Hellow,
here are some medium class jokes for all, hope you will like it.
Man goes into a bank and up to the cashier’s desk. “I want to open a Goddam checking account,” the man snarls.
“I beg your pardon, sir?”, the startled female teller replies.
“Listen, you dumb bimbo, I said I want to open a goddam checking account.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t help you if you’re going to talk like that.”
She leaves the window, walks over to the bank manager and whispers in his ear.
The two return and the manager asks, stiffly, “What seems to be the problem here?”
“There’s no problem!” the man insists. “I just won ten million dollars in the lottery, and I want to open a GODDAMN checking account!”
“I see sir,” the manager quickly replies, “and this bitch giving you a hard time, is she?”
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were “protecting.” Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn’t be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.
Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it
in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector.
The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can’t communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.
The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, “Ask him where da money is.”
The interpreter signs, “Where’s the money?”
The deaf man replies, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The interpreter tells the hood, “He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”
The hood pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector.
“Now ask him where the money is!”
The interpreter signs, “Where is the money?”
The deaf man replies, “The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park.”
The interpreter says to the hood, “He says he still doesn’t know what you’re talking about, and doesn’t think you have the courage to pull the trigger.”
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine in a Las Vegas casino, puts in a few coins, and out pops a Coke. She puts some more coins into the machine, and another can of soda pops out. She keeps putting in coins, and cans of soda keep coming out.
A guy walks up behind her and says, “Can I please use the machine?”
“Get lost!” she says. “Can’t you see I’m winning?”
The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail all day. When they had stopped to take a rest Tonto placed his
ear to the ground and listened.
“Buffalo come,” remarked Tonto.
“How can you tell, Tonto?” asked the Lone Ranger.
“Face sticky.”
Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says,
“What’s the first thing you see when you look at me?” The guy says, “That’s not too hard, you’ve got no ears.” The interviewer
says, “That’s it, get out, you’ll never be seen around here again.”
The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question. The applicant replies, “Uh, you’ve got no ears.” The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he’ll never get a job with his company.
As the second guy is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, “Listen man, whatever you do, don’t say he hasn’t got
any ears. He’s so touchy with the ear thing.” “Okay,” said man #3 on his
way into the office. Once inside he is told, “Name the first thing you notice when you look at me.”
The guy answers, “That’s easy, you wear contacts.” The interviewer was labbergasted, “How on earth did you know that, son?”
The applicant answered, "What?
Are you stupid? You can’t wear
glasses, you’ve got no ears!"
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling,
"SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU
see ya
A friend
Ata…