Re: I deserve a youth
Sara dear, my parents were like that when I was in high school I didnt participate in any social stuff at all and I was lacking behind when it came to how to deal with guys in general n stuff like that.
When I was in 9th grade my class was going to London for 1 week trip. And I soooo wanted to go!!my parents refused but I kept on discussion with them and finally I was allowed to go. After that I have been allowed to travel with school, college, uni, and job. And I have been to somewhat 10-13 countires on my own in the past years.
I found out that my mother feared alcohol and I told her that if she believes in the values she has brought me up with, she must feel confident about me. and Alhamdulillah it helped a lot!!!
So that was the travelling part.
But I have still issues like hanging out with friends. I work hard and once in a while I want to hang out with friends. But this can be a cause to discussions still. Especially because my best friend is still not really "approved" after 11 years' friendship cuz of family differences n stuff.
Back in uni I lied a lot (God forgive me!!!) I told my parents that I am working on assignments with my project group at uni or something like that, but I felt that I had to find a way out to hang out with my friends and I really have had good and fun times with my female friends and we havent even been close to anything wrong - besides lieing to our parents...
My parents neer had an issue with the late classes, or late project working hours. I came home 4.a.m for a week in my last week of thesis work (and yes that was real thesis work!) and my parent were surprisingly ok with that.
So with my parents, it has been ok to travel and stay out late when it came to study and work, but when it comes to friends and being social they would rather see me at home 24/7.
But believe me, it has been a long proces in which I have gained their confidence that I dont do anything wrong, no boys, no drugs, no alcohol - all pure n clean. So once they knew that I am strong in my values, they have given me more freedom.
Regarding your parents I think they are feeling self pitiness about how ur bro has "disappointed" them. So know they think that by being extra strict to you they can ensure that you will live up to their dreams etc.
I suggest that you talk to your mum about how women in PK live, how opressing that must feel like...then talk about the difference between nyc n lhr and how women live in usa..then talk about how a strong woman can survive anywhere as long as she is strong in her values..
you need to "win" their confidence and let them know that they can trust you and that ur defintion of freedom is not the same as ur bros....and that u love them and wud never hurt them
good luck dear:)