none of which has ended in divorce but i have witnessed 4 nikahs without rukhsati where the couple divorced b4 rukhsati. 2 in which girl thought they were incompatible and 2 where the boy broke it. All 4 were arranged.
Is long duration between Nikah and rukhsati make it harder for people to understand each other properly?
Re: I attended five weddings last year
Nah the people who got married are idiots.
Re: I attended five weddings last year
Being divorced makes one an idiot?
Re: I attended five weddings last year
Agreeing to a marriage where you don't feel compatible makes you an idiot.
Getting married when you don't feel its compatible makes you an idiot.
Then not giving it a chances makes you an idiot.
Lastly getting the divorce before you have moved in together to see if the marriage can still works makes you an idiot.
So yeah idiot to the power for 4.
Re: I attended five weddings last year
If you are not living together under one roof, it would be hard to get to know someone especially if it was arranged.
Re: I attended five weddings last year
Agreeing to a marriage where you don't feel compatible makes you an idiot. Getting married when you don't feel its compatible makes you an idiot. Then not giving it a chances makes you an idiot. Lastly getting the divorce before you have moved in together to see if the marriage can still works makes you an idiot.
So yeah idiot to the power for 4.
That's an unusually harsh and narrow minded view CM.
How do you even know if you're compatible unless you get to know someone? It's not like desis can date extensively before deciding if they want to marry.
How many chances is one supposed to give before calling it quits?
One can argue--better to break now than years later when things would get messier, like if kids were involved.
You can still hang in and make all sorts of compromises and every effort to make it work, but
I doubt anyone that was close to all 4 can even say what exactly happened. For all we know, each side could have raised huge red flags that only came about after having the nikkah.
Re: I attended five weddings last year
…and I thought this was hareem’s thread and just a continuation of it 
Re: I attended five weddings last year
That's an unusually harsh and narrow minded view CM.
How do you even know if you're compatible unless you get to know someone? It's not like desis can date extensively before deciding if they want to marry.
How many chances is one supposed to give before calling it quits?
One can argue--better to break now than years later when things would get messier, like if kids were involved.
You can still hang in and make all sorts of compromises and every effort to make it work, but
I doubt anyone that was close to all 4 can even say what exactly happened. For all we know, each side could have raised huge red flags that only came about after having the nikkah.
They got married yet got divorced before Rukhsati. I am confused as to how its not idiotic? So literally you got married, moved back to your home and then decided ehhh....i don't like being married so lets get a divorce.
Re: I attended five weddings last year
I think divorce is more complex than we think.
Re: I attended five weddings last year
Mmmm, most ppl who get nikkahed are already living at home? 
so it’s you get married, still live at home, communicate/go out with the partner (unless for immigration reasons, the delayed rukhsati is so that couples can “date” freely), more like “hey I don’t like thsi about you and I don’t think we have a future together so let’s split up.”
like I said…sannu ki pata what happened between those 4 couples. maybe some felt that some things came up that were total dealbreakers and didn’t want to stay married. I mean, it’s sad all around.
That’s the thing–not everyone is in a fortunate position to speak up if they think they may not be compatible with their future partners. They may doubt their own instincts and not trust them, immense family pressure, etc.
Re: I attended five weddings last year
Yes I don't know the details. Nor do I know the reasons but I am pretty certain they could have been solved before getting married. Marriage is not a joke. My generation is full of idiots.
Re: I attended five weddings last year
Agreeing to a marriage where you don't feel compatible makes you an idiot. Getting married when you don't feel its compatible makes you an idiot. Then not giving it a chances makes you an idiot. Lastly getting the divorce before you have moved in together to see if the marriage can still works makes you an idiot.
So yeah idiot to the power for 4.
ok switch "idiot" with "desi" :D
Re: I attended five weddings last year
none of which has ended in divorce but i have witnessed 4 nikahs without rukhsati where the couple divorced b4 rukhsati. 2 in which girl thought they were incompatible and 2 where the boy broke it. All 4 were arranged.
Question: Do you know if the couples were allowed to communicate with each other over a period of at least several weeks or months (by phone, e-mail, supervised get-togethers etc.) BEFORE the nikah? From the time the couples met each other for the very first time (or communicated if they were in different locations).......how long after did the nikah take place?
Not a fan of long engagements and definitely not a fan of nikah months before the rukhsati. Chut mangni put biya really should be the only rule.
Re: I attended five weddings last year
Sad to know this .. may be the generation is not mature enough to understand the respect of marriage .. its not a game. Its life.
Really feeling sad.
none of which has ended in divorce but i have witnessed 4 nikahs without rukhsati where the couple divorced b4 rukhsati. 2 in which girl thought they were incompatible and 2 where the boy broke it. All 4 were arranged.
Is long duration between Nikah and rukhsati make it harder for people to understand each other properly?
Re: I attended five weddings last year
Not a fan of long engagements and definitely not a fan of nikah months before the rukhsati. Chut mangni put biya really should be the only rule.
Yep, unless necessary I think long engagements or nikahs before rukhsati just cause problems. Although I do agree that before anything official takes place the two parties should talk about things that are most important to them. That was there are no major differences and in the process get to know each other.