I feel so stuck in my life...

Lifestyle Relationships
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I have huge “age crisis” going on..I know im just 22 but still im thinking all the time that im so stuck in my life and haven’t done anything “clever” yet.. My mom was married and had 1 child and was pregnant for second child when she was in my age so im thinking like am I wasting time..Im not ready for kids yet but like marriage thing is another, cause in my head im thinking that basically life “begins” after u are married. I know its stupid because life is much more than marriage&kids, but like now im just studying and dont even know does this degree help me in future. I dont have any other goals than being happily married in my life so maybe thats the problem, maybe I should figure something else too like careergoals or something.. So basically my problem is that I feel like im not going forward in my life and I feel like im wasting time…
Any thoughts..and in what age did u marry? And does life really change after marriage? What were/are ur life goals at my age?

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

I was precisely pursuing studies in your age and marriage was no go area simply. I got married at 30 last year after I had completed studies long time and established a convenient career for myself.

What are you studying? Marriage can be the beginning and end both of a life. I would rather you establish your career first. Or atleast strive for an individual entity before you get married.

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

go ahead and find a guy and get married.

you will figure out after marriage. kids, career etc..

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

All this stuff is totallyyyy in God's hands and not yours so whyyy worryyyy

Life will sort itself out whether you panic about it or not :)

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

I second mirage. Marriage IS going to happen for you (most likely). You are only 22 and you have SO much more to offer to yourself, your future husband, your kids and the society at large. For you to be a better wife and mother, it is advisable that you have an identity of your own. Figure out what you like doing and figure out ways you can make money. I hope you won't be financially strapped ever to go work for the sake of money but in case that happens (that is assuming according to your post that you're not interested in working just to enhance your personality/your own personal life), you will have something to fall back on.

You don't need to bring in money to have an identity for yourself in a marriage. But your separate interests that make you, YOU would not just be very attractive to a potential husband but also extremely good for you. Think about yourself. Marriage WILL happen and you will make the most of it. Don't let that stop you.

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

From your post you seem matured enough to get married. Go ahead do it and find out what future holds for you.
The sooner you find out the better it is. Good Luck.

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

ok one question so when in desi society a girl is 29/30 she has a hard time finding a rishta and if a girl is 22 shes still little. so when is she really ready . my retarded extended family believes that 27/28 is even too old for guys to get married.

jazz do u have a goal or any goals you want to achieve. career wise?Dont compare urself with ur mom, they were different from us. so get some goals or things u wud want to do in next year or so and if marriage is also one of those things, get married:)

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life…

True that.

I cnt believe when i hear guys 24-25 wanting to “settle” down. Lol! It’s like get a life first :rolleyes:.

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

We can make dua, but the ultimate fate is truly in Gods hands...I mean when I was 22 I was done with my bachelors, and was getting myself enrolled in a masters program, I finished my masters program in two years time, and just got done a short while ago... I prayed for Allah mian to guide me and it was the best choice in my life. I have a lot of respect because I have attained a masters level education versus my friends who just got married early. Trust me they would rather be in my place I am still single free, and have a career and marriage ahead of me, I have choices. Allah has a plan for you that is different, and your achievments are going to look different from another person's life.

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

I m the opposite... I knew I always wanted a career... Marriage was never on my list. I always thought I, would marry after 28... But I m 20 and get marriwd in 24 days.... Lofe doesnt alwYs go as we plan it

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

Yeah but God has given us a brain to use. Life will only sort out if we use that brain in a sensible manner and make the best out of things.

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

i was 22 when I got married last year....I just like u thought my life was gonna completely change, but u know what I'm loving it...the first year of marriage was amazing...we are like best friends who go out on the weekends (no curfew)...I love dressing up with him...more financial security, and its just amazing waking up to someone u love and loves u (it was an arranged marriage)...
Yes life does change when u have kids, but before that its great...yes a few things will change like perhaps having to move away from your family and having to learn how to cook (which I didn't even know how to make chai), but I learned it and its a new experience exploring new places and learning new things to make for your hubby to try when he gets home...

I was scared as heck as u were before getting married...yes your life does change but its for the better..u will feel as a responsible young woman and u will love it

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

Thank you for answers:)
Im studying marketing in university, and I will graduate in winter 2013.

Its really nice to hear that im not only one who isnt married and doesnt know what to do with life in my age.
I just dont know that am I ready for marriage yet or not. Of course finding the right one for spouse isnt that easy and doesnt happen in day but its like if I say to my dad im ready to marriage, I feel like I cant back down anymore then. And telling to my dad that I want to get married is another thing, and for me that would be really awkward. He asked little over year ago, but then I wasn't ready and he said lets see after couple years again.
pakieyez im really happy for u, u are happily married and u are in love so thats great :) That sounds all that I want :) And well I cant cook either so that would be one goal to focus at; learn how to cook =D
For career I dont know where to focus at, like I dont know do I want to get successful or not..I haven't never been interested being "workingwoman", but saving money for future is good tip. And here is 1,5 years till I graduate so maybe that would be good time to get married.
But like said its in God`s hands so maybe I should just live day by day and dont worry too much about future.

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Re: I feel so stuck in my life...

Life isn't just a degree and a husband, go for it if you find the right guy or if you're happy with your career but short term goals could be doing some charity work as opposed to just giving charity, it will make you feel much better about yourself and it'll give you perspective on life. I'm taking a year out from studying hopefully for a bit of travelling and charity work really, see if you can get a place on a volunteer abroad programme, it'll be a change of place and you'll feel like you've done something worthwhile :)