well firstly thx all 4 the replies…
yes i am a muslim, my mother knows i have a b/f but dad dosent, actually my parents are divorced so lets just keep my dad outta the picture…
i dont usually get 2 talk 2 my mom abt such things cuz shes always busy wid work n whenever i’m home half the time shes not there so i dont really know wats right n wats wrong and wat i shud n shud not be doing at such an age
inshallah i will be marrying this guy coz his mom knows me really well n she really likes me…u know the kinda realationship where she calls me 2 lunch or dinner coz i’m alone but we’ve never really talked abt marriage but she calls me her daughter n all dat n when she goes 2 pakistan she always gets sumthing 4 me…btw if this is n e help we’ve been going out for 3 years n this is the first time n e thing like this ever happened…
n e ways thx again i really appreciate it!!
[quote]
Originally posted by SADI:
** If we start judging ppl from their choice of guppy names then yours tell me its taken from some cheap romance book, well anyway... Sajna tell him if he respects u then he should keep his hands to himself.
**
[/quote]
my nick is not taken from any book , I made it up and it is pretty decent.
What happens when we're dead? The irony is that all our questions will be answered after we die. We spend our whole life trying to figure out the truth and the only way we'll find out what it is, is to get hit by a bus. And the only comfort that religion offers is that God is driving that bus.
All racists who are prepared to die for their contry, please do that now.
well if shes so sure shes gonna marry him and her mom knows abt it, it still is wrong to get 'touchy feely' b4 marriage i guess
doesnt it make it more special to do all that later?
"next time he touches u let him know that your religion doesnt allow it...."
Her religion(Islam) doesn't allow her to be alone with a non-mahrem man let alone be physical with him.
Sajna, if your mom and his mom has no problem with it...and if you're so sure that you're gonna marry him, then why not "officially" get engaged now? Or at least sign the nikah papers and MAYBE have the big shadi and all later? Because no matter what his mom says/does...no matter what HE says/does...the fact is that this is still not "official". He can still leave you if he wants to. And just b/c his mother SEEMS to like you/accept you going out with him, that still doesn't guarantee 100% that you will marry him.
As far as going out for 3 years goes...I know one couple(desi/Muslim) who dated for 6(yep SIX) YEARS. He's 26 and she's 24. 2 months ago, after dating exclusively for 6 years, she caught him cheating on her and they broke up. I know several people who have been in "serious relationships" for years and then they broke up.
Until both of you sign the nikah papers, OR until you at least get engaged(where both families get together, publically consent to the marriage), there's nothing tying him to you. And yea I'm sure you think you know him and think that "he'll never do anything like that" or "he's not like that"...well, that girl I know who dated that guy for 6 years also thought the same thing. You never think it can happen to you.
no matter if your mom knows or his mom knows...you just don't allow him to do that in public....when the time comes he could use that against you, declaring you lean't....if your not gonna look at it in the religious prospective...than do base it on manners as a whole...you have to set guidelines otherwise in the heat of the moment next time somthing else may happen...than there is no use to come home and 'think' about it.....
hey guppies guess wat???
i read ur replies n decided 2 have a long talk wid him
well when i met him he gave me this knowing smile n this is wat he said b4 i cud even start..."i know wat u wanna talk 2 me abt, i really feel guilty abt wat happened yesterday, i know i shudn't have done that,but i just dunno wat came over me, i promise it wont happen again, and if i hurt u in n e way then i'm sorry"
can u believe dat???
he must be psychic or sumthing!!!
n all i cud say was..."ghar jaa ker tauba kerna or phir namaz perna" LOL
well i guess everything is cleared out now.
THX 2 ALL OF U!!!!
i feel a whole lot better now!!!
[quote]
Originally posted by SaJnA:
**hey guppies guess wat???
i read ur replies n decided 2 have a long talk wid him
well when i met him he gave me this knowing smile n this is wat he said b4 i cud even start..."i know wat u wanna talk 2 me abt, i really feel guilty abt wat happened yesterday, i know i shudn't have done that,but i just dunno wat came over me, i promise it wont happen again, and if i hurt u in n e way then i'm sorry"
can u believe dat???
he must be psychic or sumthing!!!
n all i cud say was..."ghar jaa ker tauba kerna or phir namaz perna" LOL
well i guess everything is cleared out now.
THX 2 ALL OF U!!!!
i feel a whole lot better now!!!
**
[/quote]
Guess what! It will happen again and as long as you both are mature enough and use protection, it will be good for you both.
Sajna, just be careful, whether you do get married to this guy or not is I don't think t/ question here. T/ question is was it right or wrong? Did it make you uncomfortable or not besides making you feel nice 'temporarily'?
I could tell you tons and tons of stories where a desi couple dated for yrs and yrs and still broke up for one reason or another and t/ girl simply lived to regret t/ whole physical side of t/ relationship. I sggst you read t/ "sex before marriage" thread if you haven't already. Interesting points there. Hope that helps.
And do you go to school? If yes, just try to get busy w/ your studies cuz you are too damn young for all this in t/ first place and should be concentrating on your studies hence your very own future which is independent of someone specially a male. How about helping your mom financially and otherwise?
yep i agree wid all of u
i'll be a hell lot careful next time!!!
and yea...lets just hope he hasnt read all this coz as far as i know hes not a guppy...
[quote]
Originally posted by SaJnA:
**hey guppies guess wat???
i read ur replies n decided 2 have a long talk wid him
well when i met him he gave me this knowing smile n this is wat he said b4 i cud even start..."i know wat u wanna talk 2 me abt, i really feel guilty abt wat happened yesterday, i know i shudn't have done that,but i just dunno wat came over me, i promise it wont happen again, and if i hurt u in n e way then i'm sorry"
can u believe dat???
he must be psychic or sumthing!!!
n all i cud say was..."ghar jaa ker tauba kerna or phir namaz perna" LOL
well i guess everything is cleared out now.
THX 2 ALL OF U!!!!
i feel a whole lot better now!!!
**
[/quote]
he's trying the old "I am so nice and clean act" That dude is probably thinking night and day how he can get "some." If it is true thats an old trick guyz do...Thats new that your mom knows you have a b/f....very liberal
"Zindagi mein to sabhi pyar kiya karte hain.....meri jaan mein to maar kar be tumhe chahoon ga"
[This message has been edited by Bhadsha (edited May 06, 2002).]