Something has left me wondering this…
A mother is trying to teach her 7-8 child the importance of 5 prayers a day and the concept of fasting in Ramadan…and the consequences of not doing so…
The father unfortunately does not pray that regularly or fast regularly…
The child asks the mom why he has to pray if his father does not…??
What is the mom supposed to say to the child…??
Go ask your father…??
He will suffer the consequences for himself…??
How can one handle this question…??
P.S…This is not about the father …Assume he is the perfect dad else wise…
This is just about how the child’s question can be answered…
That is a very tough question.....and I would hazard to suggest that the best policy is honesty.
If this was the case with my child I would tell the child that each person is responsible for his or her own actions and will reap the eventual rewards/consequences. Of course the message must be delivered with as much positive reinforcement as possible so as to focus on the good rather than the bad.
While this may not be the most ideal solution, I consider it the better one since preaching without practicing leads a child down a completely different and definitely negative path.
At least if you are truthful you will retain the child's respect and your credibility.
Hmmm. Tough call.
Maybe it is best to make it a learning oppurtunity for both the child and the father. Maybe the child can be taught to grab the fathers hand and get him to join and pray in ranks together.
"Your dad has gotten into a bad habit, and it is ur job as their child to help them back on track."
I would hesitate to suggest that the father has "gotten into a bad habit" or anything negative for the matter.
Sometimes adults make choices that the youngsters can't uderstand and focusing on these "habits" or actions will not serve any good.
I would have the conversation with my husband and tell him that his neglect of prayers is adversely impacting the religious education of his child. If he is a model father by all other means then he may just need this little push in the right direction.....
Sounds like a perfect opportunity to discuss why we do what we do i.e. we do things because they are the right thing to do, not because others are doing it.
Bride2be....Children look upto their parents.Letting them know in any way that their father is into a bad habit may tarnish that image in their eyes.
AJ....a very good point...but still it can be hard to get this point across to a 7 year old...no..?!?!...I don't know...
Muzna....I agree its a tough one and I was just thinking that what will I do if I was ever in the same situation...You want to be honest and straight forward and yet not say anything negative about the father.If the child is told that the consequences of not obeying the Fard of Islam is 'dozakh ki aag'...(obviously not that graphically) how will the child be able to digest the fact that his father will be suffering in the life after..??
Its really a tough call since its a 7 year old child you can just say "you know beta everyone has to pay for his amaals but we can always pray for our loved ones that they start praying and remember ALLAH.ALLAH listens to children and when you will pray your dad will start praying" Or "We can always pray to ALLAH about everything and you can always pray to ALLAH about your dad "AYE ALLAH please help my dad so he can remember you" And take the conversation to praying so they can ask less questions.
I have a cousin whose husband did not use to pray or anything.... No rozay...
After abt 10-12 years of marriage (they have 3 kids MashAllah).. Now he reg prays, fast.. even go to the Tarawahii's.. The elder son used to say if Abba is not doing it, y shud i... And one day MashAllah he started doing it all... we were all really surprised...... but MASHALLAH its great!
ALLAH TALLAH hum sabko taufiq de aur naik raastay per chalaye! Ameen..