Husbands, Wives, Mil(s), Dil's etc. The Married family dynamics:

[diwana]

Re: Husbands, Wives, Mil(s), Dil’s etc. The Married family dynamics:

@IcedDiamond

Op of the other thread MIL slaps husband here

The story which I related in that thread was not an isolated issue.
The only unusual aspect was the slap. **My MIL has yelled at us before.
**
My husband has argued and yelled at her before. She will not listen to me or my husband.
I have never talked back to her. I respected her because she is my husband’s mother.

My husband told me that we should move out if there were problems.
**I told him no, because she is his mother.
**
But enough of my personal issues. To respond to the Op of this thread:
My husband said to me A man cannot be all things to all women.
That no-one (especially him) can treat all relationships equally.
That he was a husband FIRST and a son SECOND.
That he was willing to forsake everyone for me. Of course, I never asked him to.

Too many men will not choose. **A wife should come before others. **
There is no comparison between a wife and a mother. On that I agree.
And my husband to me comes before my mother.

To your red parts first: Sorry. No, I personally do not agree to those.

A spouse does not have first and not even second position compared to MIL from both sides.

You said there is no comparison between wife and mother, so why bring before and after?

You mentioned the situation was not an isolated issue.

Both mother and her son have yelled at each other.

A slap was not such an unexpected gesture. She as a mother felt he was out of line and yelling at him has not worked before,
so she took a physical approach. Not good.

But the physical approach was not something so harmful. Come on, a grown up man should be able to withstand a slap from a woman who happens to be his mother.

Not really a huge deal. He is not made of glass or wax.

---

**Eid dinner or day is a special day. It is about sacrifice and giving up something precious.

**
LAST MINUTE CHANGE?

Apologize for being blunt: There was no big deal of making one dish instead of other and even though it was perceived as an order from his mother.

Her wish should have been taken seriously and with respect.

Before Eid dinner and night before, there is plenty of time to make any dish and certainly should not be advertized as “last minute change”.

It is not that it was 6-8 PM at Eid night and guests were ringing the bell for dinner and his mother “ordered” to change the menu.

Even if that was he case, there was no need for husband to yell at her.

Question: How old is his mother? At least tell roughly around what age?