Wow you people are a very judgemental set of individuals. No wonder the ummah is in such dire straits if people just concentrate on what is wrong and not help a person in need out. Talk about pathetic. So much for kindness and tolerance.
Marriage is an institution for those who don't believe in marriage. I have heard this tirade for ages. So what if it is an institution? What is wrong with it being an institution? The reason most westerners have a problem with marriage is that they don't want to offer the commitment and they believe it is an arachic form of religious indoctrination.
What you need to find out is do you believe it?
As for love being blind. It is. You over look the faults in your loved ones more than anybody else. I am just surprised people are so easily influenced by the cliches in a negative aspect. Love being blind is not a bad thing. After all justice is blind does that mean the connatation is negative? In this case justice being blind is positive and love is definitely a positive emotion.
You in my opinion should have 4 or 5 questions which you need to answer.
Will it work? Will your marriage work?
Will you be able to convert for her?
Will you be able to be loyal etc.
Is it something you want. Do you want to marry her.
If you hesitate on any of these matters to a great deal you are not ready. A personal normally knows their limits consciously or subconsciously. Just do what you feel is right and not what you might think may happen somewhere down the line.
Marriage is an institution. A positive one. After all no man can tolerate his wife or girl sleeping around with other men. Love is blind but that again is a good thing. It means unconditional loyalt etc.
Don't fall for the stereotypes that plague society about everything that is linked to religion being negative.
So Todd how long do you think she will stick around for you to make ur decision about the religion u follow? You probably need to take a decision sometime soon, cos I doubt she will wait around for ever. and if that is something u think u'll never come around to then tell her now and save both of u time and hurt.
If ur married to someone u love its probably not as suffocatingly bounding as u think it may be. Meeting her family every once in a while isn't that bad is it? Won;t they be your family too after ur married? Besides im sure they have a life too :D they'd also like to do their stuff instead of entertain u every weekend:p Sons-in-law are usually treated very regally so even if u do end up visiting them often thats something u'll probably be enjoying unless ofcourse u already don;t like them. Marriage is what u make of it. Its not like they only thing married couples talk about is family planning and grocery shopping. Take charge and make it adventurous, keep the spark alive. Your marraige can be as fun as u choose to make it.
If ur married to someone u love its probably not as suffocatingly bounding as u think it may be. Meeting her family every once in a while isn't that bad is it? Won;t they be your family too after ur married? Besides im sure they have a life too :D they'd also like to do their stuff instead of entertain u every weekend:p Sons-in-law are usually treated very regally so even if u do end up visiting them often thats something u'll probably be enjoying unless ofcourse u already don;t like them. Marriage is what u make of it. Its not like they only thing married couples talk about is family planning and grocery shopping. Take charge and make it adventurous, keep the spark alive. Your marraige can be as fun as u choose to make it.
Fem, we've been together for quite sometime now. And now that life is subtle with my dream job, house and equities... I think it is time make some serious decision. Although I am not afraid of meeting anyone but being Pakistani they meet more than often, which is a little unusual for us. I think this would be one of those perks that come with tying a knot.
Marriage is an institution for those who don't believe in marriage. I have heard this tirade for ages. So what if it is an institution? What is wrong with it being an institution? The reason most westerners have a problem with marriage is that they don't want to offer the commitment and they believe it is an arachic form of religious indoctrination.
What you need to find out is do you believe it?
As for love being blind. It is. You over look the faults in your loved ones more than anybody else. I am just surprised people are so easily influenced by the cliches in a negative aspect. Love being blind is not a bad thing. After all justice is blind does that mean the connatation is negative? In this case justice being blind is positive and love is definitely a positive emotion.
You in my opinion should have 4 or 5 questions which you need to answer.
Will it work? Will your marriage work?
Will you be able to convert for her?
Will you be able to be loyal etc.
Is it something you want. Do you want to marry her.
If you hesitate on any of these matters to a great deal you are not ready. A personal normally knows their limits consciously or subconsciously. Just do what you feel is right and not what you might think may happen somewhere down the line.
Marriage is an institution. A positive one. After all no man can tolerate his wife or girl sleeping around with other men. Love is blind but that again is a good thing. It means unconditional loyalt etc.
Don't fall for the stereotypes that plague society about everything that is linked to religion being negative.
Good points Grump, will ponder some of my neurons at those...
As far as the converting to Islam goes - my opinion is that you should not convert due to the person you love. You should convert because deep inside you feel it is the right thing for you and you are going to try your hardest to be a good Muslim. It shouldn't have anything to do with whether you love someone who is a Muslim and she wants you to convert. That IMO is the wrong approach to accepting Islam.
Having said that, let's move on to the commitment question:
(again my opinion coming across)
- You should be able to answer some basic q's like Grumpy said. Here are my basic q's:
- do you see yourself growing old together? i.e. do you see yourself w/ her 20+ years down the road still loving and caring for each other
- do you see yourself raising a family together?
- do you see yourself being compatible and compassionate towards each other (this you already know since you have been dating her)
If you are hesitant on any long term types of questions then I would suggest that you don't leave her hanging.
okay no one cares about my opinion but im gonna say it anyways cause i have a big mouth. i would never ask someone to convert for me, i'd marry a converted muslim who converted for the sake of Allah and has been converted long enough to know they want, and need Islam
I always thought that according to Islam, that you can have a "gf or bf" or be in love, but you cant act on those feelings in a physical way...I'm not sure about it tho...sum1 enlighten me.
i don’t have bf n i don’t know wat love is ?