Whenever we have disscussion about desis everyone think they are paindoo or some minor creatures who doesn’t belong to US.
I understand some of their things are bad but still the people who brag about being “goras” are still desi and their behaviour show desi attitude but those mr perfects don’t realize it.Anywayz if I cook Pakistani food I am proud of it and if I listen to my husband not because I am afraid of him because I love him I am proud desan.
I was talking to one of my best friends on phone and we disscuss it what if we see movies with subtitles or what if we make rotis or we take care of our hubs and children very well but we are doing best jobs.But some people are such snobs that for them everything revolves around them and they think they are fashion divas or they have everything perfect but we desis minor creatures are nothing.Well for them here is a note “If you are such goras just shut your mouth and behave like human beings instead of mocking other people even in a joke and if still it bothers you then try to cut your roots because no matter what you do until you turn to christianity you will still be a desi”
Re: I am a proud DESI
Keep in mind that every language in the world has its own unique vocabulary and slang. The word "paindu" is part of desi slang language. I have a sense of pride in various aspects of my native language including our unique slang.
Now, let's analyze the word "paindu". The word paindu can mean different things to people. "Paindu" can mean someone who has a cheap mentality or crude way of talking and acting. For example, if I read or hear stories of villagers murdering their daughters in honor killings......to me that's cheap mentality or "paindu" behavior. If I hear about a mother-in-law commiting attrocities against her daughter-in-law....that to me is "paindu" mentality. Paindu can mean jaahil sometimes as well.
Americans have their own terms/slang in the English language that indicate disapproval....examples like "eeew" "yuck" "gross" "that is sooo gay" "that is so fruity'' "what a LOSER" "that is so cheesy" "what a village idiot", etc, etc. A gora might see another gora wearing unflattering clothes and say something like "Eeew what a Loser....that outfit is a FASHION CRIME." Similarly a desi might see another desi wearing unflattering clothes and say "Eeew....what paindu style."
I will agree with you that it's admirable to be proud of your heritage and culture instead of pretending to deny your background and roots. At the same time....I also believe that one should look at their culture with an open mind....that way we can work on improving our problem areas that are plaguing desi society. There is nothing wrong with admitting that your culture might have some problem areas that need to be fixed.
It's best not to generalize. There's nothing wrong with listening to your spouse. That is not a particularly "desi" behavior. However, if one's husband is abusive.....then a wife should not tolerate his paindu behavior. All marriages are different. I haven't seen any desi who has complained about roti. Most desis that I have met have such PRIDE in desi cooking and cuisine. However....some people may personally not like spicy desi food. And many desis in universities are so involved in organziations like *PSA *(Pakistani Student Association) and their events show the interest they have in their culture.
I wear shalwar kameez at home. My sister doesn't feel comfortable in it. Doesn't mean she's anti-desi. She just prefers wearing western clothes....always has. My sister** LOVES to watch desi dramas while she's dressed in her jeans and t-shir. ME...on the other hand......I don't like desi dramas very much (especially Indian ones) becaue i find their concepts and story lines to be **pathetic.....and i'm the one wearing the shalwar kameez.
*What I'm trying to say is that it's hard to generalize people because there are so many dimensions to their personalities.
*
And not all desis living abroad are as you described. While they may not like a few aspects of their culture does not mean that they are ashamed of being desi on the whole.
Re: I am a proud DESI
me too, me too 
Re: I am a proud DESI
Nothing to be proud of if you had nothing to do with it.
