shk_14
November 3, 2009, 7:09pm
21
The temptation to do it is probably great. Don’t. It’s just going to restart another argument and you will more than likely both end up hurt again. People can be super defensive of their families. It’s the way things are. I love my friends and family. They have their flaws. I myself have pointed them out on several occasions. And still, if someone else starts pointing out the same flaws that I have pointed out previously, I get super defensive. It’s ok for me to do it, but not anyone else…which is a completely hypocritical attitude to have. But it’s the way humans are programmed.
He seems to have overreacted to your comment about his sister’s lengha. Definitely agree with you. But perhaps you shouldn’t have mentioned it. Remember the saying, “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.” There’s a reason why it’s such a popular saying because it’s stopped many arguments from getting started. I’m not trying to say that you were purposely trying to insult his sister. It’s just the sort of thing you say in a casual conversation…especially girls since we tend to notice clothes and have definite opinions on what we like/don’t like. But sometimes, it’s just wiser to not say anything depending on who you’re dealing with. I have some friends where I will tell them to their face that something looks horrid. Others, I will not say a word simply because I know it will send them into a frenzy. So just try to keep your audience in mind and move on.
As for the taking sides thing…try to take a step back and look at things dispassionately. When he’s disagreeing with you and taking their side, is he doing it simply because “this is my family and they can do no wrong” or is there a genuine reason? If it’s the former, then you need to have a discussion with him because there are two sides to every story. If it’s the latter, then perhaps a bit of self-examination is in order?
at that i didnt knew thats y i said as his side every one comments …but mujhay nahi pata tha that iam not allowed but ab to mery tobbaahhhh kay kuch b kahoonnnnn…never ever …