I think by not saying anything she is letting him walk all over her and continue to let him disrespect her. She shouldn't be afraid to stand up for herself and ask for some respect for her and her family members who are not even in the picture. I bet if she were to stoop to his level it would get her in a lot of trouble. He clearly thinks he has some kind of power that gives him a right to say hurtful things to her.
Op, I hope you are safe in the environment you live in. Asking for a little bit of respect is not a lot and if she can't even do that much the this is a very sad scenario. She shouldn't have to feel afraid of him or let it go when something is starting to get worse I assume. I don't think he'll stop because he already knows it gets to her and if not this then hell find something else to put her down about. He is clearly a bully.
I can totally understand and relate to it. People, dont forget! Its a whole different story if ur a housewife, dependent on your husband and if living in pakistan.
What most posters have suggested, I always do the same. My husband has always been taunting about my family. As much I avoid replying back or be indifferent, he has never taken the hint , how this kills me inside. Ridiculous how he taunts about their every action even when we dont (my maika) dont live in the same city.
He has somehow befriended some of my distant relatves ( who btw are step relatives) and keeps in touch with them over phone to know what my family is doing.
I too, have never said anything bad about his family and I know he is aware of it too, but nothing seems to stop him.
Initially, I used to get upset and hurt and used to cry whenever he insulted my family, but over the period of time , I just stopped paying attention to when he was taunting my family.and thought ok, he's going to answer for his deeds and lies.
In my case , he also bad mouths them among his acquaintances as well.
I don't think you should hide your family from your husband. They have as much right to frequent your home and visit you and their grandkids. This whole, meeting them in private so hubby wont get mad, is just being a doormat and letting him get away with his crap comments.
He doesn't like them? Too bad, deal with it. They're your wife's family, muster up the tameez to be polite for an afternoon so they can visit their daughter and their grandkids.
Doesn't make sense - this mentality of - if you're the girl, and your inlaws give you problems - solution: keep your mouth shut;
if your husband gives you problems about HIS inlaws - solution: keep your mouth shut.
You can keep it shut for small issues, but if your own spouse is crossing boundaries, they need to be told to be respectful, and try to get along.
The same, btw, goes for guys and their problems with the wife not getting along with his parents - you can dislike someone, and you can draw your own boundaries, but no one has any right to say rude things about someone else's family members. That's just stupid.
A farmer was watching a fellow farmer plough his farm. After a while they had a little conversation.
Farmer 1 (the bystander) to Farmer 2, casually: your ploughshare isn’t running straight and you’re messing things up.
Farmer 2 to Farmer 1, tauntingly: what are you talking about? Your sister eloped with the Chaudhry’s son.
Farmer 1, bewildered: What does that have to do with anything?
Farmer 2, essay taraaN hi gallan tu gal nikaldi ae
I don't think you should hide your family from your husband. They have as much right to frequent your home and visit you and their grandkids. This whole, meeting them in private so hubby wont get mad, is just being a doormat and letting him get away with his crap comments.
He doesn't like them? Too bad, deal with it. They're your wife's family, muster up the tameez to be polite for an afternoon so they can visit their daughter and their grandkids.
Doesn't make sense - this mentality of - if you're the girl, and your inlaws give you problems - solution: keep your mouth shut;
if your husband gives you problems about HIS inlaws - solution: keep your mouth shut.
You can keep it shut for small issues, but if your own spouse is crossing boundaries, they need to be told to be respectful, and try to get along.
The same, btw, goes for guys and their problems with the wife not getting along with his parents - you can dislike someone, and you can draw your own boundaries, but no one has any right to say rude things about someone else's family members. That's just stupid.
