An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and their anniver- sary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed,
“Your loving husband.”
His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, “Nice flowers, honey. Where’d you get them?”
A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age.
The husband responded, “When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions.”
At which point the wife took up the tale, “And in 60 years of marriage we have never needed to make a major decision.”
“That wife of mine is a liar,” said the angry husband to a sympathetic friend while driving the car. “How do you know?” the friend asked. “She didn’t come home last night and when I asked her where she’d been, she said she had spent the night with her sister, Jessie.” “So?” “So she’s a liar. I spent the night with her sister, Jessie.”
A man calls home to his wife and says, Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! please pack my new blue silk pajamas. The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says,Yes! lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do? The wife replies; I did, they were in your tacklebox.
UH-OH!!!
