Re: I feel LONELY!
eshaal: What really happened to you was tragic because you were just 12 when your mom passed away. At that age we are so vulnerable because we are confused with new changes, such as with body development and active socialization. I think even though your dad loves you too much he was unable to "understand and be there for you emotionally". He was a man figure and seems like you two never discussed life after your mom's death.
A child needs a grown up to give them comfort and make sure you talk about death - so you can move on in life thereafter.
Your mom was gone, and you became responsible without knowing your true responsibilities.
I think the best thing you can do for yourself is - go out more where you can find others for more interaction. Here at GS you will find everyone really nice to listen to you about your day in and day out - whatever - and will advise you and be on your side. So you have GS to back you up !!! Now go out and MEET real people. Join clubs, organizations, find a FUN job. Find someone FALL IN LOVE! =)
Forget the issue about you and your step mom. Sometimes it's better to just let it be. If you did not feel the connection within the past five years with her - then just move on. Do not be extra sugar coated sweet to melt her away just so you can find someone to talk to.
So go - shuuuu out of your room and tell us who you met! What changes you brought in for yourself? and let GS be your guiding anchor! People here are really cool.