Face it cat. He has a crush on you.
cat.. they wont blame you for anything... they know its their son whose in the wrong...
18 yr olds do tend to go a bit wild once they are on their own and do get themselves into messes... and sometimes when they have a person around like urself.. they think they are safe no matter what they do...
i reckon take Matsui's advice... tell ur mum and ask her to talk to his mum... but before doing that i think u should have a lil talk with him as well.. treat him like an adult though.. not a kid (even though hes very much acting like a love sick bollywood hero)..
p.s been in situations where parents expect me to look after their teenagers.. and then in the end when the teenager is getting grilled they mention ur name and u end up feeling responsible for their wrong doing... good luck
Cat woman for a case like his would you rather be known as the gal who knew and did not say anything or the one who did especailly if he goes and does a dumb thing again.
if he was your brother what would you want the a gal in your place to do, good or bad as it may look to the guy himself.
For him slashing wrists may be just an event of little significance but for parents who have taken care and rasied him for 18 years it a different story (if he had lost someone of that age he would realise it too!)
You may even want to invite him to your place after you tell your mum know so that he can be at home and perhaps plan for his folks to meet him there.
Its a delicate issue but your first issue is to ensure he does not do anything dumb again.
Damn kids think bringing up children for 18 years is a piece of cake.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Matsui: *
..those fleeting moments of profundity are all I have at my age.
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We know that. We get sick and tired of you complaining about the side efects of your age.
PS Excusez moi....its not side effects! ;)
Cat,
It's not your problem! Dont bother too much about it. Make it their problem
He caused it, and should also be responsible for the consequences.
Matsui is spot on. Getting too directly involved might cause problems with other friends and what's essentially his problem will end up becoming yours. I would try and maintain a bit of distance from it at least so just giving a warning to his parents is enough IMO.
I don't talk to my friends about the situation. But my parents have been really concerned ever since I told them and basically they've dropped a few hints to his parents now. Let's see what happens.
Oh and he's back with his gf.
How can all of you say its not your problem. Stay away from it etc etc?
If he was your brother would it be your problem? But if he is a friends or a more distant relative he is not your problem? It just sounds like people dont like to take responsibilities for their actions or are afraid of making mistakes.
Its like telling a drunk friend its not my problem if I am not in your car when you are drunk and driving. jeezzzzzz talk about friends! I hope mine tell me when I do dumb and stupid things and value the bond of friendship more then the bond of doing something wrong.
hmcq sometimes I wonder if the things I say to him really get through his head. He's not going to listen to me, I've tried. Every time I talk to him its "Yes Cat Baji, I understand, I know". and he's back to his same routine. I almost gave up on him. My parents have been calling me about this matter for one week now and after careful consideration they decided how to approach the subject.
if he was your brother what would you do? Would you give up on him?
no I wouldnt hmcq, I can be very protective over the people i care about. But I think he takes me for granted and at the end of the day he isnt my blood brother and isnt my responsibility. His habits this year have disgusted me. At the same time I know he takes me as a sister. I dont know what to do.
Before he gets himself into more trouble than he already has, I think his parents need to take action. And for that either your parents or you yourself need to tell them about it.
I know that it does make you uncomfortable, but the circumstances sound serious enough to do that.
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*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
no I wouldnt hmcq, I can be very protective over the people i care about. But I think he takes me for granted and at the end of the day he isnt my blood brother and isnt my responsibility. His habits this year have disgusted me. At the same time I know he takes me as a sister. I dont know what to do.
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Its not about blood or lack there of. its how much you care about the individual. Afterall spouses are not blood related yet you wont leave them just like that right? the only thing there may be the verbal/written contract or marriage. So whats the difference here?
wow! that's pretty messed up!
Well it's a good thing you told your parents and tried talking to him.. his parents need to know too so it sounds like things are headed in the right direction..
Man I had a cousin who was 18 and got himself in all sorts of trouble. His parents expected me to fix him!? which was ridiculous cause I was just visiting for a few weeks.. there's not much you can do.
I basically gave him a peace of my mind and told him he needs to take responsibility for his own actions etc while at the same time being supportive and letting him know we all make mistakes..
I hear he's doing ok now.. still it really ticked me off the way his parents just sat back and pretended nothing was wrong!?
Waqas