I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just can’t say no when I actually want to.
A girl recently asked me for my number, and I gave it when I didn’t want to. I’m quite a private person, so it did bother me when I gave it. Also, this girl didn’t want my number so she could socialise or whatever, but she wanted it so that she could ask me for help when she is stuck on uni work.
And then the same girl wanted my work because she hadn’t done it - I wasn’t too fussed about that, but still slightly annoyed. And then afterwards she wanted help again when her other friend didn’t help her. She is somewhat using me and I know it, yet I can’t say no to her. It’s worse when we’re face-to-face. This weekend she text me to ask for help, but I told her I wasn’t planning on doing the work until next week, although I knew what I had to do for it. Ok, so I felt a bit bad, but this girl is really clingy and annoying.
Now tell me some excuses…I need an excuse should anyone else ask me for my number for work purposes, and when someone asks me for work again.
Why make excuses? If you are not good friends and you know she is using you, I would just not respond to her messages/ calls...and avoid her...she will get the message.
it can be difficult to say no.. but gather up the courage and say it now before she really gets on your nerves and you have to add a few more words to the no .
It's hard to avoid her because we're in a small sem group and she's there. I'm at uni for most of the week, it's incredibly hard to avoid her. I feel it's pretty rude as well, although I don't really care either. Damn these morals in me!!
You're evil, :p But on a serious note I think soon as you pluck up the courage to say no. You'll be fine. Only you can do that nobody can help you with that.
I know what you mean, people can be like that and I dont mind helping people but once it starts getting borderline selfish or rude, you have to put your foot down. I think it's too late to put your foot down in this sense because you gave her your number so technically it isn't her "fault". Just slowly cut her out or help when it's easy for you. Taking your work is not acceptable in any way, shape or form so it's best to politely say you worked at it and how if caught, both of you would be in trouble. Let her know you can help if necessary but it's best to do your own work. She'll get the hint and move on.
Is it wise to never give your phone number to a colleague? One day, DP, you might find yourself in a situation where you need a colleague's number. I have the phone numbers of a few of my colleagues, but I rarely call them unless it's an urgent matter. And I think that's the case with most people. This girl is a problem.....not because she asked you for your number and you gave it to her.......but because she's needy, lazy, and uses people. And you're aware of that.
You can be direct and still be nice. The next time she asks you for help, you can tell her "I don't mind helping if the person has sincerely attempted the assignment, but this seems to be happening often. And one of the times you asked me for help was because you hadn't done the work. I'm not accusing you of using me, but this is how I feel. The professor can give you a more clearer explanation of the assignment and what they're looking for. Perhaps you can try that and I hope it helps." If you can't say this in person, then consider saying it on the phone or in email.
If you don't want to be direct, then you can (as others above have suggested).....avoid her calls, or tell her that you didn't do the assignment. If she approaches you on campus, just calmly tell her "I didn't really understand the assignment myself, so I don't feel comfortable sharing it with anyone. Maybe you can ask someone else or the professor for help." She can't really say anything to you after that. If she gives you a bad attitude, so what? It's her problem. You shouldn't care about how she perceives you....and after the class is over, you're not going to be around her much. Don't assume that anyone and everyone who asks for help in the future is using you. And it can be useful to exchange numbers.
By not saying no and being honest, you are not only making it hard for yourself but also for the other person. Maybe this girl helps other people a lot and so she thinks it is ok to ask for help as well. Not everyone is as hesitant in asking for help if they need it. Also, some people don't get it until you are a bit more honest and clear with them about what exactly you want (I am on of those people..i need to be told in clear words, i dont get mixed messages or gestures etc. infact, that is a reason i avoid 'nice' ppl bc they never speak their minds and that is scary for me).
I would not lie and make up an excuse. I would just disappear, i.e. not take her calls.
Ok, so here's the plan....next time she asks for any work, I'm going to say 'I have done it, but I'm not going to give it to you because I want you to do it yourself, because that's the only way you'll learn and your self-esteem will grow'. And ofcourse, I will smile whilst telling her that. :)
The other girl she hangs around with usually tells her that she didn't understand the question herself, so she doesn't want to say, in case it's wrong. I'll try this one if the above fails, lol.
It’s worse when we’re face-to-face. This weekend she text me to ask for help, but I told her I wasn’t planning on doing the work until next week, although I knew what I had to do for it. Ok, so I felt a bit bad, but this girl is really clingy and annoying.
:k:
i learned one thing: if can’t say ‘NO’, don’t say ‘YES’ either! 
