For the last 3 months literlly all I have been doing is studying non stop for 15 hours a day to pass my final exams.
I found out on friday that Allhamdoulillah i passed my exams (and became a doctor ) which I worked very hard for but I honestly thought I had failed because the exams were incredibly tough.
Since passing though I don’t really feel happy I actually kind of feel depressed and quite teary and my parents are getting really confused and angry with me…
I have a few theories as to why but I just dont know why I am behaving in such a way.
All my friends have gone to Peru/Brazil and Belize for 2 months, I was not allowed to go because my parents felt it was unsafe, since passing my exam I have done nothing to celebrate really. All my friends are like omg weare doctors now we are going to chill for 2 months and my life consists off omg im a doctor now im sitting in my room with nothing to do…I am really upset with my parents for not letting me go.
My mum is now OBSESSING over my rishta, 10 mins after I got my result it was all about getting my eye brows done and going for a facial so i look pretty for the aunties who come and visit me. I dont want to think about my rishta right now and I have told my parents this but they dont understand,to them normal pakistani girl progression is -graduate…get married…have babies…etc etc thats not what I want right now. I have just passed my exams I want to do something for me and just enjoy
Maybe its that for 3 months I was SO busy and now I have nothing to do which is remotely enjoyable, with all my friends abroad I have cleaned my room about 5 times and watched loads of tv…now what?
sigh. Can someone please give me some perspective some advice? I know I am probably being silly/irrational.
Re: I am weird/something is wrong with me - need perspective please
From what i can make out, you are not happy because finishing exams mean going through the rishta ordeal. Your being busy with your studies meant that you could postpon this rishta process for some time but now most likely you won't be able to hence the unhappiness. If you don't want to get married right now and have good reasons for it then you should definately let your parents know this as their is just no reason you should jump into marriage and make not only your life hell but your partners too.
Re: I am weird/something is wrong with me - need perspective please
You finished something very difficult. All students feel burnt out at the end, especially if they worked as hard as you did (15 hours?! you're crazy).
What do *you *want to do right now? If you want to go with your friends, then go. If you want to sit around watching movies all day, then do that. But do something for yourself because you need to recharge after putting in so much work.
Re: I am weird/something is wrong with me - need perspective please
Congrats Insi :). Sooo happy for you
I guess its the change which is making you sad. You will be leaving your uni friends behind and will be heading towards a career. Besides, the torturous rishta process will be started again.
Just take it easy honey. First accept that your life will not be the same again since you graduated (if you plan on doing some specialisation, its a difference case then). Accept the fact that you will have to go through the torture of rishta process until you are engaged. Be strong.
Identify your options about celebrating your graduation. It might include your parents. Ask your parents if they are interested in a family vacation. Or they might allow you to visit some family in another country where they will feel safe to let you go alone. Is there any marriage coming up in the family even in Pakistan and you might plan to visit? How about enrolling in some hobby classes like pottery or learning piano (anything which you like)?
Re: I am weird/something is wrong with me - need perspective please
One of my friend, after couple of weeks becoming a doctor, took 3-4 months break from the 'life'. He was so exhausted, he decided that to recharge he want to do NOTHING For 3-4 months. All he did was 2..3..4 hours job at Tim Hortons, McDonalds etc just to get his pocket money before going into residency.
Re: I am weird/something is wrong with me - need perspective please
Congrats!!
I know how you’re feeling - I felt like that after my exams too, but luckily I went back to education after a week, lol. Seriously though, it’s just a change in your routine which you’ve become so used to and that’s why you’re feeling the way you are.
As for the rishta process, well you should really sit down and talk to your parents about it if you’re not ready and I’m sure they will understand if you tell them this in a firm manner.
Re: I am weird/something is wrong with me - need perspective please
Frist off: CONGRATULATIONS!!
I felt the same way after graduating and I think it's pretty normal to need some time to get used to big changes like that. Add to that the fact that you see your friends going off celebrating and being left behind, plus the rishta pressure...it's no wonder you're feeling a bit down.
You have two options:
You sit around waiting for your next thing (specialization/shadi/job/whatever) hoping you start to feel happier soon or
You take this time off and make it positive. So you didn't get to go with your friends...doesn't mean there are no other ways to celebrate. Talk to our parents, let them know you need something to celebrate, I'm sure they'll understand where you're coming from...
Re: I am weird/something is wrong with me - need perspective please
Congratulations .
You are bored, you wanted to do something your parents didn't allow you to and rishta talk.
Find something else you love to do & postpone the rishta talk :)
Re: I am weird/something is wrong with me - need perspective please
Thanks everyone for the advice and the congrats! I guess I feel better that I am not a weirdo afterall and its normal to feel a little blue at this stage.
Re: I am weird/something is wrong with me - need perspective please
:k:
Inspi, congratulationsssssssssssssssssssss!
Okay so it wasn’t fair of your parents to not let you go because you deserve the celebration BUT I understand why they wouldn’t. Since you cannot change it, don’t think about it again.
Instead, try to think of something you would like to do that would be fun and wouldn’t cause problems at home either. You NEED to do something…lol. Reward yourself with something. But you have to celebrate…its your right and I think you feel like you just got gypped.
I actually kind of feel depressed and quite teary and my parents are getting really confused and angry with me…
