know what to do any more. I want to be an example to my kids of how a good child should be but at them same time I don’t want to been seen as a door mat.

[mahool]

Re: I gave badwa

@preciousheera

Hmm… when you put it like that it doesn’t sound too bad but it is still operations.

I have forgiven her, it’s just in that moment she made me so upset. I’m trying to make things better and fix are broken relationships, yet she is not showing much change or interest and is always making snide remarks, even today I called her to ask about her brain tumour operation and she made snide remarks about my husband and how if I had stayed in the family she would have chosen a prince for me and my life would be like a princess 樂
She is always puttting me down.
I HAVE forgiven her, that’s why I’m trying… maybe I should just forget her as well.

If you have courage… you should remind her that few months ago… she declared that God gave her best daughter in law… but she left her and also took her only son… so tell her that Allah does not like tanz and tana… I am here for you but if you constantly taunt me… you will lost my support…

[redvelvet]

Re: I gave badwa

@preciousheera

What strange one is saying is correct. That’s exactly how I feel.
I sometimes think is it even worth it taking my kids there as she might poison them with her words.
.

Umm…hold up a second. Let’s focus on the current issue. Your mom is very ill, are you bothered by this? If so…then you can even choose to visit your mom without your kids…or keep the kids at a distance for now. It doesn’t have to be that removing the kids from the picture also means removing yourself. You can meet your mom without the kids. You can talk to her without the kids. As for your 2-month-old…she’s a baby…she won’t be able to understand whether her naani-ma calls her by a Muslim name…or whether she calls her Kuljeetay. So you just might be able to visit with the baby and have you son stay with his dad instead or have your husband watch both kids for a short while…thus allowing you to spend time with her.

I understand the importance and even necessity of keeping kids away from certain influences within the family…but even with that one has to be reasonable…and not veer off to a black n white extreme. In other words, you pick and choose your battles. Your mom will always be your mom. And if you fear that her health may worsen and that in the future you might regret not being there for her…then you can still interact with her to an extent and keep kids at a distance. Again, keeping the kids away…does not necessitate that you, too, must stay away from your parents, too.

[Iconoclast]

Re: I gave badwa

I don’t believe bad dua can give one a breast cancer. And make sure she actually has one. Maybe it’s a way to emotionally abuse you.