My husband is planning to go to canada for work. I cant go with him due to visa problem. I am with him after 3 years of my marriage in europe. Though he used to visit every year. I dont want him to go alone as I am no more willing to live alone and spend my own life. He is just after money and does not care what I feel or want.
What do you guys suggest?
Re: I am confused.
There are financial crisis in this country we are living in. I want to be with him where ever he wants to go for work and am willing to work with him too. Whenever I discuss with him what about us after you he says will see when I´l go. Am i becoming selfish or doing wrong.
Re: I am confused.
Needing to provide for the family and only caring about money are two very different things. Which is it, in your case?
Could it be he's hesitating to take you with him because he's unsure about his own living situation once abroad? A single man can make his place anywhere, but having to settle with a wife and/or kids is completely different. If you don't mind me asking, what type of work does your husband do? Is it professional type career or is he in more of a blue collar job?
None of us here can really tell you what is right and what is wrong or what you should do, because we don't know the in's and outs of your marriage.
Re: I am confused.
Any good job. He wants me to work and live my life untill he is able to keep us with him which will take my whole life because he is more interested in making money and property instead of keeping us with him abroad.
He is not going to come back soon once he goes there and i will not be able to go there either. This feeling is horrible for me. I dont want to live like widows. we have one kid too. I know he will make some money but what about me and my kid.
Re: I am confused.
Reading between the lines because you weren't very clear:
You and your husband lived in Pakistan. Your husband moved to Europe to provide a better life for you. You lived alone in Pakistan (Q1: For how long, and who financially supported you while you were in Pakistan?).
You eventually moved to Europe to be with your husband. Now your husband wants to move to Canada but says you can't come with him just now.
A few questions for you:
2) When your husband moves to Canada, will you move back to Pakistan?
3) If you remain in Europe, do you have a support system of friends and family or will you be by yourself?
4) How will you financially support your lifestyle in Pakistan or Europe - will your husband send you money or will you have to work?
5) Do you have children?
6) When does your husband expect to be able to sponsor you to live with him in Canada?
Re: I am confused.
Sigh…
OP, did you know prior to marrying your husband, that the situation was such that you wouldn’t be able to live your husband right away? Has it always been like this? You said you joined him after 3 years of marriage, where were you before?
I don’t really know what to advise you. It’s a sucky situation to be in for sure, and I don’t blame you for being frustrated, however, think long and hard…you know your husband, we don’t…do you think that there are any suggestions we can give that you haven’t tried yourself?
On a side note, I honestly don’t understand this concept that is prevalent in our culture of marrying someone who is settled somewhere or in a situation where the couple can’t or doesn’t live together and see each other only once a year. I’ve seen it in my extended family as well…it’s so annoying 
Re: I am confused.
I don't get it either..
Re: I am confused.
He's doing it for you and his child. Do you have your own job or is he the sole bread winner.
Re: I am confused.
I think you should sit down with your husband and talk it ALL through! Discuss everything, give him a chance to explain first and then you tell him how you feel. IA through communication your able to resolve this issue once and for all :)
Re: I am confused.
We are not sure about your financial situation and how badly he needs a job. Its something that only you know, so sit with him and talk about it. It does take time to bring your spouse to Canada so, its not possible for him to bring you along right now. I do agree that husband and wife should not live separate after the marriage but sometimes reality is very hard.
Re: I am confused.
[quote="Sehrysh, post:466, topic:300109"]
Reading between the lines because you weren't very clear:
You and your husband lived in Pakistan. Your husband moved to Europe to provide a better life for you. You lived alone in Pakistan (Q1: For how long, and who financially supported you while you were in Pakistan?).
When I was in pak it was my husband plus I was doing very good job.
You eventually moved to Europe to be with your husband. Now your husband wants to move to Canada but says you can't come with him just now.
A few questions for you:
2) When your husband moves to Canada, will you move back to Pakistan?
This is what I wanted to know which he did not clear to me.
3) If you remain in Europe, do you have a support system of friends and family or will you be by yourself?
No support from anyone. I am learning language of this country so unable to work though i am looking for the job too.
4) How will you financially support your lifestyle in Pakistan or Europe - will your husband send you money or will you have to work?
I replied above
5) Do you have children?
1 kid
6) When does your husband expect to be able to sponsor you to live with him in Canada?
don´t know/QU
Re: I am confused.
Yes it is definitely odd to live alone especially when kids are there. I am totally against this. I told my husband before marriage that I would live with you.
Re: I am confused.
[quote="Sehrysh, post:466, topic:300109"]
Reading between the lines because you weren't very clear:
You and your husband lived in Pakistan. Your husband moved to Europe to provide a better life for you. You lived alone in Pakistan (Q1: For how long, and who financially supported you while you were in Pakistan?).
When I was in pak it was my husband plus I was doing very good job.
You eventually moved to Europe to be with your husband. Now your husband wants to move to Canada but says you can't come with him just now.
A few questions for you:
2) When your husband moves to Canada, will you move back to Pakistan?
This is what I wanted to know which he did not clear to me.
3) If you remain in Europe, do you have a support system of friends and family or will you be by yourself?
No support from anyone. I am learning language of this country so unable to work though i am looking for the job too.
4) How will you financially support your lifestyle in Pakistan or Europe - will your husband send you money or will you have to work?
I replied above 5) Do you have children?
1 kid 6) When does your husband expect to be able to sponsor you to live with him in Canada? don´t know[/QU
You should go with him. I believe, husband and wife should be away from each other unless its very temporary unavoidable circumstances. Thats why they were married in the first place, to be with each other and for each other. Ask him to make a clear plan when you will be able to join him.
If no support for u in this alien country then how will be living there legally ? Normally when u r there legally then you get support, OR if you are spouse on his work visa, then living there after he is gone, will that be legal ?
I am confused.
I was going to say. I went through the whole immigration thing and if my husband had moved that probably would be illegal and at some point could of lead to me losing my resident status? You go through a few interviews before they grant you permanent resident status. They check and ask about everything (vacations together, when you last left the country, they want pictures, etc). I have been in the US for four years and I'm still waiting for my perm green card. What is your immigration status? Are you living in Europe on a temp visit visa? Or spousal visa? Not sure how it differs there but I'm really confused. When did he apply for the immigration after your wedding for Europe?
I think you haven't told us clearly about the financial situation. Are you guys doing okay? Or is this a sacrifice for a temp solution? I feel like if it was, you might be more understanding to his decision. If you also don't mind me asking, when did you have your baby? Have you guys been together since you have been raising this baby?
Who will look after the baby while your working and your husband is in Canada? Can you afford child care?
I have a couple of more questions but will ask in a bit.