Re: I am a proud DESI
Whenever we have disscussion about desis everyone think they are paindoo or some minor creatures who doesn't belong to US. I understand some of their things are bad but still the people who brag about being "goras" are still desi and their behaviour show desi attitude but those mr perfects don't realize it.Anywayz if I cook Pakistani food I am proud of it and if I listen to my husband not because I am afraid of him because I love him I am proud desan. I was talking to one of my best friends on phone and we disscuss it what if we see movies with subtitles or what if we make rotis or we take care of our hubs and children very well but we are doing best jobs.But some people are such snobs that for them everything revolves around them and they think they are fashion divas or they have everything perfect but we desis minor creatures are nothing.Well for them here is a note "If you are such goras just shut your mouth and behave like human beings instead of mocking other people even in a joke and if still it bothers you then try to cut your roots because no matter what you do until you turn to christianity you will still be a desi"
There are cultural traits and norms that may be fine in one place but dont work in another, when ppl are critiquing some behavior or even mocking it, it is behavior that is not generally acceptable. e.g. issues with hygiene, not using deodorant, how one dresses. if its odd for one place it is odd, no matter how well accepted it is in another place.
we think we only use the terms like abcd and fob, look into chinese comunities and u will see that is where it emerged, and they too dont like aspects which may be acceptable back in china but not here.
Its not just limited to people who were born or raised overseas and those who have dapted well vs. newbies/freshies/fobs or those who have not adapted well, even in pakistan ppl mock ppl from different localities ..someone is a defencia, someone is a typical lalukhetia, someone is a definte nazimabad wala etc. what is being done there? some commonly observed traits are extrapolated to an entire area and to everyone living there.
the terms may be incorrect, but its the traits that are critiqued, so instead of oh its so desi, if we use oh thats so paindu, would that be okay?
I am a proud desi, a proper desi.. a civilized desi...but that is not going to stop me from pointing out obvious crap that other desis bring from Pakistan and it does not fly in US or UK, or their dodgy actions, or the group baazi, or the gossip factories. etc etc. It has nothing to do with being a gora.
even finding humour in things like that list "you know if you are desi if" is okay, i am not sure why people get so bent out of shape about them :)
In the end no one is a desi forever, and its not like everyones offsprngs are going to be just as desi as their parents, with generations preferences and views about food, lifestyle, etc all shift. you then have interactions between recent arrival expats, maladjusted expats, welladjusted expats, first gen, second gen local offsprings of the mal adjusted or welladjsuted expats. throw in socioeconomic group differences and you have a huge variety.
lastly, you have to realize that for many first or second gen brit-paks or yank-paks, they see what is local...and then they see what is desi, whether its cultural events, weddings, parties, movies etc.. their frame of reference in US and then see something different and they dont see it anywhere but among desis (it may be among polish, arabs, vietnamese etc as well, but when was the last time we went to a vietnamese concert and saw fights broke out..i mean gfights may have broken out but how many of us have gone to a vietnamese concert..or when ppl talk about desi uncles in illfitting suits at valimas, how manyppl have gone to polish weddings and seen polish uncles dressed poorly) so they associate these tins with desi stuff..events starting really late, fights at every event, and that sort of stuff.
its nothing to be that touchy about :)