ok so i am engaged to my khalas son but it was totally choice i liked the guy cos he was everything i like in a guy he also felt the same he told his mum whilst i told my mum anyways we r now engaged it was a small family event nothing big. but now i am finding out so much stuff that has been said about me behind my bk most of the stuff which has been taken out of context and ppl r still going bout stuff i said wen i was 13 14 i mean i was a kid get over it already why dont u . my dad poopi really pissed me off cos she made a story up which is compeletly not true and my MIL confronted her and she denied it but my MIL told her off so badly.
the thing is the person is makin up stories and tryin to ruin my reputation is my own grandmother she comes out with **** like oh she is stpud she has no manners she cant do anything she eats ten plates of pasta and all this crap
i am like i treat her with repsect around her i have always spoken in such a polite manner and there is no way in hell i ate 10 plates of pasta.
i think she is trying to ruin my image amongst my future in laws and it is really getting me down.
Best thing is to confront the people who are spreading rumours about u - otherwise it will go on forever and they will try and bring u down and you will feel very low in confidence, So sort it out quick before it gets out of hand!
Awww u poor thing! Unfortuntely jealousy can emerge even amongst families and it seems like ppl r jealous of u and r trying to rake up stuff from when u were a kid-its really pathetic. Stay strong and im sure ur parents will support u as well. Have u spoken to ur parents abt this stuff flying around? Im really glad ur MIL is backing u up and told ur phoopi off. How ridiculous!
Get married to the guy and then say goodbye to your prents and move out from that destination for a while and when u two guys are successful move back but dont live with those who cause trouble and stay out of their way, and if they still make things up about you then just ignore em coz the truth will always remain the truth no matter how many grandmothers get togeather to ruin ur life.
a concensus can NEVER unite on a lie, meaning if they lie it will always be a lie and the truth will always prevail.
and Good luck :-) coz life only starts when u get married. this what your experiencing is as i call it 'shooting practice' the real shooting is after you get married.
how in the world can a grandmother do such a thing? I would sit down with her and ask her what have I done to made her upset enough to say all this about me. Ask her if I can fix it somehow?
Secondly, i would take my fiance in confidence and discuss everything with him; I'd ask him what is his view and tell him everything in my mind and everything that is bothering me.
I hope everything turns out fine for you. Allah Mian sab ko hidayat de, ameen.
Very strange. Maybe she wanted one of her other granddaughters to marry her grandson instead of you. The good thing is that your MIL-to-be is sticking up for you, additionally your fiance loves u which is even better. See if ur dad can talk to his mother about the accusations and have her hold back on the unjust negative comments. If u were to talk to her she would use it to prove how ill-mannered and disrespectful you are, if your mum did it that would give ur daadi more ammunition so its best if ur dad took care of the matter.
my mum knows wats going on she is parshaan as well cos i am not doin my tareef but i am a decent girl i dont do anything so for them to say stuff is beyond me my dad is the stay quite type so he wont say **** my fiance knows everything and he is itching to have a go at her or to tell her off i know they r just jelous of my realtionship but it just hurts me that my own grandmother is behavin in such a manner i have seen her taste in men but she treats me and my sister like we r just garbge but with my dad it is like oh my lovely son and my son and all this business but we r the kids of that son but she doesnt even treat us like family
If it was a cousin or someone a lil older, maybe.. but a teenage girl "confronting" a little old lady will just make things look worse. Leave it to the elders to handle, that's IF the parents have enough balls to stand up for their children.. Luckily it seems like heR MIL did have the courage to stand up to em..
I think maybe she started this crap just because she wanted another grandchild for your fiance? These family marriages can be very very tricky..
i’ve got a grandmother like yours too
She’s ruined my mums life and completely ignores me/my sisters yet she keeps 24/7 contact with my dad of all that happens in this household.She’s like one of those ‘Big Brother’ ppl or shall i say ‘Big Mother’ ppl who set tasks ,ruin ppls reputation: setting fire to all the decent beings in the world.
u are in a tough spot. peopel in the thread have given you good feedback, I concur, most importantthing is that your fiance should be 10000% on your side, if that is the case nothing else really amtters and is icing on the cake.
since u are marrying someone from your nanhiyal and not your dadhiyaal that may be the issue. maybe yer daadi wanted you to marry someone from your dad's side.. who knows for whatever reasons.
No need to bend over backwards and win her over with kindness, that BS rarely works. explain your concerns toy your folks and have them be your champions.
Now what I am going to say next is something you may or may not want to do. It may backfire, it takes guts and it has to be done right. I have done it and as tough as it was, it did the trick. Confront the person in private, tell them to back off. in the end if they want to raise hue and cry about it, admit that you talked and expressed your concerns to her, but not to anything else. done right the person may just get off your back, done wrong you may give them real ammo against you.
Of course another option is to have an elder bring it up in a family setting, so there are witnesses present, goal is to try to put a stop to it. It is amazing how people who talk a lot of smack duc for cover when confornted by their crap in a group setting. she being your daadi its going to be tough though. phuppi, chachi would have been easier.
easiest route...thank your fiance and his mum for being your champions...use your energies to impress them rather than this lady who is trying t harm you.
Confronting the issue may work with some people. Though I've never been in this type of situation, I can only imagine how I would react. I believe in karma or Kismet, whatever you wanna call it. It'll come back to them if you just keep your cool and not stoop to their level. Keep your dignity and move on. People will see by the way you live your life and conduct yourself that the stories are not true. Just pray and get yourself out of that atmosphere. The more you combat this the more fuel you'll add to the fire.
jelous log…disgusted…remmeber ppl can never see any1 else being happy…theyr tryin to make u look bad cus theyr jealous n its not a shock to me that its one of ur family members…its good ur MIL trusts u n is on ur side…n thas all that matters…dun b soo upset…inshallah ull have a good married life…n then u can show them…theyll shut-up eventually
