husbands career, relationship and children

[Paheli00]

Re: husbands career, relationship and children

@naima27

1. He’s a lawyer but has worked mostly in crime and injury work due to various government reforms pay in this area is pretty bad- a cashier at a shop can sometimes earn more than a lawyer in this area. He wants to move into the commercial field where there are more jobs and better pay but no one offers him interviews because his experience is essentially irrelevant I guess. The difficulty with going back to school is the cost and also the lack of guarantee of a job at the end because relevant experience is his issue not qualifications.

Unfortunately I don’t know anything about the legal field in the UK. But in additional to attending legal networking events on a regular basis and looking for job everywhere, I would also recommend looking into advanced degreed if that’s an option in the UK.

@naima27

2. We have looked just outside our city (which would mean me commuting into my job) but perhaps we should look elsewhere. I have a feeling he might face a similar problem in other cities but you never know I guess. We did once talk about this and I said I could join him later if I was able to find something but he didn’t like that idea. Might be time to give that some serious consideration though.

I could suggest looking everywhere in the UK. Since the ideal situation is for HIM to work full-time and for you to work part time or not work at all…then your current job should not come into play. If he is able to find a job anywhere in the UK that pays well enough for you to stay-at-home or look for another job (full-time or part-time) in a different city, then based on your ideal future goals, that shouldn’t be an issue. If he gets a well-paying job, he could move to the city for 3-4 months and settle down and see how it goes. If things go smooth then you can move there and join him. Depending on the distance, you quit your current job and find a new one OR commute if possible.

@naima27

3. I’ve floated this idea with him and he isn’t against it. It’s not ideal but then I guess that’s life. I really see a lot of potential in him to go really far if someone gave him the opportunity which is why I also don’t like the idea of him putting his career second. I guess it can’t be helped that the field I am in is growing and his isn’t.

Life requires compromises. You and your husband will NOT get everything you want. If the job situation for your husband doesn’t get settled by the time you’re 32, then if he’s ok with being the primary care-giver, you two should consider that route. It doesn’t have to be decided right now but just keep that possibility open in the back of your mind.

@naima27

4. That’s a good suggestion to have a check up. Hopefully that will put to rest a little the worries I have around this. I also know plenty of people who have had kids a bit later but always see stuff in the media about how women should start at 30. Recently a friend of mine who had a baby at 28 and is now 31 and been trying for a second for a year was saying shes been having difficulty conceiving and that got me thinking again. I guess you just never know with these things.

Yes, get a full GYN check-up to make sure everything is ok. Here in the U.S., women usually get yearly check-ups. Don’t worry about what you see in the media. Talk to your GYN and make decisions based on your own body. Like you said, these things are unpredictable and nothing is guaranteed either way.