Re: I am getting engaged! WOOOOOO!
nikkah/engagement = bride’s side except for her clothes and stuff you arrange for that
rukhsati= bride’s side (nikkah and rukhsati may be done on same day)
valima = guy;s side
mehndi = both
bari= gifts for the bride from the guy’s side
jahez=gifts for the bride from the bride’s side
ideally the engagement is just a small baat pakki type thing done at the bride’s place
then mehndi cost is split between both sides
nikkah and rukhsati is arranged by bride
valima is all on the guy
i know of a family that did something different tho…the baat pakki was really informal where the guy’s side went to the brides house when the brides side had agreed on the rishta and just exchanged mithaii
then they ended up splitting the cost for both the mehndi and the nikkah/rukhsati and then the guy paid for the valima …this was done this way because the guy was against putting so much of a burden on the girls family
so it really depends on ur family