Every time hubby and I get into an argument he says or does something mean and will give me the silent treatment. I vow to give him the silent treatment back but within an hour or two my anger is completely gone and I’m totally fine. I hate this because I feel like people can say or do whatever they want without any consequences. This has been an issue since I was little, I just can’t stay angry at anyone no matter what they do! I know this is a good trait, but it gets frustrating at times!
Every time hubby and I get into an argument he says or does something mean and will give me the silent treatment. I vow to give him the silent treatment back but within an hour or two my anger is completely gone and I'm totally fine. I hate this because I feel like people can say or do whatever they want without any consequences. This has been an issue since I was little, I just can't stay angry at anyone no matter what they do! I know this is a good trait, but it gets frustrating at times!
Well.....SOMEONE.....has to be the more laid-back/tolerant/mature person in the marriage.
If BOTH partners are going to be equally uptight/petty/and have ego issues....how will the relationship ever progress?. If you both become so determined not to drop the silent treatment unless the other person talks first............then NOBODY would talk in the marriage.
Many people struggle with getting over issues. They end up developing grudges they have a hard time letting go of. These grudges consume so much of your energy, take valuable time out of your life, and just plain wreaks havoc on your body. I recently read an article which said that stress creates an acidic environment in your body.........which increases the chances of developing cancer. SO........Mirch............if your nature contradicts your nick......and if you're milder than a mirch............consider yourself blessed. I know, I need to work on letting some issues go.
Anyhow, I think your issue is not that you get over things quickly, but maybe that you're not communicating yourself clearly to your husband. Just talk to him calmly without getting defensive. Tell him that you love him and that you value your marriage. Tell him that you believe that arguments are natural in a marriage but that silent treatments can harm it, because it's a way of imposing control on someone. People think that giving the silent treatment will make the other person feel guilty and make them surrender.....or talk first, etc. It's a mind game. Tell him that you feel that you tend to get over issues quickly and resume talking....whereas when he's upset.....you get the silent treatment for a longer period.....and that this hurts you (if it does). Talk it out and reach a compromise.
It could also be that your husband's "silent treatment" is his way of taking a break from a stressful situation. Some people.....don't like to fuel arguments. Instead they prefer to change the subject or take a break from the person and cool down. Maybe he's trying to cool down during this "silent treatment".....because he fears that dwelling on an issue would make it worse. That's something to consider. But, yeah, if your're disturbed about it.....discuss it with him.
Re: I am too forgiving and I hate it!
i think you should make him sleep on the couch.
anyone who does the "silent treatment"/stonewalling is not worth the trouble, but that is just my opinion.
Re: I am too forgiving and I hate it!
He's usually very sweet and caring but when we get into a fight it's like he can't control his emotions. We'll fight about something sooo dumb and it's like "get over it already!"
Re: I am too forgiving and I hate it!
^ sounds like someone else i know :)
it happens... As long as u treasure the good moments and keep them happening, it'll be ok.
how long have u been together for?
Re: I am too forgiving and I hate it!
Awww lalmirch, i understand it can be frusturating to always be the one at the giving end. But its a gift i must say to not let your anger get the better of you, believe me. This quality will take you far and no matter what your hubbby says now, deep down im sure he respects u all the more for the same.
You don't need to change yrself as long as its nt to the extent that u just let go of yrself n yr self esteem.
Re: I am too forgiving and I hate it!
Thats jus relationships, unfortunetly. It happens with me and my bf all the time. The argument always escalates. Which always ends up that we both say something, mean and cold, and its really stupid. But because of your nature he takes advantage because he can see the pattern you'll ignore him for 1-2 hours, he'll get some peace of 1-2 hours. Then when your normal again, hes cool because you two aint arguing, when your silent, and when you start talking again your gonna be fine with him and what he said.
In future i suggest you jus ignore him for the DAY. Then see how he apologises. And if he doesnt ummm.... make him sleep on the sofa! haha :p
Re: I am too forgiving and I hate it!
I am too forgiving and I love it....... It makes sure we dont have too many bumps in my relationships with anyone
Re: I am too forgiving and I hate it!
laalmirch - that like “every” married relationship.
I do that… of course I learned it from hubby :halo:
^ sounds like someone else i know :)
it happens... As long as u treasure the good moments and keep them happening, it'll be ok.
how long have u been together for?
we've been together for abt 5 years. i just hate this stupid cycle, why can't we just be nice and stay nice? or atleast not say mean things to each other when we fight! Bah! I miss being single sometimes!
update: i didnt talk to him the entire day and he apologized! i'm not really mad any more but i think im going to milk this for all it's worth. Yes, im evil like that.
Re: I am too forgiving and I hate it!
You're doing nothing wrong
we've been together for abt 5 years. i just hate this stupid cycle, why can't we just be nice and stay nice? or atleast not say mean things to each other when we fight! Bah! I miss being single sometimes!
update: i didnt talk to him the entire day and he apologized! i'm not really mad any more but i think im going to milk this for all it's worth. Yes, im evil like that.
Well done darling!! That ALWAYS works without fail!!!!