Re: I am a proud DESI
The question is that does your husband love the desi food you cook for him oh you proud proud desan or is he wishing for some couscous instead soniye 
Jokes asides, no matter how long we’ve been away from home, we’re still desi deep within, at least I am, and with the years of living abroad now, we’ve definitely incorporated some western traditions into our day to day life. I think even if we resist some influences are inevitable, mostly in the way we talk and adjust our lifestyles and mannerisms
Re: I am a proud DESI
Re: I am a proud DESI
Whenever we have disscussion about desis everyone think they are paindoo or some minor creatures who doesn't belong to US. I understand some of their things are bad but still the people who brag about being "goras" are still desi and their behaviour show desi attitude but those mr perfects don't realize it.Anywayz if I cook Pakistani food I am proud of it and if I listen to my husband not because I am afraid of him because I love him I am proud desan. I was talking to one of my best friends on phone and we disscuss it what if we see movies with subtitles or what if we make rotis or we take care of our hubs and children very well but we are doing best jobs.But some people are such snobs that for them everything revolves around them and they think they are fashion divas or they have everything perfect but we desis minor creatures are nothing.Well for them here is a note "If you are such goras just shut your mouth and behave like human beings instead of mocking other people even in a joke and if still it bothers you then try to cut your roots because no matter what you do until you turn to christianity you will still be a desi"
There are cultural traits and norms that may be fine in one place but dont work in another, when ppl are critiquing some behavior or even mocking it, it is behavior that is not generally acceptable. e.g. issues with hygiene, not using deodorant, how one dresses. if its odd for one place it is odd, no matter how well accepted it is in another place.
we think we only use the terms like abcd and fob, look into chinese comunities and u will see that is where it emerged, and they too dont like aspects which may be acceptable back in china but not here.
Its not just limited to people who were born or raised overseas and those who have dapted well vs. newbies/freshies/fobs or those who have not adapted well, even in pakistan ppl mock ppl from different localities ..someone is a defencia, someone is a typical lalukhetia, someone is a definte nazimabad wala etc. what is being done there? some commonly observed traits are extrapolated to an entire area and to everyone living there.
the terms may be incorrect, but its the traits that are critiqued, so instead of oh its so desi, if we use oh thats so paindu, would that be okay?
I am a proud desi, a proper desi.. a civilized desi...but that is not going to stop me from pointing out obvious crap that other desis bring from Pakistan and it does not fly in US or UK, or their dodgy actions, or the group baazi, or the gossip factories. etc etc. It has nothing to do with being a gora.
even finding humour in things like that list "you know if you are desi if" is okay, i am not sure why people get so bent out of shape about them :)
In the end no one is a desi forever, and its not like everyones offsprngs are going to be just as desi as their parents, with generations preferences and views about food, lifestyle, etc all shift. you then have interactions between recent arrival expats, maladjusted expats, welladjusted expats, first gen, second gen local offsprings of the mal adjusted or welladjsuted expats. throw in socioeconomic group differences and you have a huge variety.
lastly, you have to realize that for many first or second gen brit-paks or yank-paks, they see what is local...and then they see what is desi, whether its cultural events, weddings, parties, movies etc.. their frame of reference in US and then see something different and they dont see it anywhere but among desis (it may be among polish, arabs, vietnamese etc as well, but when was the last time we went to a vietnamese concert and saw fights broke out..i mean gfights may have broken out but how many of us have gone to a vietnamese concert..or when ppl talk about desi uncles in illfitting suits at valimas, how manyppl have gone to polish weddings and seen polish uncles dressed poorly) so they associate these tins with desi stuff..events starting really late, fights at every event, and that sort of stuff.
its nothing to be that touchy about :)
Re: I am a proud DESI
I dont think the most important thing is desi or gori or whatever other cultural or ethnic backgound....the most important thing is whether you're a good person. I've seen good and bad desis, good and bad goras, good and bad african americans etc etc. For sure, be proud of what and who you are.
I aspire to the precedent set by my sister-in-law. She is beautiful, stunning...in her looks but more importantly, in her heart. When her husband invites 50 guests for the weekend and tells her about it on Thursday, she takes it all in stride and serves her guests as if they were all sultans. With a happy smile on her face, with a sparkling clean and welcoming home. Cooking with vegetables that she tends and grows in her own garden. While taking care of her 4 kids who are older/college and marriage-aged now...but still. She is selfless, beautiful and caring down to the smallest detail whether she's faced with a family weekend or with company of 50 or more on short notice. Nothing can "ruffle her feathers" and she really enjoys what she does. How I'd LOVE to be more like her!