husbands career, relationship and children

[Paheli00]

Re: husbands career, relationship and children

@naima27

I don’t like the idea of working full time and having no time for my child. My own career seems to have more prospects and I know he would be flexible about going part time and tbh he is more of a kid friendly person but I guess the traditionalist in me feels a bit uncertain about this arrangement? The alternative is to delay having a family but getting closer to 30 I feel conscious that it should be soon? I would appreciate your thoughts on my situation and what you would do.

1. It’s really hard to make any comments/suggestions without knowing what your husband’s educational background or career is. Is he able to go back to school and switch to something else in a year or two? For example, if he already took science courses or in in some type of health related field, he can go back to school for programs like dental hygiene, radiation tech/ultrasound tech etc…careers where there are job prospects and pay pretty decent. So have you two explored options related to his field.

2. Have you searched for jobs only in the city you live in currently? Or are you open to moving and have searched everywhere possible?

3. What are your work hours like? If you have a 40-hour/week job and if your husband is willing to work part-time or even stay home and take care of cleaning/cooking etc. while you’re at work…that would give you plenty of time with your future child in the evenings/weekends. I know several women who have a similar type of arrangement. In fact, last week I had lunch with a old school friend and found out that she went back to work 2 months after having her baby and her husband actually took paternity leave and they plan on the husband going part-time after the paternity leave is over. They made this decision b/c she makes more money and her benefits (ie. health insurance etc.) are better than what his company provides. At the end, this is a decision only you can make. Not all women are ok with this arrangement b/c of the traditionalist thinking.

4. 30 is not a big deal IMO. Assuming you’ve been checked out by a GYN and have no health issues or reason to think that you’ll have trouble conceiving…30 is not a deadline. Most women I know personally had their babies after 30. My own mother had my two younger sisters in her late 30’s. Plenty of women these days have babies at 32/33/34 etc. So assuming you’re in good health, don’t use “30” as some deadline by which you must have a baby.