at Allah. I want Him to make things work for me. He has put me through alot. So many irreparable & irreversible losses but still. He is not rewarding me for my patience. How long I have to wait? Its already too late. One can’t do haram but He is making halal so difficult. What the other person is suppose to do? Then He claims that he is qadir on everything. Then why HE is not doing anything? I feel so helpless, nothing in my hands, have tried everything but Allah can to anything n everything then whats stopping Him? Please dont say that there is something good in it. Mere boore me hi meri behtri kyu hoty he meri khushi ne behtri kyu nahi hoty akhir. Why He doesn’t understand? I am done with this uncertainty, this is so mentally exhausting. I dont know what I will do that will make Him do things work my way. After trying everything i dont what else should i do? I couldn’t find any way.
As much as its easier said then done, but wisdom and patience are the two tools you are equipped with. Use them in abundance and Inshallah everything will turn out great. Life is never easy but still a gift from Almighty. You are very smart mA, get up and live your life to the best you can. You can do it!!
I too used to get angry at Allah when my kite won't go up in the air despite by best efforts. I used to try for hours before my kite would eventually rip apart due to all the failed attempts. Years later, now I just laugh it off, but back then it was the purpose of my being. I realized that we are often going through trials that are meant to refine our rank in the hereafter. If we act the way Allah wants us to act when facing a trial then we go up in rank, else down in rank. I think you are worried about your marriage. Lots of people are. We have the wrong understanding of prayers and tawaakul. Allah never said that whatever a Muslim desperately needs and asks, Allah will give it to the person. Allah has told us to do as best as we can do in terms of fulfilling our needs by taking worldly measures and then leave the rest on Allah. That is tawwakul !
You need to ask yourself if you have taken all the worldly measures as best as you can to fulfil your needs. How about health? How about grooming? How about education? How about earning a living to provide? How about using dozens of online resources ? And so on. If you have taken all those measures as best as you can, then it is definitely a trial from Allah and your reaction will determine your rank in the afterlife. If you have not taken those measures to the best of your abilities, then it is just laziness and Allah strongly dislikes lazy Muslims.
I have tried everything. Its like if i try, it never works no matter what as if there is some blockage, which hurts & gives me heartache & if i dont try then its like i am not doing anything. Niw I have realised that things will only work when Allah wants. Dua is what i have along with patience but trust ke its very difficult & exhausting. I lost my mother few months back in dec my father too, being a girl its tough for me, I dont know how everything will work out. So many questions pop up in my mind but then again I think that Allah will make it work, nothing is difficult for Him but my question is when??? Jab me qabar me jaogi tub?? I can understand trails & tests but there is only too much I can take. Its not just 1 thing, every freaking thing is stuck in my life. What am i suppose to do to make things work? I see no way & there is no guidance from Allah too, its all just my guess work. Same duas agsin & again & not a single one even answered. Whats the point of His qudrat if I wont see it where His slave & creation is crying constantly. I am not worthy enough for Him i think. Its very difficult to make peace with everything thats going on. This is very frustrating when wverything backfires no matter how hard i try. Allah should understand, He need to understand. If He wont then who else will??
My childhood, my teenage, my adulthood in every phase of my life i went through alot again thinking one dayy one dayyy Allah will do reham on me but nothing happened & i font see anything happening either & now with no parents in the scene
Whats the compensation for “each & everything” that I went through my entire freaking life?? I dont think there is any compensation. Allah has only jannat to offer.
Sometimes I wonder that is He even listening??? Sometimes i think i am being used as i am just His puzzle piece to fit in the bigger picture so He can do good for his "favourite" people otherwise there will be a chain reaction. I am worthless for Him hence no response to my prayers. There is freaking no way out as long as Allah wants me out. Whatever i have been through took a toll on my mental & emotional health. Those scars can not be cured. I dont know what Allah wants from me.
^^^ First of all I am sorry to hear that you lost both of your parents. That is indeed quite a big hit to take, especially at your age. I know a few people who had to go through that early on in their lives and getting married became a huge problem for them. I have one advice for you that you should remember even if you forget everything else. Do not trust anyone regarding your marriage, not even your brothers and sisters. Other than our parents no one sincerely cares whether we get married or not. Everyone has an agenda. If your getting married serves their agenda they will be for it, if keeping you unmarried serves their agenda they will reject every proposal. And the worst part is that no one who has not been in your situation will be able to relate with your problems. Make your own strategy leaving out everyone else. Find a nice man yourself who will accept you without your family’s involvement. Make sure you don’t get taken advantage of by some evil man though.
Example#1: I knew this really good looking and educated lady who eagerly wanted to marry a guy, but her married elder sister kept rejecting the proposals over one excuse or another. So that guy was also rejected by the elder sister. The agenda of the older sister was to use the younger sister as a maasi and serve as a baby sitter for her children for several more years. After 10 years the younger sister realized but it was too late by that time and the elder sister’s children had already grown up so she too couldn’t care less.
Example#2: A Cancer surgeon in US wasn’t able to get married because his mother was too sick to be able to do anything, father had passed away and his sister-in-laws were competing with each other to get their own relatives chosen and they would reject every girl proposed by anyone else. He used to live alone in the US, his family was in Pakistan. He realized that after wasting 20 years of his life, and was damaged so badly that he married the first woman who agreed after that.
I can give a few more examples of perfectly fine people not being able to get married because they were relying on others after their parents had passed away. The lesson here is that you must take matters in to your own hands entirely. When you have decided to do that, then post your question here as to how you can get wedding and marriage done with zero family involvement.
As far as you praying to Allah is concerned, please keep in mind that Allah can do whatever He wants but wants his people make full effort first. Haven’t you seen how when ever Muslims are in trouble, killed, mosques are being destroyed, Quran is being burned, etc. but all Muslims do is that they pray to Allah that Allah Himself do something about it. That reminds me of the Quran 2:246 in which Allah ordered the Bani Israel to fight but instead they made excuses and asked Allah to fight for them instead. Then Allah punished them. So we have to do everything that we can first including making our own plans of action, and take action. Then we leave success and failure on Allah.
