I dont want to get married.

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: I dont want to get married.

nadz - I just don't get it!

why would a girl who has lived all her life abroad - would even agree to move to Pakistan?

It all seems like a trap to me.

You are saying that you will be baack in UK for 18 months, and then move back?

This just seems bizaare!

I think your in-laws know it very well that within 18 months you will have a kid and for who you will want to stay back in UK. They are also well aware that "showing" they are in good financial position - they do not "need" to be in UK - meaning they do not need YOUR support to be "exported" to UK.

It just seems that you will be one heck of a confused person.

What was the MOST time you ever stayed in Pakistan?

22

Re: I dont want to get married.

man you're gonna be bored as hell there! let's say you're stuck at home. want to go out shopping? sorry, you have to wait for someone else to escort you. hungry for dinner? oops you're going to need your hubby. go for a walk alone? not possible. ever. i stayed in pakistan 3 months and the only time i saw a lady alone was a very old beggar. otherwise girls never go out alone. yup...wearing a burqa there is gonna get you 100x more stares than wearing even your underwear in public there. here's what can happen:

  1. call off the wedding--> parents freak out, saying they're gonna die of shame--->be firm --->parents will be pissed off for several months, maybe a family fight --->you stay on the DL and just placate your parents by saying you will agree to any UK boy.

  2. you move there--->hate it--->depressed and bored in house--->get flabby from being totally sedentary ---->get a divorce and come back
    or stay married and return
    or stay married and stay there forever.

  3. you move there --->happy --->have kids--->stay in peshawar OR move to ISB OR move to UK

23

Re: I dont want to get married.

^ None of the above can happen unless Nadz TALKS to her family and fiance. She's gotta open her mouth and talk about things.

Nadz, I'm not criticizing, but if you're worried, you should talk things out honey. Now I'm confused about one thing. You've been raised in the West. And your parents know that moving to Pak will be a HUGE change for you considering your Western upbringing. Now.....why did you parents agree to the match? Is it because they **only and strictly **wanted you to marry a cousin (regardless of where he was from or where he lived)????? Parents should consider all points including upbringing, location, compatibility, etc.

Because....that doesn't seem like a practical view point (if that was the case).

24

i was being serious, you need 12 more years to become adult. It's my duty as man to save another man life.

ps. when your eyes are rolling outta your head, can you take picture and post here ?

25

me likey :] hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha

26

Re: I dont want to get married.

I think telling her to call off the wedding is a bit harsh... I know some girls who have left London to go back and live with Inlaws... and their extreely happy living is very relaxed out there. It could be her hubbys wish aswell to live abroad.

Nads DONT call it off. Theres nothing wrong with your fiance from what ive gathered from previous posts hes shareef and will keep u happy. Simply moving abroad is not a big enough reason to call it off c'mon guys im sure shes thought it over! if u dont like it out there im sure u can let them know but if you can adjust then you should. Dont know how long you've been engaged for but im sure you have weighed out all the pros and cons... Its cold feet dear nothing more!
..x..

27

Re: I dont want to get married.

Nadz do us all a favour and call it off

end the tension nce and for all!

And i also feel your in-laws want to settle in u.k.

Everything going on right now is part of a big Game Plan.

And at the centre.

And i dont get this thing that you will get married then come back and live here for 18 months then go back again?

I strongnly hypothesise that you be having too much of a big stomach to be able to come back.

Timepass April 2013
28

lmao.... hahahahhahahahahaha best one i heard this week:p

29

Well said. I agree.

You all are just scaring her by making it out to be a bigger deal than it is. Instead of reassuring her, you're telling her to call off her wedding. She's just scared of going into the unknown. That's very common with ANY girl getting married, no matter where she's moving to.

As for a girl being raised abroad not being able to live in Pakistan: not true. I just went through what nadz is going through. I was born in Canada and raised in the USA all my life, got married in Peshawar in December and lived there for the past 6 months. I currently got back to the USA and will be here for the next year or so....but then, it's likely I'll be going back to Peshawar again. It's an almost identical situation. And you know what? I really loved my time in Peshawar and am excruciatingly missing it right now and wanting to go back.

Adjusting is hard, no matter where you're moving to. My sister got married and moved only 3 hours away from my parents, but she had a very rough time of it as well. It's hard starting a new life. But the location does not have to be an issue, as long as you adapt yourself to the environment and not expect the environment and people to adapt to you.

30

Re: I dont want to get married.

^ awesome post :k:

31

Re: I dont want to get married.

Nadz! listen to what sophiaQ said.. Good luck :)

32

Re: I dont want to get married.

Ofcoures they wil say ke its fine Hum bhee reh rahe hain. They are used to of it whereas, u r not. I wil be a huge adjustment problem for you. You will resent everything and that eventually will effect your relationship with your husband. You try to convince your husband to move out of there later on or try to form a kind of compromise six months there six months in UK.

33

Re: I dont want to get married.

oh Nadz...u still stressed out....you should be fine...Peshawar is not a bad place...i loved Peshawar, you need to relax, once you are inside your house with your hubby and family you wont know whether you are in England or Peshawar, home is where the heart is,you need to adapt...and you need to chill out a bit...marriage is hard work and takes alot of adjusting and adapting to new circumstances and situations... you need to make a committment for richer for poorer, sickness and health,Peshwar and England...:)

34

Re: I dont want to get married.

No offense Nadz, but you should of thought about this before getting engaged. Im sure it probably is just cold feet, but than again, if you are posting this maybe its not. I know almost everyone has cold feet and gets nervous, but you need to understand the reality. Everybody needs somebody sometime. We all need a life partner, and at one point or another it will be best for you to get married. If you have found someone that is a good guy, hold on to him. It's hard to find good guys. Also in my opinion its better to get married sooner than later, because the older you get the more set you are in your ways, and it becomes harder to adjust and compromise. If you get married young you can grow together.

35

Re: I dont want to get married.

good point Db about getting married when you are younger...also long engagements don't work...its best to do the 'chat mangani pat vya'...no time for doubts

36

Re: I dont want to get married.

Yeah pyaare thats tru. I think the engagement should be long enuff to get the wedding preparations done. As soon as everything is in order Shaadi should be done ASAP.