I read threads on the Life1 forum every day, almost each and every thread that i can. The problems girls are facing with their in-laws, with their husbands, with their marriages - divorces, children issues, abusage, mistreatment of in laws on even the slightest of things you do, how can one feel the motivation to get married with a positivity?
I have genuinely started getting scared, the unknown fears seem to have scaled up really high now. I am frightened that what if my Mother in law is a monster? What if my husband doesn’t care or understand me? what if my in laws are totally different from who i am and how i have been brought up? I hardly have any patience to put up with people who taunt or misbehave, how will i if, God forbid, face such a situation? Yes, when one goes to the wedding forum you feel overwhelmed after looking at beautiful jewelery, fabulous brides, gorgeous dresses but then thats a matter of just a day or a week, what will happen after that? Things that are happening with our own fellows Guppies like Loli, Sunset Eyes,Diamond321 etc. really upset me so much that i dont feel enthsusiastic about getting married and the horror of facing the in laws, even if they will be good enough but maybe i am so full of preconceived notions of monstrous in laws that i will not be able to accept them.
How can one feel a need to be married or get married with positivity when there is an air of negativity around us?
actually no.. lets start opening up threads about good marriages. The only thing is, hardly anyone responds to those… and people who want to talk about how good their hubbies are or how well they get along with their inlaws… they get told to basically get a life and stop making other people feel bad
there are very good marriages out there… dont be afraid and dont let isolated incidents make u weary of what a wonderful life you have ahead of u
just make sure u go in with an open heart and mind… dont go in thinking, that i hope i am understood… go into a marriage promising urself that u will try to understand him and Inshallah he will in turn understand u.
Take down ego barriers.. dont worry about what family members think or say… just make urself and him the number one priority. And yes, communicate… give in a little.. take a little… and just enjoy urself.
Inshallah if u go on with a clear and mature mind, things will work out well :k:
Dont read Life1 threads...these are extreme cases...few and far in between. Because its a Relationships forum, all of these threads end up here which is why you see so many of them.
Listen, although we hear a lot of stories of inlaw and husband abuse...you have no reason to be scared. Sometimes its the girl thats at fault too...we just dont know it. Remember, you only have ONE side of the story here.
You will get what you put into your relationships. By that I mean try your hardest but dont become a door mat. Make sure you do your best to make it work but you dont have to be walked on. There is a certain amount of respect a woman gets from her husband for surviving horrific inlaws...it may not come right away but it does come.
every good marriage requires dedication, time and patience.
It cant happen overnight, but it does happen.
You wont have a problem/issue free marriage, but u can definately minimise the problems by having the right attitude. Like any relationship, marriage takes time and requires a lot of love and affection. So just keep that in mind :)
the other thing is, its best not to discuss every eedy beedy information with the family. There are some things that just dont need to be discussed. For example, the way u and ur husband do ur finances.. the cooknig... the running of the house. Thats ur and ur husbands decision... unless ur living with inlaws, then include them (in things that will affect them). That being said, sometimes we think that some decision we take wont affect people we are living with cus it doesnt involve them... fair enough. However, if they are adults.. older than u, its just a nice thing to let them know nicely what uve decided so they know beforehand. Its not a nice feeling to know someting is going on in the house and u havent been included. Thats never a nice feeling (still this doesnt apply to how u handle finances...)
khair, im sure ur a mature person and know all of this... im just rattling off silly suggestions.
The Main Philosphy there is , that Many of GS Members are very delibrate in giving sincere suggestions.
But when there is some thing amusing they Enjoy it.
which is another beauty of GS in every Forum.
All what I want to say is that donot look only the PROBLEM oriented Threads , they are hot here not because these problems are in Major portion but because they get More attention.
always always pray to Allah for best in life n here after ' Rabbana atina fi duniya hasanatun wa...." is the best dua one can hav. n trust He will b with you always. Ups n downs r a part of life n same is for married life. some ppl do feel extreme pain.but not all r unfortunate. most however do not tackle with situations the right way n end up in misery.
think Life 1 as ur preparatory class to ur future married life. things u read here are examples of bad times not a complusory fact of life. Advices u read here r for a good way to learn majority prospect on handling diff situations. but u can make ur fears ur strength. instead of avoiding marriage learn to make the biggest decision of ur life with caution. don't rush into any relation that brings u regret later.
yes your rite ther are alot of divorces these days, but u have to take the risk and hope pray that all goes well, like me av been divorced and looking to get married again and yes it does scare me but my experience will help me work in my new marriage inshallah
so dont have too many nightmares - just pray and dream of having a happy marriage inshallah
The girls before me have said it all really.. when you don’t know what the future holds, why would you be scared? Just because a few girls have opened threads on their bad experiences, doesn’t mean theres no good experiences out there.. you just don’t hear about them often enough. Have faith in your future and the great one above who decides it. InshAllah, it’ll all be fine
PLEASE do not be afraid of marriage absed solely on threads on GS Life 1 threads. Possibly a lot of the threads are fictitious and created just to stir things up, and not necessarily factual. Plus not enough people actually post threads about how happy and wonderul their life is going because others will just bash their happiness.
